It's been almost two months now, and the pain is still there. I do keep thinking that he hasn't really gone. The first words that we learn, or instinctively say - even before we have an understanding of our surroundings, are Mummy or Daddy - Abba or Ima. They are the comfort, the pillows (Kariot in Hebrew - and you just thought it was a tasty Israeli breakfast cereal!) that cushion us from pain. Without them, we are exposed and in pain. The Gemoro tells us that the child begins to call these words around the time that it begins to 'taste wheat'. This is the beginning of Da'as - knowledge, understanding, connection. It is Da'as which allows us to really live. But it is Da'as that also enables sin, as without it, we are blameless. This is what brought death to the world - the first 'chet' (etymologically similar to chita - wheat). It is what stopped when the Torah was given, and then abruptly restarted with another 'Chet', of the golden calf. The original three weeks, which should have been weeks of intense happiness were inverted in a moment, to a history of pain and exile. We look to regain it in the month of Av - literally 'Daddy' - where the pain will dissipate and we will be reunited with our Father.