Content warning: In this episode we talk about sexual assault.  Young Amanda struggled with social skills and felt like partying was not for her, but as she reached the end of high school she started getting attention from boys, and she wondered… could partying be enjoyable? Her first drink felt like a revelation - socializing felt so much easier.  After college and a couple of rough breakups, Amanda found herself lonely and without a social circle, so she leaned into the party scene with her coworkers. What resulted was a traumatic situation where she became the victim of sexual assault and stalking at the hands of a senior coworker. Feeling panicked and like she needed to flee, she followed a new boyfriend when he moved for work. Amanda found herself unable to face the trauma she had endured, and she began to turn to wine at home to cope. In the years that followed, Amanda got a new job, got married and started having children - but the sense that something was very wrong did not go away. She began to suffer from immense shame. It felt like she wasn’t just failing herself, she was also now failing her family.  Amanda began to worry about her drinking, but she thought she was just drinking ‘wrong’. She set up a strict set of moderation rules, and she stuck to them, but the shame continued to mount all the same. Her mental health continued to spiral until one day she became afraid for her safety, and at that moment she knew that she had to be done. That day, Amanda signed up for the Cafe and internally committed to 100 days of sobriety. 100 days became a year, and as she neared a year she realized she was ready for her sobriety to be permanent!  Sobriety has allowed Amanda the space to face her trauma. She is so grateful to the Cafe for giving her invaluable community support. She wants you to know: If you have anxiety, give yourself a few months without alcohol to see how that helps. It can make a world of difference!  Try our NEW and IMPROVED Cafe FREE for a week!  We have more meetings, more hosts and even more connection. Join here for $40/month and get a week free! In addition to daily peer support meetings, you’ll get access to the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, merch discounts and so much more. We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here: https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices