What is the collective noun for a group of Lindas? How is anal sex like relationship bitcoin? And which Hollywood action star would Sam Pamphilon pleasure orally for £50,000? Yes, it's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Special! As usual, we get too drunk and talk absolute nonsense for too long. The same old Christmas podcast traditions are back, but Ham Review gets a new twist this year, and Nurse Jessie shares some news that leaves our jaws on the floor. Steve Hill literally phones it in, while...

Christmas eating is great, but Christmas cooking can be stressful. Joining us with her top tips for creating calm in the kitchen is Sarah Rossi, aka @TamingTwins!  She shares easy make-ahead recipes for starters and desserts, and a great idea for what to feed picky eaters on the big day. We talk about how we should all be getting into dump bags, which are nicer than they sound. Ellie reveals how Sarah's 15 minute Baileys cheesecake saved her Christmas last year, along with her theory that...

Is there a way to argue constructively? What is the best way to help someone in crisis? Should we aim for happiness, or be content with contentment? Answering all these questions is the amazing psychotherapist, author, agony aunt and artist, Philippa Perry!  She tells us all about her brilliant new book, The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read. We learn about the various styles of arguing, and discuss what our spice racks say about our personalities. We also talk about Philippa's work as...

We know it's only November, but we can't help it - we bloody love Christmas! So in our latest podcast episode, we are sharing some of our favourite festive confessions from previous shows - along with some personal stories of Christmas chaos.   We discuss our favourite things about Xmas, the worst gifts we've ever received, and what we're planning to wear on the big day. Ellie comes clean about her Elf on the Shelf spreadsheet, and shares her top tips for quick and easy elf pranks for lazy...

267: From Morrisons to Drag Race with Ella Vaday Our guest for this episode is Nick Collier, aka drag superstar Ella Vaday! He tells us how he went from working in Morrisons to wowing us with his Nigella impression on season three of RuPaul's Drag Race UK.  We hear about his time performing in the West End, and why he was banned from selling perfume in Harrods. We find out how scripted Drag Race really is, and how Nick feels about the way he was represented in the edit. Then there's some...

Our guest for this episode is the amazing Shareefa J - model, diversity activist, fitness champion, and all round bloody brilliant woman.  She tells us what it's like to watch a photographer lighten your skin tone, and to be told you're too fat when you're a size 10. We discuss how far the modelling industry still has to go when it comes to encouraging inclusivity and stamping out racism.  We get a bit personal as Shareefa and Helen discuss their experiences of being cheated on. If you're the...

What should you say to a friend who has cancer? If you're the one with the diagnosis, how do you tell your kids? And is it really possible to futureproof your body against illness? Answering all these questions is the brilliant Rosamund Dean.  She tells us about her journey from finding a lump in her boob to being cancer free, and what she wishes she'd known at the beginning. We discuss clipboard people versus duvet people, and whether early menopause is more like pick'n'mix or a Glastonbury...

Our guest for this episode is the awesome Ayo Akinwolere - Blue Peter presenter, documentary maker, fitness champion, and all-round bloody good bloke.  He tells us how he went from not being able to swim to crossing the deepest trench of the ocean in just ten weeks. We talk about the cultural divide that separates swimmers and non-swimmers in Britain, and how Ayo is trying to change things. Will he turn Ellie into an open water wanker? There's some serious chat about Ayo's experience of...

Do we all need therapy? How do you talk to a partner about sharing the mental load? And what's the first thing you need to do if you feel you're approaching burnout? Answering tricky questions like these is the awesome psychotherapist Karen Hartley!  Along with her brilliant wisdom, she shares some practical tips for things like coping with anxiety. We discuss whether there's a generational divide when it comes to therapy and mental health, and how to help teenagers cope with their feelings....

What's the best way to avoid family days out turning into disasters? How do you stop kids asking for snacks all day? And what do mums have in common with combine harvesters? Helping us to survive the last few weeks of the summer holidays is Susie Lodge! She tells us all about the website she founded, wikiplacesforkids.com, which is an excellent resource for anyone looking for ways to entertain the kids. We get some great tips for pleasing children with different ages and interests, saving...

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains two of Ellie's Dad's jokes. He joins us to share some tall tales about a magical dog, the funeral of King George VI, and the time he was at a party with Elton John (or not.) We discuss the tall tales (lies) our parents told us, and come clean about the myths, legends, and big fat whoppers we've told our own children. (NB: There's a bit of Santa chat you might not want to listen to with little ones around.) And we share some brilliantly hilarious tall...

It's hard to believe it's been a whole decade since we sat down on Ellie's sofa to record the first episode of the Scummy Mummies Podcast. But here we are, having survived premature childbirth, a s****y divorce and a global pandemic, still on the sofa, and better friends than ever.  In this special anniversary episode, we reminisce about the good old days, and reflect on whether we should be grateful for the bad times too. We tackle some tricky questions - how bad do the catsuits REALLY...

What's hardest part of parenting - the baby bit, toddler tantrums, or teenage rage? What's it like to live with your dad at the age of 40? And what's the best way to cope with an emergency nipple hair situation?  Helping us answer all this questions is the hilarious Esther Manito! She tells us all about her experience of starting comedy after having two kids. We discuss sharing domestic chores and balancing out the mental load, and generally have a good old moan.  Esther discusses living with...

