If something real occurs in this timeline, but no conspiracy theorist is there to FUBAR it, does it actually happen? An old man, weakened by COVID, picks up an old-timey phone handset on a Delaware Saturday to tell a childless cat lady that the reins of destiny are now in her hands. A staffer clicks “post” at 1:46pm, and X lights up with something real… that throws an instant shadow of insanity. Biden is too sick to have posted, they say. He’s dead, they say. He has staged or suffered a coup. And Kamala Harris? A DEI bimbo flashing esoteric Marxist hand signals. The DNC is fraudulently transferring the campaign war chest. They couldn’t kill Trump so now they’re playing dirty with the nomination. Biden’s brother is stepping in, Biden’s body double is 8 inches too tall. Dudes who made too much “Let’s Go Brandon” merch are launching lawsuits and crying in their beer. We run down the most cursed Kamala conspiracy theories, how they distort the real questions about her, how being a childless cat lady is her superpower, and whether the ghouls that dream them up really matter. Show Notes Vivian Wilson on Threads: There’s a lot of stuff I need to debunk Elon Musk's transgender daughter, in first interview, says he berated her for being queer as a child J.D. Vance’s Hatred of Cat Ladies Is Weirder and More Dangerous Than You Think J.D. Vance Really Is the Key to Understanding the American Right Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices