Stigma can't exist where there is open discussion and a safe space for understanding to develop. The thing about contracting an STI is that it is very rare that someone voluntarily acquires it. When it is acquired, the only way we have to process what it means for us is that now we're screwed because our sex-ed was 'wear condoms to avoid an STI'. Unfortunately we don't go beyond that level of education until the preventive measures have failed us. There should be more education on how to move...

This episode features the founder of The Herpes Hub, 33 year old St. Louis Native, Holly! She and I grew up in the same part of the city, went off to live life as adults, got herpes, started something we can only hope others find useful and then became connected! This shows you just how small the world is until you choose to expand it. We find ourselves identifying with something so heavily that when it's lost, we feel 'less than' as humans. We often punish ourselves with isolation and place...

Living with herpes, you have to learn to accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to. A couple questions addressed are: What does a person with herpes 'look' like? Are you settling for a partner JUST because THEY accept your condition? If you remove herpes from your life situation, what's left?  The greatest takeaway here is for you to first disclose to yourself. You should be able to look yourself in the mirror, get comfortable with the word HERPES and say to yourself, "I have...

Consent is . . . There's a massive gray area about consent fueled by the lack of understanding about what it means. Sabrina and Micki are on the forefront of making college students confident in communicating about consent through an organization designed to create a safe sex campus, Healthy Is Hot: https://healthyishotstl.wixsite.com/website  On this episode, we discuss some of the sex health statistics found on the St. Louis University College campus. We talk about some of the resources...

We can replace herpes with any mind shifting event that can occur in one's life for this episode and have several gems to help with personal growth. When can attach ourselves to ideas and beliefs about people that aren't based on reality. The only way to know that 100% is to test it. Clarice had an idea of how her father would react to him finding out she had HSV-2 and after testing it with him in reality, she was completely wrong. It took for her to have a blindsiding moment that shifted...

As mentioned, for STI Awareness month, I'm actively seeking out guests in the medical field to speak about STIs on the podcast. This episode features Tyrunne Johnson, STI Program Manager of the St. Louis County Department of Public Health.  It's important for us to not make excuses for why we don't KNOW our sexual health status. I learned that the services they provide are free of charge, and you can find locations for STI testing sites in your area with a simple online search. There are...

Nanette returns to us to share how group support helped Nanette make the connection that birthed ProjectAccept.org in addition to various social media interest groups for people living with herpes. Nanette talks a little about how contracting herpes helped with her bedside manners interacting with patients. There's a ton of inaccurate or inconsistent information available to the public from credible resources but the information is presented in ways to skew statistics. One example is...

ProjectAccept.org Executive Director and Co-Founder, Nanette Tincher shares her own experience living with HSV up here and down there. We talk about her personal experience on this episode. She contracted HSV-1 (cold sores) willingly after kissing a partner who had an active, visible cold sore on the mouth. For many years she went on not realizing it was herpes until she educated herself. After contracting genital HSV-2 at age 42 unwillingly, she shares that she had such a completely...

This episode doesn't have a guest. I write every so often to sort through thoughts and emotions so I know how to deal with them as they come up again in the future. This episode, I thought about Cake. . . metaphorically. "You can't have your cake and eat it too." is my least favorite proverb hands down. Why have cake you can't eat!? Well, because limits were placed on your mind by society telling you that statement makes sense the way it's phrased. More accurately one would say,  "When one...

This episode of Something Positive for Positive People features Dr. Matthew Bruckel, President, Founder and CEO of Total Access Urgent Care. Bio at the bottom. I reached out to some social groups for some good questions to ask a doctor about herpes. Something Positive for Positive People is evolving into more than a safe place for people living with herpes to share their experience and more than a place for newly diagnosed people to find hope through the insights of others. People like Dr....

In honor of STI awareness month, we're releasing every episode as they are recorded. This episode features my friend Brynn, one of the first friends I disclosed to that I have herpes. Her deer in the headlights facial expression was misinterpreted for being surprised at my disclosure. After finally revising that day recently after deciding to record this episode together, it was in fact because of the moment of WHEN I decided to disclose to her. This disclosure was done out of a few different...

Our guest for this episode is Emily Depasse, 25 year old Yogi, lifter, model, blogger, paralegal and MSW/MEd Human Sexuality graduate student living with genital hsv-2. Upon diagnosis 2 1/2 years prior to this recording, Emily wondered who would love her as many of us do at some point upon our diagnosis. Her will to persevere was depleting, she felt alone and did what many of us do in this emotional state, turn to a distraction. In her case it was alcohol and supportive, yet unhealthy...