How do fighter pilots get their callsigns? What's it like to risk your life every time you go to work? And why should you never eat out-of-date fudge? Answering all these questions is the amazing Mandy Hickson!  She tells us how she became one of the UK's first female fighter pilots, despite the best efforts of the Bloody Patriarchy. We talk about her 17 years in the RAF, her time in Iraq, and why she thinks motherhood is much harder than flying planes. Then Mandy discusses her new career as...

What's the best way to deal with an angry child? Why should we be saying "thank you" to our kids instead of "please"? And how do you get them to put their bloody shoes away? Answering all these questions is the awesome Marie Gentles!  Marie has loads of practical parenting tips, from managing screen use to carving out quality time - and what to do if your children don't want to spend it with you. She tells us why it's not always a good idea to ask kids what's wrong, and where to start with a...

257: TV's Dr Zoe Williams on teenage girls, healthy farts and being a Gladiator! Our guest for the episode is the fabulous Dr Zoe Williams off of the This Morning and Gladiators. She tells us about how she became a doctor via an epiphany in Ayia Napa, what it's like to be an actual Gladiator, why it's important to get your teens into sports, and she attempts to solve Helen's farting problems. Then we have some brilliant chat about Dr Zoe's new book You Grow Girl: The Complete No Worries Guide...

Our guest for this episode is the awesome Kate Ferdinand! She tells us about her experience of becoming a stepmum to three kids at the age of 26, and shares what she wishes she'd known at the start of her parenting journey.  Kate is brilliantly honest about how she really feels about pregnancy, and the expectations around forming a blended family versus the reality. We discuss some hot topics like when you should introduce a new partner to your kids, whether you should kiss in front of them,...

What's the best food to make for date night? How long should you really cook a fish finger for? And is grapefruit ever acceptable? Answering all these questions is the brilliant Sarah Rossi, aka @tamingtwins!  We talk about her fab new book, What's for Dinner?, and how she saved Ellie's Christmas. We share our filthy food secrets including our laziest comfort recipes, and our favourite kitchen gadgets. Ellie has a confession to share about a romantic gesture she made for Pete, and Helen...

In this episode we're joined by Nicki Bamford-Bowes, aka @andthentheywentwild, and Wayne Perrey, the TV carpenter! They're here with loads of tips for improving your interiors, whatever your budget.  Nicki tells us the number one thing you should do before you start any design or diy project, and Wayne has a great idea for giving kids their own space in a shared room.  We talk about whether interior design skills can be learned, and dealing with clients who have their own ideas about what...

This month marks TEN YEARS together as the Scummy Mummies! So we decided to celebrate in the traditional way - by walking to the foot of Everest to break the world record for the highest ever stand-up comedy gig!  Listen in to find out how it all went, and why we decided to go on this nonsensical adventure in the first place. We discuss the joy of hot water bottles, the misery of sleeping in -25 conditions, and the consistency of Helen's farts. We explain what it's really like to spend a...

What a Mann, what a Mann, what a Mann, what a mighty fine Mann - it's Olly Mann! The podcasting legend from Answer Me This, Today in History with the Retrospectors, The Modern Mann and many more joins us for a chinwag. We cover everything from the invention of home pregnancy testing kits to the shock of fatherhood, and who we'd rather have it off with out of Colonel Sanders and Captain Birdseye. There's a bit of serious chat as Olly discusses the sudden loss of his Dad, just six days after...

One of our favourite guests returns to the podcast to tell us about her fabulous new book! And along the way we cover everything from family secrets and maternal relationships to pubic hair shame and Beowulf.  There's some chat about how we feel about our kids getting older, and Helen shares her experience of Teensplaining. Ellie explains why she's never taking advice on days out from Instagram again, and Abigail reveals a surprising fact about Marmite. Abigail's brilliantly dark and...

Why do we always want to eat rubbish when we're tired? Are low carb diets really a good idea? And is it OK to clap your own crap? Answering all these questions is Dr Sarah Berry!  Sarah is an associate professor at King's College and also the chief scientist at Zoe, which helps people to work out which foods suit them best. Ellie talks about her experience of the program, and how her favourite bit was probably the thing with the poo hammock. We quiz Sarah on the best way to talk to kids about...

Our guest for this episode is TV's Adrian Chiles! We talk about everything from booze and Bette Midler to coping when your kids go off to uni.  Adrian tells us why he decided to cut down on the booze, and Ellie apologises for copying him by doing a podcast about the same thing, titled Sort Your Shit Out and available now wherever you get your podcasts or https://pod.link/1663245629. We hear how Adrian's regional accent was an advantage when he started working at the BBC. He shares his advice...

Our guest for this episode is the hilarious comedian Alasdair Beckett-King. He tells us why he decided to write a children's murder mystery book, even though he has no kids and has never killed anyone.  We talk about how Alasdair went from doing shit gigs in terrible pubs with us to starring on Mock the Week. He explains how a failure at film school kicked off his comedy career, and why he believes a bad first gig is better than a good one.  Helen excels herself with the running order for...