It’s Laurie and Chris. It’s the halting whisper of The Daily. Upstate New York. IGA. Super Valu vs. Super Value vs. Supr Valu. The home of ham salad. An unknown self-quarantine. The murder basement. The NYT. Otterstan. Tiger King. Happy birthday, Laurie! Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.

It’s Laurie and Chris, homebound. Please forgive the audio quality. We’re using USB mics. We’re alive and mostly well for now. Alternate titles: GO FOCACCIA YOURSELF LUNAR FOOTWEAR GALLOPING LESSONS I'M COOKING FOOD REAL-TIME GARBANZO FINDER CHICKPEA AVAILABILITY INDEX RELEASE THE BUTTHOLE CUT WHAT ABOUT PROM BLAINE? THE HOTDOG IS A GAPER A HOTDOG DOWN A HOTDOG'S HALLWAY CHICKPEA PERSONAL MASSAGER A GAME OF DODGEBALL FOR MY JUNK BE KIND, DO GOOD, EAT ASS

It’s a mini-episode! It’s just Laurie and Chris, and that is a blessing to you and your life. Recorded before Christmas, this content is TIMELESS. Topics: Tim, chicken pox, clown mouth, Hustler magazines, and dog pregnancies. All this and what our favo(u)rite Food Network stars do on Jesus’ birthday. Sponsored by: Warby Parker Barkbox Storyworth Follow AJ Spaceman on Twitter. Follow Melk the Band on Instagram.  Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.

Farideh is back with a brand-new cookbook! And it’s the very first episode of #CakeOnes. Buy Farideh and the editors on MUNCHIES’ new cookbook, MUNCHIES Guide to Dinner: How to Feed Yourself and Your Friends!

It's a mini-episode with Laurie and Chris (and a sexy robot voice).

Elazar Sontag is our guest! Topics: No further questions. A halitosis notification service. Julia and Grace. Peppers. Flavors of Oakland. How not to be an a-hole. Serious Eats. Crust Magazine. Paper Candy Gifts. Butt Detective.

It’s Laurie and Chris, with a little Cliss. Topics: JT made HI-CHEW beer and sent chocolate and fig preserves! Chris’ nightstand. Mai sent us paper food! The fish market. Going to the hospital. Dogs and bikes. Mrs. Clark, Chris’ first grade teacher. Hives. Do not blink. A socka fulla blood. A coupon. Saba Jam! A high amount of soft. Do you ever find yourself mad? Summer vegetables. Rold Gold is not Red Gold. The tomato fields of Indiana. A mailed potato. David has a pet named Walter. From...

It’s Laurie and Chris (no Cliss). Topics: Strong Mustard Content. A Rice Krispie Treat is a gift. Texts from family members. No Further Questions. None Pizza Left Beef. Jeremy Renner. Other people’s shoes. Dump and stir. Lemon B******t Cake recipe. Friends of the podcast. My love and your ignorance. What Was This Food Network Episode All About? Walgreens cookout.

It’s just Laurie and Chris this week. Topics: Robot voice. Writing. Cliss’ brother. Beyond Goatse. Gilbert. A finger. Cat steam. Straws. Rat piss. Lots of Likes, Miami edition. JCP. Black and white cookies. Mashups. Todd Bridges. Patty Lupone. A Full Dinty house. We recorded remotely (using a podcasting service we will never use again), and the sound quality isn’t great. We promise future remote eps will have better sound quality. We love you and only want the best for you.

The fantastic Matt and Ted Lee are here to talk about their new book, Hotbox. Topics: Ball of goo. Bucket of kimchi. Alison Roman. These are things that happened. They’re real big. No further questions. Chef cruise. @Crust Magazine @anannadroid @hooleil @john_birdsall @korshawilson. Summer camp storytelling challenge. Laurie’s mom. Fiddlehead ferns. @restofesto @ruckerfoad (JT). The Summit Y. Roasted vegetables. Matt and Ted Lee. I will find you. Assignment: Call in your worst summer camp...

Maggie Hoffman, the original “Hello, Listener” is here with her new book, BATCH COCKTAILS! Topics: Sugar. Lunch but it’s breakfast. Train eating. Totes. Retail Nightmares with Alicia and Jessica. Remix. Pants on the inside. She’s got a deep voice, too. Connie Britton is a treasure. Esoteric HI-CHEW. Burger Rings. Weed City. Sloughed off flesh. Truffles in your underpants. A very brief statement on Peep’s. My favorite book of the Bible. It’s Hello, Listener! Julia Bainbridge’s podcast, The...

