Natasha Devon, MBE, joined me on the Teenage Kicks podcast to talk about something most parents of girls will be all too familiar with - friendship issues. Teenage girls don't grow out of problems with their friends as early as we'd like them to, but they do grow out of us being able to fix fallouts for them with a playdate or a sleepover. Put simply, when they're teenagers, it gets even messier. Add social media, and the permanent ability to stay connected via Snapchat and Whatsapp, and our teenage daughters need a lot of resilience to navigate the sometimes destructive arena of their social lives.
Writer, presenter and activist, Natasha tours schools in the UK and beyond, delivering talks and conducting research on mental health, body image, gender and equality. From her experiences of what teenage girls talk about with her, she's written a YA novel which examines friendship problems in the context of coercive control. Toxic* is a brilliant read for teenage girls and parents alike, and food for thought for girls struggling to know how to approach friendships that feel a bit rocky at times. (*Affiliate link.)
What interested me most was that the 'toxic' character in the story wasn't a bad person; she just had her own insecurities and fears that led her to unhealthy coping mechanisms with her friends. Natasha says that was deliberate. In her work with teenagers she sees the fragility behind the bravado, and understands that none of our teenagers are really equipped with the emotional maturity to empathise and support each other.
In this episode Natasha explains that, and offers some tips for how to help our daughters navigate their friendships when they're not going as well as they could be.
Who is Natasha Devon, MBE?
Natasha presents on LBC (one of Britain’s most popular speech radio stations) every Saturday, and writes regularly for newspapers and magazines.
In her charity work Natasha supports people coping with anxiety disorders, online abuse, eating disorders, and talks regularly about gender issues, all of which – as we know – affect all of our teenagers to some extent throughout their young adult years.
Author of titles like A beginner’s Guide to being Mental and You can Ace School Without Losing Your Mind, Natasha speaks directly to young people.
Find out more about Natasha on her website, natashadevon.com and follow her on Instagram.
More teenage parenting from Helen Wills:
Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy, a resource for midlife parents of teens.
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There are already stories from fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent, becoming a young carer, and being hospitalised with mental health problems - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives.
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Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.
Podcast produced by James Ede at Be Heard production.