Few stop to consider the true source of their partner’s abusive behavior and instead wish and hope that this person will suddenly wake up and realize what they’ve done. But more often than not, the cycle of abuse is passed from one generation to the next - until someone makes a conscious decision to break the cycle of chaos. My guest today, Dr. Deb, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapy counselor for 35 years, spent 10 years researching emotional, verbal and physical abuse. While some counselors take sides, or encourage couples to divorce, Dr. Deb shows teaches couples that “Healing is Mutual” and beneath all hate is hurt. Dr. Deb's tools give victims-then turned abusers permission to feel the pain, something most do not allow themselves to do. If you – or someone you know is trapped in an abusive relationship, listen to today’s show to understand how couples can avoid divorce by getting to the root of the pain responsible for all anger and abuse.