Priya Krishna is here to talk about her new cookbook, Indian-ish! Topics: Amy Grant. Baby, Baby. Keith Thomas. Friends. Chris Judson. Amy Jahnke. Growers. Show-ers. Choads/chodes. Sari Kamin! June 15-16, Urinal Strike! Follow Priya Krishna on Instagram and Twitter. Buy her book, Indian-ish! Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter. Our PO Box: Carbface PO Box 595 New York NY 10185

Yasmin Khan is here with her beautiful new book, Zaitoun: Recipes and Stories from the Palestinian Kitchen Topics: Happy Cherry. The Greatest City in the World. Malfunctions. Introductions. Kai Ryssdal. Air horn. Durian. All the podcasts. Retail Nightmares is the best podcast. Happy birthday, Laurie. I would not bake for you. The sex lives of public radio hosts. Legacies. KRF. Terry Gross. Ari Shapiro. Nina Totenberg. Don’t look in my eyes. London. France. I see a dead chicken’s head. Mega...

Sister and brother, Romilly and Griffin Newman, are our guests! Romilly (recovering teen chef) and Griffin (star of Amazon’s The Tick and co-host of the Blank Check podcast) join us to talk food, Chopped, and bodily ailments. Topics: Murder. JT. Owen. As a mom. Naps. Cancer, a Love Story, by Christen Clifford. Pen15. Cats. Piss Kiss. Travels. Nigella. A little eye. How to Shop. Retail Nightmares. Big ol’ bucket. Cake. Spice nerds. Fergus Henderson. Candy is a gateway to Jesus. Grape Mentos.

Stella Parks/BraveTart is here, and she brought cake! Topics: The big headphones. 3D. LSD. Take half. Meetings. Speaking. Hello, listener. Always something to learn. Creating spaces. Everyone gets arrested. Navigating parties. Lemonade party. A list. Full Dinty, again. She’s ok. A hamster. Alaska. A wide-legged jean. Both eyes. Choose your choice. Greyhound. Flavorful Origins. PorknWhiskey. Wilford Brimley. Oatmeal. Will Scarlett. Follow Stella Parks on Instagram and Twitter. Read Stella on...

Grace Bonney, founder of Design*Sponge + @goodcompanyzine and author of In The Company of Women, is our amazing guest, talking about the realities of publishing and so much more. Topics: Lin-Manuel Miranda. Dear Evan Hansen. Cool story, bro is not the name of this episode. Avocado toast shoes. Jesus buns. Food shoes. Wide feet. Full Dinty. Herp Mouth. Shoes for Cliss. Busy Tonight. Caissie St. Onge. Heels on the couch. It’s a pump. Straight in the eyes. Dragonfruit. Panic in the Kmart....

Dennis Lee (a.k.a., Fart Sandwich; a.k.a., Dickhole Dannis) is our beautiful guest! Topics: It came back. Therapy podcasts. Jade eggs. Feeling fresh. Before care. Beards. Grain bowls. Gifts. Six inches. Dinty. Plushies. Carbface apparel. Cake Ones. Cosplay. Real sex. Top five gifs. Bonito flakes. Ponies. Teeth. HalalSnackbox.com. Dirty John. Dennis Lee. Fart Sandwich. Dickhole Dannis. Toaster oven pop tarts.

Our intern and Senior Editor at Food & Wine, Kat Kinsman is here! Topics: AJ Space Boy. Nando’s. Shout out to the Shetland Islands. All the Woolevers. Farming in Queens. Hot dog stand. Move the hole. Hot Ones. Chris Schonberger. Kat!

Mitchell Davis, Chief Strategy Officer of the James Beard Foundation, is our guest. He brought snacks!

It’s a minisode, and we’re all trying to pretend we’re not gonna die! Topics: Are you sick? I found $15 in my backpack. Premium salads. Minimum MFAs. Romaine; e. coli.  Watery chicken. Everyone' a monster. Merry Christmas and happy Easter.

Fresh from Netflix, we have Samin Nosrat! Topics: Yogurt/yog-hurt. Lamb shoulder. Deal breakers. Beard awards. Religion. Cliss. Poppers expert. Dinner parties. Dim sum. Food Town. Autumn mix. Christmas trees. Coffee. Samin!

Some wonderful, magical people from HI-CHEW are our guests! We are joined by Kayleigh Westerfield, HI-CHEW Brand Marketing Manager, and Jennifer Moling, HI-CHEW Product Marketing Manager. Topics: Hello. Samin Nosrat. Be our intern. Sitcom resurrection. Save $60. What’s on the list? Elbow macaroni. December 1. As a mom. Lin-Manuel Miranda is great in everything. Loosies. Dentists. Ina. Fancy people’s cereal. Boulder, Colorado. Artistic sweaters. I didn’t know until after we were...

Topics: A sweaty November. Voting. Pod Save America. Lin-Manuel. Puttin’ on the Hits. Proud Mary. Mean Girls. A Star Is Born. Ping pong.

Topics: An abundance. Constructive and complimentary. Cliss. Poppers culture. A septum. Marching bands. I thought you’d love these. Top 3 Life Advice Recommendations. Candy! Blue Raspberry. WARNING: the sound of Pop Rocks. Necco Wafers. Jellicle Cats.

Julia Turshen is our guest, and she has a wonderful new book, Now & Again. Topics: Killing vegetables. Mellowcremes, again. Big moods. Other people’s pets as proxies for verbally expressing emotion. BUY JULIA’S BOOK IT IS VERY GOOD THANK YOU.