“You broke me out of horrible imprisoning messages. You gave me permission to believe instead that:
Women have the right to decide things, have a voice and set boundaries in marriage.
Women have the right to have sex in a way that’s enjoyable for her and say no to sex acts that she doesn’t enjoy, or say no when she doesn’t have it in her to be intimate or aroused.
Women are not responsible for men’s lust.
And, you were the FIRST PLACE to describe what porn did to my brain as a woman, and offer things to do to retrain the brain. I still haven’t managed to make what feels like any progress, my husband is still learning to live with the boundaries of not getting oral whenever he wants, all the time, he’s still struggling with enough foreplay, and oh hey I had our 6th baby a month ago. 😂 so I’m struggling with progressing as quickly as I want. Instead my libido feels dead and I want to be left alone. But again, my husband is a baby believer. He’s legitimately working on never being tempted by porn again. He’s trying to quit drinking to excess, he has a hard manual labor job and I am homeschooling 6 kids, one month post partum. This is the first time I’ve ever lost my libido, but I had my first four kids with an abusive narcissist drug addict. Soooo....unhealthy physical only fantasy driven sex was a go to comfort for me for the first 10 years of adulthood. I’m safe now. I think I’ve lost my libido in part because my body knows it’s safe to do so. My emotions are tied up because my parents are toxic and I’m stepping back from them and my husband is working on things I set boundaries with.
So much is going on physically emotionally spiritually and mentally for me. And some of it got kick started by your podcast. Radical permission to respect myself in many different ways. So I think this is a phase.
And I greatly appreciate the things you say that no one ever told me!”
Carolhelton via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
04/19/20