Who better to talk to about headers than the man who has the Guinness World Record for the most headed goals in Premier League history? Except maybe that isn’t a world record, and maybe everything we knew about headers was wrong, and all our assumptions about Cristiano Ronaldo are wrong too, as well as our protocols on when to wink and when not to wink, and what it means to only be invited to the evening part of a wedding. It’s that sort of episode.