Some very problematic things
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“To be fair, there are some nuggets of truth in this podcast, but there are still a disproportionate number of problematic things going on with it.
First of all, there seems to be a clear agenda with this podcast. It has lots of religious overtones and a strong anti-porn sentiment. It comes across as the host using the podcast to validate her own experiences and values, which centers herself and not the guests. This is not what effective advocacy looks like. The podcast is really about promoting a specific perspective and worldview.
Second of all, the host is not using definitions of abuse that are universally accepted by professionals in the field, which is very problematic. Not all dysfunction and harm is abuse. Harm is still harm and it’s not okay, but abuse is about one partner systematically using tactics to try and gain and maintain power and control over the other partner. It’s not about isolated incidents of harm, or even ongoing issues of betrayal. Not all porn use is abuse and it is dangerous to conflate the two. That is not to say that porn can’t be used to abuse, or that it’s never harmful. But being betrayed is not necessarily a systematic attempt to dominate the other partner.
Thirdly, there are many instances through the podcast where it is suggested that victims should try and make it work or give their spouse a chance to chance before calling it quits. I understand that sentiment, but if it is truly an abusive relationship then encouraging a victim to stay is DANGEROUS. All attempts should be made to help that victim find their own strength, take back their power and leave the abusive relationship .
Lastly, while domestic violence does disproportionately affect women, anyone can be an abuser and anyone can be a victim. It can happen in non-heterosexual relationships, with queer folks and non-cis gendered folks too.
If you have found a home in this community,
more power to you. But as a trained domestic violence advocate and community educator, I felt the need to point out some of the problematic things about this podcast.”
alittlebitconcerned via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
08/05/20
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