Key Points The king/queen of unforgiveness is the only unwanted ruler that can cause hatred in your heart.  The Greek word, aphesis (ἄφεσις), is used when referring to forgiveness more than 40 times in the New Testament. It means to send the obligation of debt away. To not work towards forgiveness is a sin. The first step to forgive someone is to count the cost: acknowledge the hurt, the injustice, and the loss. Do not try to forget it. The second step is to identify the wrongdoing as the sin of another sinner. Do not judge them any differently than God would judge you for your own sin. The third step is to release them from the obligation to pay the debt and absorb the cost, just like Jesus did to forgive yours. Imagine releasing them from the choke hold of your hate. The fourth step is to aim for reconciliation if/when possible. This is what Jesus did and continues to do for us after forgiveness occurs. Discussion Have you experienced a journey of unforgiveness? Please share. How would you help others when they are stuck in unforgiveness? Explain what it means to absorb the debt. Pray for those who are struggling to forgive. "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." - C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: HarperOne, 2001), 125.