Michael Andor Brodeur is a “big man.” That’s the term he uses to describe himself after more than 30 years of lifting weights - some of those spent as a powerlifter, and all of those spent not just trying to get fit, but to get big. But for all the time he’s spent in the gym over the years, he’s probably spent just as much time thinking about the way men think about the connection between men, muscles, and masculinity. On this episode of Paternal, Brodeur discusses the concept of getting big and why some men are so motivated to do so, the connection between how men build their bodies and their inability to express themselves emotionally, how some men use weightlifting to deal with issues like anxiety, grief and addiction, and why the gym is a place where men are free to fail and support one another when they do fail, two things they might not be encouraged to do in other parts of society. Brodeur is the classical music critic at the Washington Post and the author of the book, Swole: The Making of Men and the Meaning of Muscle, which is available wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05:20 - Introduction 05:20 - 7:13 - First exposure to weight lifting 07:13 - 13:00 - Using weights as a way to change self-image 13:00 - 17:52 - Why men lift weights to be noticed by other men 17:52 - 22:22 - How men use their bodies as primary means of self-expression 22:22 - 25:43 - Why failure and encouragement is accepted by men the gym 25:43 - 30:05 - Carrying grief into the gym 30:05 - 33:30 - A different definition of strength