How can we empower our kids to cope with negative feelings without our help? Here's why disappointment is an important part of childhood and how to build scaffolding for their emotional regulation. Amy and Margaret discuss: How the purpose of having children has changed over the last century Why disappointment is developmentally important How to be a guide, not a fixer, for our kids Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jim Taylor for Psychology Today:...

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour This Deep Dive series is titled "Things We've Learned After Doing This Motherhood Thing for a While." Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify. What did adulthood mean to you when you were growing up? Staying up late? Doing algebra every day? Stopping, dropping, and rolling...

Kids sometimes lose their cool, and it can be easy to lose ours while trying to help them. Carla Naumburg, author of the new book HOW TO STOP FREAKING OUT, discusses why kids freak out, how we can help them, and how we as parents can keep our cool. Carla Naumburg is a clinical social worker, and a mother. She’s the author of four non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids, as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. Carla and Amy...

So many of us spend hours chauffeuring our kids back and forth to their myriad activities. Why are kids so overloaded with activities these days, and can we get off of this ride? Here are some parenting strategies for navigating this issue. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why kids are so overscheduled these days How overscheduling really affects kids, beyond the mom guilt-inducing headlines What questions to ask when assessing if our kids are overscheduled Here are links to some of the...

This month's Deep Dive series is about flouting parenting rules and advice that don't work for us. Listen to a Spotify playlist of all the episodes in the series here. Who makes the parenting rules? And how bendable are they? From picky eaters to sleep routines to playing outside, we all have to navigate the line between what we supposedly should and shouldn't allow as parents. But sometimes it's okay to break the rules if it works for you and your family. Amy and Margaret dive into the...

How do we raise our daughters to feel empowered, rather than helpless, in the face of gender bias? Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD, author of the new book SEXISM AND SENSIBILITY, offers parenting tips to prepare our girls for the modern world. Dr. Finkelstein, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The limits of the "girl power" line of thinking How to teach girls what is and isn't in their control when it comes to sexism How to recognize and combat sexism in our own parenting Here's where you can find...

Why do formerly-sunny kids turn overnight into little tornadoes of defiance and aggression? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group: My four-year-old daughter has recently developed a special, defiant, boundary-testing, aggressive version of herself that she saves only for me. I can’t make sense of it at all. WFH, send help! In this episode, we explain why these sudden onsets of periods of dysregulation are completely normal almost every kid will go through this—and a lot of...

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.  Getting-ready playlists? Choosing outfits the night before? Bringing snacks to the pickup line? We asked our audience about their favorite back-to-school tips... and we also allowed some venting about back-to-school...

Today we’re sharing an episode from another parenting podcast we think our listeners will really appreciate. It’s called “In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently.” This podcast offers perspective, stories, and useful takeaways for parents of kids with challenges in reading, math, focus, and other learning differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. This is an episode called "After the Diagnosis: How Kids Feel About Their Learning and Thinking Differences." To listen to more episodes, search for...

How can we talk about America’s ongoing legacy of racism without sliding into despair? In his new memoir HOW FAR TO THE PROMISED LAND, Esau McCaulley tells his own story—and questions why Black failure is judged collectively, while Black success is perceived as the merit of an individual. Rev. Esau McCaulley, PhD, is an author and associate professor of New Testament at Wheaton College. His work has been published in The New York Times, The Atlantic, the Washington Post, and Christianity...

We've all been there: our kid asks us what heaven is like, and whether dogs can go there too. Or why some people are homeless. Or why that person over there doesn't look like other people. Sometimes we rush to smooth things over, or chastise them for what is probably honest curiosity. Other times we overexplain, answering with a confusing lecture when what they really wanted was reassurance. In this episode, we talk about how to find the best balance. Here are links to some of the resources...

This month's Deep Dive series is about flouting parenting rules and advice that don't work for us. Listen to a Spotify playlist of all the episodes in the series here. We asked our listeners to tell us all the things that others might call crazy but which totally work for them. From packing the laundry to eating the same lunch every day for five years to toothbrushes in the kitchen, these are the ideas that don't sound so crazy, come to think of it. Following us on Instagram? Join the fun!...

The task of feeding kids "the right foods" can give parents a lot of anxiety. Jill Castle, author of the new book KIDS THRIVE AT EVERY SIZE, explains how we can set our kids up with healthy eating habits they'll maintain for life. Jill Castle is a pediatric dietitian and childhood nutritionist, founder of The Nourished Child®, and the host of the Nourished Child podcast. In this interview, Jill and Margaret discuss: The 8 Pillars of Wellness: Family Culture, Sleep, Movement, Feeding, Eating,...