I often tell people how important it is that we not identify with our herpes diagnosis ONLY for me to look up and realize I've been doing this very thing myself. On today's episode, I speak to changing this, and what it looks like for you to change it as well. If you struggle with herpes stigma and want different for yourself, check out Something Positive for Positive People for resources to help you through the emotional and psychological impacts that come with a diagnosis.

The majority of this episode, we discussed the secret communities/groups that can be found on social media for individuals living with hpv/hsv. We talk about the good and bad of these communities and how they relate to the stigma. (I immersed myself into these and found myself through this, but everyone is different as you’ll hear in this episode) “I have herpes and I don’t know if you’re worth taking the risk…” Paraphrasing this as a phenomenal means of disclosure. When you establish...

Dr. Allison Mathews represents 2BeatHIV which is a research project based at UNC’s Institute for Global Health and Infectious Disease and Department of Social Medicine. We are part of a 5 year, NIH funded grant called searcHIV, focused on examining the social and ethical aspects of research on curing HIV. 2BeatHIV is working to find ways to improve community engagement around HIV cure research. 2BeatHIV wants people to be involved and gain a sense of ownership over the future of HIV cure....

This is such a beautiful full-circle moment. I interview Lindsey, who I met early on after starting the podcast and we talked about an upcoming disclosure she had with someone she liked. We lost contact and then a few years later, I opened my Facebook and saw this person I recognized but wasn't exactly sure how, had just gotten married. I went to our messages and saw our last correspondence was about a disclosure so I asked "Hey is this the guy?" and that turned into the discussion we're...

Join us in this enlightening episode of "Something Positive for Positive People," where we sit down with Dr. Nazanin Moali, renowned clinical psychologist and host of the Sexology Podcast. Dr. Moali brings her deep insights into the mental health challenges and dating dynamics faced by individuals living with herpes. Through her expert lens, we explore the profound effects of STI stigma, offering both understanding and evidence-based strategies to navigate these complex emotional landscapes....

We had a great time! Be on the lookout for upcoming events regarding men's emotional wellness at www.getselfed.org.

Here we answer the question about disclosing in nonmonogamy.

If you missed the conference, you’ll be able to view the recordings for purchase here: https://spfpp.org/conferences but here’s a podcast recapping the conference and going a little into what you may have missed. If you attend, please come back to the conference feedback form to give us feedback on how we can continue to improve not only this conference but also future data and events moving forward as we strive to minimize stigma!

In episode 336 of Something Positive for Positive People, titled "Disclosing for a Lover," we delve into the complex dynamics of non-monogamous relationships where herpes is present. This discussion explores how individuals can ethically disclose their partner’s herpes status to new potential partners, ensuring privacy and respect are maintained. We unpack the challenges of navigating such disclosures without outing the person they represent, offering practical advice and insights for...

In this episode, we dive into the emotionally charged question: 'Who gave me herpes?' We'll explore the complexities behind this inquiry, not just in terms of identifying a source but understanding the deeper emotional undercurrents it unleashes. Join us as we discuss how navigating these feelings can lead to personal growth and healing, beyond the stigma and initial anger. Discover practical steps for embracing your emotions and turning a situation of blame into one of empowerment and...

I promise I'll start getting back to the interviews rather than talking about my trials and tribulations of my one off herpes experience haha. But seriously today I wanted to just share what my intention is with SPFPP and that's to Create community through this common unity. Herpes does not have a cure as of today, and I wish for people to not live their life in anticipation for one. I had every intention of exclusively talking about Letting Go this podcast episode and while some examples...

You asked about how you can help SPFPP expand well here it is! I believe we've found ourselves the best way to minimize stigma by directly going to the educators and STD/STI prevention workers. They're the ones with the credibility and just need to understand where we're coming from with our experiences with stigma. Perhaps equipping them with our resources will create the shift we need. Here my ask is just to tap into your networks and let me know how I can offer these organizations the...

I’m really feeling gratitude for all the support since dropping last week’s podcast episode. This episode, I share about Letting Go of fear from a personal experience. I value connection and recognize that I had some emotions that, while I’m teaching others how to Let Go, I myself hadn’t fully let go of myself. I’ve come to realize I do in fact have a fear of success. This came up over the weeks I didn’t record another podcast episode because I was actively pursuing funding for SPFPP. It is...