Well, some of that. Both Ukraine and Austria win. France and the Netherlands kinda stink up the place. Also, is our goalscorer feature cursed? (and if so, guess who we've cursed tomorrow..)

Spain are fabulous, Serbia are a rabble, and.. well.. England played. Or at least they attempted to. Much to unpack.

Not the most thrilling day, but there was at least some enjoyable chaos towards the end of Croatia - Albania. Also, the Swiss let themselves down with some factually inaccurate banter.

Georgia and Turkey bring the rizz, while Czechia bring some curiously Nordic vibes.

Well now. My dark horses fall to the much-dissed Romanians. Belgium do everything except kick the ball into the goal, and France are kinda fine. And, more importantly, Andy Brassell stops by the resort. Yes!

Both England and the Netherlands do just about enough, whereas Denmark get punished. Also: Ronald Koeman, ew.

Spain have less possession than their opponent for the first time in 137 years, or games. One of the two. Hungary underwhelm, Italy just.. whelm?

Euro 2024 has started! Or, well, at least one team has. Germany look sexy, Scotland look supine, and the Summer of Kai has commenced!

We've looked at the groups, now lets embark on some acts of wild and wanton speculation. Wahey!

Group F! The last group! My... favorite group? Maybe?

A new Belgium, a possible dark horse, and me being really quite negative about someone.

Group D! A tournament favorite, a bit of a dark horse, some other stuff. Pretty good group!

We've reached Group C, which can only mean one things... IS IT COMING HOME?!

The Group of Death?! Maybe, certainly the group of severe illness and significant woe - though this title is a little bit less catchy. Group B, here we come!

It's Euro preview time! Yey! Great success! First up: Group A! Which is... well... I mean it's not exactly the group of fire, is it? But off we go!

The Champions of Europe are... exactly who you thought it would be! It was a final that had, well, not everything, but it had some things!

What transfers would you like to see this summer? I asked giant football brain TK Karlsen for five picks, and brought five of my own.

It's that time of the year again: Our friend Peter is here to confront me with my terrible preseason predictions. Part 2.

It's that time of the year again: Our friend Peter is here to confront me with my terrible preseason predictions. Part 1.

The eminent Tor-Kristian Karlsen returns to help me make sense of recent developments on the managerial managerial merry-go-round. Poch out! Who in? What about United? Where does this leave De Zerbi? And what in the world is happening at Bayern? So many questions!

Peter is back, we talk Tottenham, United, numbers and Mr Slot's Weirdo Machine.

It's that time of the year again! International man of mystery and giant football brain Tor-Kristian Karlsen stops by the resort to talk about his annual list of the 39 best players in the world aged 21 and under, compiled for ESPN. Part 3 is all about the top 11.

It's that time of the year again! International man of mystery and giant football brain Tor-Kristian Karlsen stops by the resort to talk about his annual list of the 39 best players in the world aged 21 and under, compiled for ESPN. Part 2 takes in the players from 25th to 12th place...

It's that time of the year again! International man of mystery and giant football brain Tor-Kristian Karlsen stops by the resort to talk about his annual list of the 39 best players in the world aged 21 and under, compiled for ESPN. Part 1 takes in the players from 39th to 26th place...

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE COEFFICIENT?!