The 1000th All Black talks frankly about the brutal toll of rugby, life with early-onset dementia and his battles with alcohol. He outlines how the sport should change and recalls the circumstances in which he left to play - and stay - overseas. Oh, and he explains why he doesn't want to ditch his 1992 Nissan Patrol! (Carl also offered his thoughts on New Zealand's Rugby World Cup prospects, but it's only fair to point out the interview was recorded before the All Blacks' record defeat, to South Africa.) Warning: Discusses suicidal thoughts and alcoholism. For free help, text or call 1737, 24 hours. Carl Hayman's memoir Head On, written with Dylan Cleaver, is out now. You can read stories supporting this episode on stuff.co.nz. Need more great podcasts? Check out Stuff's full catalogue here. GET IN TOUCH Feedback? Got a guest you’d like Simon to talk to? We’re listening! Email us at [email protected]. CREDITS Host: Simon Bridges Producer: Jen Black Audio editing and mixing: John Ropiha Executive producer: Chris Reed