It's spaghetti bolognese night at the Johnson household again, except a new ingredient has been added to the menu... No one prepares you for this when you become a parent.  Matt also has a new trick up his sleeve to make Lola love him, inspired by Pavlov's dog.  After a wild night at the Blink 182 concert, Ash realises that he can no longer handle hangovers like he used to in his pre-parenting days. We share your best Toddler Meltdown stories and have a crack at answering your listener...

How much are you willing to spend on a fruit salad platter? Last weekend, Lola turned the big three.  When it rains, it pours, leaving poor Lola afraid that no one will turn up to her party, but even Ash makes the trek. Matt may have left the catering at the last minute and may have also spent waaay too much on a fruit platter.  Ash is dealing with a gremlin child who crawls into Mum and Dad's bed every night. Oscar has somehow managed to smuggle a foreign crunchy object into the bed that...

The plan for today's ep definitely wasn't to talk about shit nonstop.. but here we are. Apologies ! Macy is in the running for a world record for largest poop (based on poop to body weight ratio). There's actually a semi blurred image that we'll put on socials if you're brave enough to look. No judgment. Ash had a little shart incident over the weekend, which (credit to him) hasn't happened in a little while. Thoughts and prayers to his Uber driver. Matt and Laura took the kids to a great...

Our first bonus ep for 2024 and first doting mum on the pod! Sorry to make you all wait so bloody long for this ep featuring the one and only Amy Gerrard - but here she is. Amy is a hilarious pod host, writer entrepreneur, mum to three beautiful kids and wife to a hunk of a husband. We chat about life before kids, dating, how she new her husband was 'the one', the reality of parenthood, tips for dads, juggling three kids and plans for the future. Follow @twodotingdads on Instagram here. Or...

Ash has reached his Facebook marketplace limit - he now flat out refuses to have any involvement with his wife's transactions. He's even gone as far as locking himself in the toilet when he hears a buyer knock on the door. Good news is April's never made more money flogging off their old furniture. One of Matt's mottos when it comes to parenting is 'always follow the path of least resistance'. Over the weekend, this path led him down to his local cafe with Lola who brought along a slightly...

We start this episode with an update regarding Lola's hatred of her dad - the poor, desperate, lonely Matty J. You know which dad has kids that don't hate him - Ash. It might be because he's an all-round great guy or maybe it's the fact that he's saved his kids countless times from the ferocious animals that reside in Warriewood (geckos). Also worth noting that he caught and released a mouse during the week. Doctor Dolittle eat ya heart out. Matt found himself in an awkward situation at the...

We're bloody lucky to be releasing this ep today - whilst Ash was mid-jog through the lovely streets of Warriewood, he was approached and threatened by none other than... Mr Freeze himself !!! Luckily he runs like the wind and survived to tell the tale. Ash has also found a New Years resolution list that is arguably one of the world's best. Matt has moved into the bach pad (spare room downstairs) after Laura contracted mild pneumonia and a horrendous cough. Dont worry.. after many sleepless...

WE'RE BACK BABY ! Matt's transition into Ash has continued as he realised that Christmas is actually the most stressful time of the year and he's happy to see the back of it. The fact that he and Laura decided to remove Lola's dummy during this month might have had something to do with it. For reference, it's going terribly. As you can imagine, Ash had a lovely time with his extended family during Christmas. As he always says - the more family, the better! Nan had nothing but praise in...

It's our last ep of the year! Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened. But fear not, we'll be back in Jan with more parenting tales. In today's ep, Matt has been struggling with Lola who has had her dummies ripped from her life. They took the cold turkey approach, which went down like a lead ballon. Ash has had another run in with a mouth salesman (dentist) who tried to sell in a crown for Oscar. Not on Ash's watch! Just when Matt thought the meltdowns were ending, a lovely...

Lots to get through in this ep - she's bloody jammed packed! Firstly, Ash's haemorrhoids are back and he's shittng out leaves. We've launched the world's (unofficial) sexiest calendar - Choreplay 2024. Entering the calendar industry hasn't been smooth sailing e.g we left it bloody late to get them printed before Christmas, printed prices are at an all time high and being sexy for 12 photos is exhausting. Good news is that there's still a few left online if you want to be slightly...

It's another bonus ep. And we know what you're thinking. Shit, these boys dish out more bonus eps than Ash gets haemorrhoids. You're absolutely right. And for that we say, you're welcome. Today we sit down with radio star, comedian and tv host - Nick Cody. We chat about how he accidentally became the nanny of two kids when he was a teenager, disciplining American kids at summer camp, why he thought he'd never be a dad, the nightmare of juggling a new born and morning radio, why he got off...

We kick off this episode with an update on Mr Freeze - unfortunately he didn't like the idea of the family home being sold so he decided to ward off potential buyers at the open house with a samurai sword. Stay tuned for more details. Turns out Marlie still needs a bit of practice as mum - she took her baby doll down to the beach and drowned her in front of other shocked parents. Remind Matt never to take lifelike dolls down to the beach again. April had a session with the girlies on the...

