Kevin Marshall tells Catriona about how the birth of his son convinced him to write a book, specifically for parents in the black community, about how to see the signs of abuse. Kevin talks about how his life turned around after writing a Facebook post which told his friends and loved ones he had been sexually abused as a child. He explains how travelling helps him meet new people and forge relationships he never could when he was younger. If you've been affected by child sexual abuse...

Catriona talks to fellow survivor Kevin Marshall about being abused as a child, and why the taboo of sexual abuse in the black community stopped him from talking about it. Kevin was abused by someone close to his family. The abuse started when he was only five years old, and lasted for four years. But as Kevin explains, his experience influenced all of his future relationships, as he tried to shut himself off to anyone who might get close. In part 1, Kevin talks quite explicitly about...

Nyala tells Catriona about how she struggled to understand her new body after fully transitioning, and the impact that had on coming to terms with her trauma. She talks about what it was like to write a letter to her vagina for a book, titled Written on the Body: Letters from Trans and Non-Binary Survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence. She also talks about how staying inside, eating bad food and watching anime series helps her feel better on those tougher days. If you've...

Catriona talks to Nyala Moon about being raped by a man she was dating, who attempted to force her into sex work. Nyala is a trans woman and she started transitioning when she was a teenager. She talks about how the prejudice that trans people often face stopped her from reporting the incident to the authorities, or even telling friends what had happened. She also talks about a separate incident, when she was assaulted by an intimate partner, and why she used this narrative to produce a...

Winnie M Li tells Catriona about how writing a novel helped her cope with her trauma. Called Dark Chapter, Winnie’s novel retells what happened when she was raped in 2008. It also takes the unique perspective of both the survivor and the perpetrator and explores how the assault affects the lives of both. Winnie talks about how she struggled to reclaim the things she loves doing, like travelling and hiking. But she found that playing the piano helped her when she was at her lowest. She...

Catriona talks to fellow survivor Winnie M Li about what happened when she was raped by a stranger while on a hike in Northern Ireland, and then seeing her rapist convicted. As always, this first part contains details many listeners may find distressing, including the police investigation after she was attacked. If you feel like leaving this part for another time, then head back to the feed to listen to part 2, where we hear how Winnie’s doing now. You can also read more about Winnie’s...

Sabah Kaiser tells Catriona about reconnecting with her mother after years apart, and why she decided to become a voice for survivors in the BAME community. She also talks about the beautifully unique way she copes when she’s feeling overwhelmed or having a bad day. If you've been affected by child sexual abuse or violence, you can find details of organisations in the UK who offer help and support at bbc.co.uk/actionline. Presented by Catriona Morton, After is a 10-part series,...

Catriona talks to fellow survivor Sabah Kaiser about how it felt to be abused as a child and have no one believe her. Sabah grew up in a British-Muslim household. Her parents were originally from Pakistan, but her father died when she was only two years old. Sabah was abused from the age of seven, and despite trying to tell a number of adults around her, she says no one believed her – including her own mother. The abuse Sabah experienced started when she was very young and it’s a...

Melissa tells Catriona how embracing her queerness and learning to enjoy dating again helped her cope in the aftermath of her trauma. Melissa brought a case of rape all the way to court but received a ‘not guilty’ verdict. Melissa isn’t her real name, but in a case like this, we cannot identify the accused for legal reasons. So to keep all parties involved anonymous, she agreed we could use a voice actor to record her half of the conversation . If you've been affected by sexual abuse or...

Catriona talks to fellow survivor Melissa about what happened when she brought a case of rape all the way to court, and received a ‘not-guilty’ verdict. Melissa isn’t her real name, but in a case like this, we cannot identify the accused for legal reasons. Those who know Melissa might recognise her story. So to keep all parties involved anonymous, she agreed we could use a voice actor to record her half of the conversation. This allowed Melissa to talk in detail about how she feels her...

Leo tells Catriona how the BDSM community became a safe space, where they could be open about their experiences of sexual assault. Leo – who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns - isn’t their real name. But for personal reasons they’ve chosen to be anonymous. They talk about learning how to listen to what their body needs, and learning how to ask for help when they’re not OK. They also talk about feeling protected in the BDSM community, which has a system of blacklisting...

Catriona talks to fellow survivor Leo about what happened when they were assaulted on two occasions while exploring BDSM. Leo – who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns – isn’t their real name. But for personal reasons they’ve chosen to be anonymous. Leo talks about the misconceptions people have about consent in the BDSM community and why the fear of being judged or shamed about their sexual desires stopped them from going to anyone for help. In this episode, Leo...

Moya tells Catriona how studying helped her deal with her depression after she survived child sexual abuse. Moya isn’t her real name, but for personal reasons she’s chosen to go anonymous. After watching a series of philosophical videos on YouTube, Moya decided she wanted to learn as much as she could. She went on to earn an undergraduate degree, then a Masters, and she’s now finishing a PhD. Through studying, Moya realized she could depend on her mind even when she felt hatred...

Catriona talks to fellow survivor Moya about what happened when she was groomed and assaulted as a 13-year-old. Like Catriona, it wasn’t until she was in her late teens that Moya realised that what she had gone through was abuse. Moya isn’t her real name, but for personal reasons she’s chosen to go anonymous. Just a warning that in part one, Moya talks in detail about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child aged 13, as well as issues around suicide and complications from an...

Tanaka Mhishi tells Catriona how writing plays about male sexual violence and consent helped him cope after he was raped in 2014. He talks about writing a memoir about his love life after the assault happened and how he navigates his current relationship with his partner. If you've been affected by sexual abuse or violence, you can find details of organisations in the UK who offer help and support at bbc.co.uk/actionline. Presented by Catriona Morton, After is a 10-part series,...

Tanaka Mhishi tells Catriona about what happened when he was raped while on a date a few years ago. Tanaka talks about losing friends after the assault, because they weren’t able to support him when he needed them. This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse directly and the suicidal thoughts and loneliness it can cause. If you don’t feel like listening to details of sexual abuse, you can head straight to the next episode of After, to hear how Tanaka has coped since. If you've...

Alissa Anne Jeun Yi talks to Catriona about her one-woman play, called Love Songs, which she performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2018. During the performance Alissa talked openly about her rape. She tells Catriona about what it’s like to talk to an audience about sexual abuse, while still trying to make them laugh. If you've been affected by sexual abuse or violence, you can find details of organisations in the UK who offer help and support at bbc.co.uk/actionline. ...

Alissa Anne Jeun Yi was raped on a night out while at university a few years ago. Alissa tells Catriona why she found it difficult to understand that what happened to her was rape, even though she was studying law at the time. This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse directly, so if you don’t feel like listening to that now, you can head straight to the next episode of After, to hear how Alissa has coped since. If you've been affected by sexual abuse or violence, you...

Tom Leavesley-Matthews tells Catriona how he copes today after surviving childhood sexual abuse. He talks about what it was like to climb Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for organisations helping survivors of male sexual abuse and how just going for a run helps him clear his mind on difficult days. He also talks about he and his husband’s plans to start a family and his hopes and worries for the future. If you've been affected by child sexual abuse or violence, you can find details of...

Tom Leavesley-Matthews was 11 when he was sexually abused after a period of grooming. It took him many years to realise what had happened to him. But at the age of 29, he went to the police, and his abuser was convicted five years ago. He talks to fellow survivor Catriona about the abuse he experienced and what it was like to report it to the police many years later. He also talks about the long-term loneliness he experienced, particularly after he told his family and friends about what...

Survivor of sexual assault and abuse Catriona Morton talks to fellow survivors about what happened to them and how they cope now.