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour We asked our listeners for their randomest, most tenuous claims to fame, and as usual, they delivered. Whether it's first place in a two-person pie-eating contest, or dating someone just four degrees removed from the Real Housewives of New Jersey, here are their stories. Join...

This month's Deep Dive series is about flouting parenting rules and advice that don't work for us. Listen to a Spotify playlist of all the episodes in the series here. Are you a rule breaker or a rule follower? Are you married to your opposite? We're both rule followers, and when one builds a life with someone who sees the "NO DOGS IN THE LAKE" sign as an invitation to let the golden retriever go for a swim, one is caught between two bad choices: swallow the horrible anxiety that others...

Judith Warner’s book AND THEN THEY STOPPED TALKING TO ME: MAKING SENSE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL investigates what can be a truly painful period in any adolescent's life. Warner explains that our "personal fable" is deeply affected by our own experiences during that developmental period, even if our memories may rely on flawed or incomplete information. That matters because it can affect how we parent our tweens as they enter the middle school stage themselves. Are parents sometimes inadvertently...

Every kid is afraid of something. Sometimes their fears make sense; sometimes their extreme anxiety over every ant that crosses their path can seem a little excessive. But our job isn't to make sure our kids never see ants; our job is to help them learn to navigate those feelings on their own. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Why kids facing their fears is an appropriate part of their emotional development Why just our presence, when they're feeling fear, can be a great...

This month's Deep Dive series is about setting aside the parenting rules and advice that just don't work for us. Listen to a Spotify playlist of all the episodes in the series here. As soon as you become a mother, unsolicited advice-givers are everywhere, telling you to “sleep when the baby sleeps.” Or “it gets easier.” Or “enjoy every moment.” Out of all the advice (parenting and otherwise) that we and our listeners have ever received, here is a selection of the very worst. What Fresh Hell...

You hear that parenting teens is a wild ride. But as Amy Betters-Midtvedt, author of the new book YOU'LL MAKE IT (AND THEY WILL TOO), says, it can also be baffling: “So much weirdness comes when they go back-and-forth between staying their old selves and becoming their new ones. Conflict will suddenly flow out of nowhere over nothing.” But you'll make it. And they will too. Amy Betters-Midtvedt is a Today Parenting contributing author with more than a million readers and twenty-five years of...

It's easy to compare our parenting—often as measured by our kids' achievements—with their peers' achievements. As in, how other parents might be doing it better. This week, we're talking parenting tips for resisting “mompetition”— and how we can use comparison to create healthy perspectives instead of "compare and despair." Amy and Margaret discuss: Why competition is a biological imperative The effects of social media and other societal forces on parenting How to know if we're putting too...

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. It's hard to admit things aren't perfect. It's especially hard for moms. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett described three types of perfectionism in the 1990s: self-directed (I must be a size 2), others-directed (do that piano exercise again until you get it right), and "socially mediated"...

We know climate change affects not only our children's health but their future. So what can we as individuals do? Debra Hendrickson is a board-certified pediatrician practicing in Reno, Nevada, and a Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Nevada School of Medicine. She is also the author of the author of the new book THE AIR THEY BREATHE: A PEDIATRICIAN ON THE FRONT LINES OF CLIMATE CHANGE. In this interview, Margaret and Debra discuss: How climate change is affecting the...

What are the best things about having closely spaced siblings? What about farther apart? Siblings' closeness, amount of conflict, and relationships as adults are all affected by the age differences between them. In this episode, the listeners with closely spaced children tell us why that has worked for them (constant playmates) and not (constant bickering), while those with kids with larger age differences point to the unexpected connections that can still result. Here are links to some of...

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. Having the same fight doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. But it is totally annoying. In this episode we discuss the modes of negativity at play when we repeat the same conflicts- and what we can do to break the cycle, whether it’s our partners or kids. Conflict may be unavoidable- but it can be at least...

Do you and your partner find yourselves talking past each other when arguing? Erin and Stephen Mitchell, authors of the new book TOO TIRED TO FIGHT, discuss how parenting can impact relationships (including their own!) and strategies to manage conflict and stay connected.  Erin and Stephen Mitchell are the cofounders of Couples Counseling for Parents, a company focused on providing access to research-informed, psychologically sound online education for couples. Amy, Erin, and Stephen...