Hey! ♥️
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“So I’ve been listening to your podcast for a few weeks now and I’ve almost listened to them all and some even two or three times. I feel so blessed to have found your podcast just at the right time and I know God wants me to truly listen and take it all in.
My husband and I have been married for almost ten years and we have three kids. We are truly best friends and we are happy for the most part. We have one recurring issue and fight that happens that I just can’t seem to figure out. It’s not him, it’s me. He provides for us, gives me grace when I need it and makes sure I’m happy and we’re all taken care of. I honestly don’t deserve him. I have a tendency to be selfish and lazy. I’ve finally gotten our home in order after many years of battling. He was always having to step over toys on the way in the door from work and looking through the dryer or clothes hamper for work clothes in the morning and there was always clothes and crap everywhere that we could barely get into bed. I really let the enemy get a hold of me and rob me of being a good wife and homemaker. I’m done with being lazy and procrastinating and I pray to God I can stick with the changes I’ve made to please my family. My husband has thanked me and said how good the apartment looks and that he loves getting into a made bed now. Do you have any tips or things that come to mind that can help me stay on track?
As far as the bedroom I will send him texts during the day of sexy time at night and then not follow through. I use excuses for myself like “well he gets it more then most men nowadays so he should be satisfied with what we do”. Normally we try for three times a week but lately I’ve let 7 days go by. Which for him is a lifetime.
He’s told me the ball is in my court and I have to be the one that makes it happen by showing signs that I’m into at night. When I go shower right after my daughter falls asleep he’s said is the best way to let him know it’s happening. I don’t know why sometimes I just sit there relaxing and don’t make that move. It’s hard for me because a couple hours before we are supposed to have sex he doesn’t really show me he wants it. At this point I know he’s sitting back waiting to see what I’ll do. I’ve told him I need more affection during the day and he’s been trying but I need more right before it happens but he’s so hurt and been let down time and time again I feel like he doesn’t want to put himself out there anymore until maybe I’ve healed us of that? but I still have let him down when it comes to the night time and the kids are in bed. I’ll get tired sitting on the cough or my 2 year old stays up too late and it ends up not happening. He will be distant and cold for several days after that. Which I don’t blame him. I’ve done it so often now that I’m starting to wonder what the heck is wrong with me. I do find him very attractive and he deserves all my love and affection. I just can’t figure out why I keep doing this.
He’s told me he needs sex often and I want to honor that for him. I feel bad even admitting that I’m the problem because every time we have sex he makes sure I have an orgasm, if not multiple. When we have sex it is really good and sexy. He wants me to let go even and be free and I have a wall up even still. I can get passionate and be into it but in my mind I’m thinking he just wants me to be a porn star or do things I don’t really like. We’ve tried almost everything and I like a lot of it but I have a hard time separating my sex life with what God would be happy with. My two ex boyfriends that I did have sex with in my early twenties before I met him is a problem even still for my husband. I made the mistake of telling him a lot of details regarding sexual stuff with my ex’s when we first met so now I feel like he feels like I owe him to do over and beyond for him because I “tried and didn’t like I might add” certain things with them. I wish with all that’s in me that I would have waited before marriage but I didn’t. I want him to stop feeling like I’m my ex’s girl and that I’m fully his wife. He’s said before that it seems like I was better to them then I am to him. There was abuse in one of those relationships and I’ve tried to tell my husband that but he doesn’t seem to let that sink in. I’ve told him I wasn’t ok mentally and I’m not the same person I was then and he should want to woman I am today. My dad passed away when I was 12. My mom did the best she could but she couldn’t stop me from being with the guy I was with in high school and he caused a lot of sexual trauma for me. I’ve never actually admitted that until now. I just need God to make a huge change in me, heal me and our marriage. I know we can be an unstoppable force for the kingdom of God. I’m so glad because my husband has been praying more and giving God glory and grace when things so well and I feel like spiritually we are on a good path. I just want to make him happy and for us to be more connected then ever. You saying in your podcasts just to be free for him in the bedroom has helped me a lot. Yesterday I listened to your makeup sex podcast and last night we did in fact have makeup sex and it was very hot but I feel like it’s just a bandage for my husband and he’s not convinced things will change. I want to keep them momentum going and to never let him down again. I want to make sure he leaves the house pleased and feels lucky to have me as a wife.
I apologize for the very long message. I just wanted to reach out and also say thank you for talking about sex in marriage. It’s needed in our Christian world and you’ve done so much to help me and so many. Thank you! You’re amazing and God is so good ♥️”
serrrraaaaahhhhh via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
05/21/21
More reviews of Spiced Wife
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“Spiced Wife is God sent! The topics and godly advice given has helped me in different aspects of my life!! Wives need this content and place of discussion as a place of openness and transparency! I’m grateful for this podcast!!”
goldenj1 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
10/10/19
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“God met me right where I was at in life with this podcast. She teaches women/wives how to love their husband the godly way. How to handle issues within your marriage. And how to be sexy all in keeping God first. I wish I had this podcast before getting married. What a blessing it is to have it.”
alviy via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
01/05/20
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“Ashlyn is super transparent and truly hearing from the Lord to help us as women understand how God wants us to enjoy or husbands, sex, and being godly women. I HIGHLY recommend this podcast ladies! I’ve seen some much breakthrough and freedom in my sex life, relationship with God, and marriage....”Read full review »
Anjoli4 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
03/25/19
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