Would you believe it - we've got international !? Well.. not us, our guests. Today's bonus ep features social media sensation, comedian, singer, actor and doting dad. Trey Kennedy ! We chat about the worst thing to happen to him in high school, blowing on on social media, texting Shawn Mendes, turning social media into a fully fledged career, birth plans in America, brining the fam out to Australia and the struggles on adjusting to life with a new born. Get tickets to Trey's stand up show,...

Ash has just returned from a relaxing little weekend away with some families from his mother's group. Whilst he was on the s*****r, he noticed a strange note on the door in front of him. Turns out, the house they were staying out was stricter than a nun's convent. The most important rule? Never talk about the rules on a parenting podcast, which Ash was happy to break. Matt also had a weekend away, however something happened that shook him to his core. He was out-daded by another dad. Both...

Macy (Ash's daughter) had her birthday over the weekend and Ash managed to tick off another year without throwing her a bday party. How I hear you gasp? All will be revealed in this ep. Matt had to deal with the tantrum of the century the other day, which was off the back of Marlie being told she wasn't a twin with Lola, they were just sisters. When he wasn't managing tantrums, he was dealing with Lola eating her bodyweight in lollies that hidden in the pantry. Joys of life with...

Daycare - what the hell would we do without this glorious organisation that helps give parents all across the world their weekly relief? Although, as much as we love her, she's not without her pains. Matt has to battle tantrums, tears and parking inspectors just to make it to his drop off (what a hero). Ash has to deal with his kids guilting the hell out of him - those cunning little gremlins will even cry fake tears with their faces pushed up against the fence railing in the hope that they...

There is a lot of stigma attached to depression and anxiety amongst aussie men, despite 1 in 5 battling these illnesses in their lifetime. In this episode, Ash talks through his mental health journey - starting from adjusting to life as a new dad, realising he had a problem, seeking professional help and maintaining his health. A huge thanks to Ash for agreeing to share his story - we hope that it helps anyone out there who is also dealing with their own mental health journey. If you're...

Matt has returned back to Sydney after travelling with Laura and the kids to Canberra and Brisbane for the final two Life Uncut live shows. Three nights with two kids crammed into one bedroom was nothing but joyous and relaxing. Who wouldn't want to spend the night in a piss stained cot (Matt not the kids). Matt also got pink eye, they airline lost one of their bags and Laura got covid. Ash is sounding a little under the weather after his mum house-sat a cat infested apartment over the...

Matt and Ash have very differing views on how to deal with a stubborn toddler. It's off the back of a run in Matt had with a stubborn toddler in the local library - they wouldn't give up their spot on the interactive screen and Matt's soft touch had zero impact. We share your best Ordinary Parenting stories as well as have a crack at answering your listener questions: How to tell if your kid is ready for school / kindy How to find your fellow dad tribes as a new dad? Follow @twodotingdads...

Would you bloody believe it, we've manage to lock down Anthony Field a.k.a the Blue Wiggle for a chat. Anthony has lived one hell of a life - 3 years in the army, accidentally falling into a career in early education and then helping create one of the most prolific music groups of all time. The Wiggles have knocked up 30 million combined sales in CDs and DVDs and released 12 platinum albums since their formation in 1991. In addition to this, Anthony is also a great dad to three beautiful...

Ash is back and we're not sick any more - actually, that's a lie because Ash has a strong case of spitty bum post Bali. He shares his highs and lows from the trip, which includes trying to get 4 kids to sleep-over in the one room so the the Dads can keep hanging out and enduring long haul flights with toddlers. Matt's discovered the hardest part of parenting girls - having to do their hair in the morning. He also had an incident with Marlie where a midnight nose-picking session has caused...

Ash's body continues to battle ailments - just after he was starting to get over his cold, his haemorrhoids have begun to flair up. Fingers crossed he'll be back to full health in no time (don't hold your breathe). Matt's having a tough week with Laura on the road with her Live Show tour - he's had to take on the bulk of the domestic duties but after getting the horns one night (whilst Laura worked late) he needed to air out his frustrations. Budgy Smuggler's Ordinary Parent segment is back...

Today's ep is a little different - Ash has taken a few weeks off to frolic around Bali with the fam. Before he left, we recorded a very special episode with Matt's mum who happened to be in town. Ellie Johnson is a proud mum of five kids. We spoke about whether or not she planned to have such a big family, the hardest phase of parenting, what Matt was like as a teenager, the real story behind Matt's circumcision, what she thought of Laura on the Bachelor and her secret to looking so bloody...

Would you bloody believe it.. Ash Wicks aka The Cat has landed on his feet once again. At the 11th hour on Sunday morning he managed to get a ticket to the NRL grand final alongside Matty J. It wasn't without its ups and downs - the lads battled flu (apologise for the slight husk today), premature ejaculation at the sight of Reece Walsh, Anthony Albanese's security team and a last minute Broncos loss that still rattles Matty J. In parenting news, Ash has found a discipline style that finally...

Matt gives an update on his week without Laura (she's been working in Bali). Highlights include stealing his mum who was in town to help his sister move house, finally figuring out how to hold his daughters when they bush-wee and not interrupting his kids when they slept on the floor. What a doting dad! Ash had a dads weekend down the coast with the partners from his mother's group. Plans to enjoy fishing, jetskiing and the beach were soon replaced with a day session at the pub. Only issue...