Can masturbation be an act of self care and political subversion? What are all the benefits of masturbation? If there are so many benefits of masturbation, why don’t we do it more?  In this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline have a lighthearted and wisdom packed conversation about masturbation in honor of Masturbation Month. They share their personal practices, beliefs and stories about self pleasure; explore the myths, social and religious conditioning about it, and put out a plea for a...

What is the sexual Shadow? How does it affect our individual and collective sexual expression? What are some of the ways we can get to know our Shadow material and work towards integrating it? In this week’s episode Effy explores the crossroads of Jungian psychology and sex with Dr Joli Hamilton. They take a deep dive into the sexual Shadow, the repressed, the unwanted aspects of sexuality. They discuss how — if it goes unexplored and unprocessed — this material impacts our collective and...

In a hypersexualized society, what is it like to be asexual? Do asexual folks have sex? Can asexuality be an important factor for female sexual liberation? In honor of International Asexuality Day (April 6th), we revisit a conversation between Effy, Jacqueline, and journalist, editor, and the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen. The three talk about the asexuality spectrum, its role in identity politics, and why Angela’s book...

What are the systemic factors that support rape culture? Why is it difficult for sexual assault survivors to find their voice? What does a journey towards healing look like? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Danijela Steinfeld, a Serbian-born award-winning actress and filmmaker who is the director and producer of the documentary film Hold Me Right. The film explores the traumatic aftermath and healing process for survivors and perpetrators of sexual violence. Danijela shares...

Is there Biblical scripture that condones or encourages sexual exploration? Why would God design bodies that experience pleasure if we are not supposed to pursue pleasure? Can faith and sexuality coexist? In this episode, Jacqueline resurrects a conversation she had with Effy and De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar. They embark on an Easter egg hunt to find passages and scriptures in the Bible that talk about sex - not as a vehicle to hell, but as a beautiful, sensual, expression of joy and connection...

Why are people into dirty talk? What are different types of dirty talk? How can we start experimenting with verbally expressing our hottest thoughts and desires?  In this episode, Effy invites Jocelyn Silva to discuss the ins and outs of dirty talk. They explore why people are into it, appreciate different types and share some solid tips on how to get started. To learn more about Jocelyn Jocelyn Silva is a bisexual polyamorous Sexual Empowerment Coach, Sex Educator, First Generation...

How can you find the right doctor? What should you ask during your appointment? How can you pleasurably and safely explore anal play? What is unique about sexual health within the gay and queer community? And what is a butt clock? Erectile dysfunction, STIs, vaccinations, and safe anal play are important conversations for men – particularly queer men – to have with their doctor’s and partners. However sometimes the most important conversations are also the most difficult ones. In this...

Can psychedelics be more than a party drug? How are they used in therapy and why are they so effective? What does it take to get into a psychedelic treatment program?  Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society, psychotherapist and clinical supervisor Dee Dee Goldpaugh to discuss her work with psychedelics and their effective use in treating and healing trauma psycho-chemically as well as spiritually. More about Dee...

What’s kink and bdsm? How can we start a conversation with our partner(s) about exploring different sexual expressions? How can kink be a healing modality? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Rena Martine to talk about how to explore the taboo in a healthy way. They discuss how kink can be therapeutic and share some resources on how to get started. Mentioned in this episode: BDSMTest.org Lina Dune - Ask a Sub - Patreon Sex and Psychology Podcast Books: Tell Me What You...

How do you break out from societal norms? What does it take to design a relationship that we can thrive in? What happens when you open your mind to all the possibilities?  In this week’s episode, we bring you another installment of Fox Tales: stories of people who are living, loving and connecting in unique ways. Jacqueline balances a life with her daughter, her wife, and her partner living between two homes. Jacqueline tells the story of how she went from a hetero-mono-normative marriage,...

Are periods simply a burden for women to bear? Can menstruation education cause systemic change for the better in women's welfare? What are the implications of women revitalizing menstrual practices on society and the earth?  In this special episode, Effy talks to the co-founder of EcoFemme Kathy Walkling about how rethinking menstruation and menstruation education can cause radical social change in women’s welfare. Kathy explains EcoFemme’s approach to menstruation that is healthy,...

What is couple privilege? How does it differ from hierarchy in relationships? How does it affect relationships? How can we design our relationships with privilege and hierarchy in mind? In this revised episode, Effy and Jacqueline reflect on couple privilege and hierarchy in relationships on Valentine’s Day when these dynamics can really be accentuated and exasperated. They share suggestions on how to elevate our relationships beyond these limitations and nurture ethical connections across...

What is sexual morality? How do we decide what is right and wrong when it comes to sex? Is it universal or does it change across cultures? How does moralizing sexuality affect our individual sexual expression and our views on sex as a society? In this week’s episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore sexual morality with insights from Dr. Kelly Asao who is a professor of psychology at Westminster College in Salt Lake City. Dr. Asao teaches classes on human sexuality and conducts research on the...

What is borderline personality disorder and what causes it? How does it affect familial and romantic relationships? What does treatment look like? What can people with loved ones who have BPD do? On this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline take on one of the most elusive mental health struggles that predominantly show up in the relational context with the help of psychiatrist and the author of I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality and Sometimes I Act Crazy:...

What is masochism and why do people engage in it? What is the difference between consenting to pain as a means to an end/ byproduct of an activity (e.g., ballerinas and competitive eaters) vs. pain on purpose? What are the benefits and the costs to pain as pleasure? What does masochism have to say about the human experience? In this week’s episode, Effy and Jacqueline take a deep dive into pain for pleasure with science reporter, noted masochist and the author of Hurts So Good, Leigh Cowart....

Why is understanding our uniqueness important to having great sex? What is the dual control model in the context of sexuality and how does it affect our desire? What steps can we take to develop a healthy relationship with sex and sexuality after experiencing trauma or sex negative conditioning? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline have a rich conversation with Dr. Emily Nagoski about how the societal scripts we are handed according to our sex-at-birth impact our sexual expression and how...

What is Big Dick Energy (BDE)? What is the difference between having a big dick, being a big dick, and having big dick energy? Can BDE change the way we think of our lives and societies? In this final episode of the year, Effy and Jacqueline talk about the concept of Big Dick Energy, what it means to embody it, and its potential to disrupt the patriarchy. They parse apart strap-on usage and penis envy to extract their foxy new year wishes. They round off the year with a frustration-fueled...

What is sex therapy and how is it different from other forms of therapy? What are some common concerns explored through sex therapy? What should you expect from a sex therapist and sessions alone or with partner(s)? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with nationally recognized sex therapist and the author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, Dr. Ian Kerner. They discuss the advantages of sex therapy for those who are looking to address struggles around...

How does jealousy show up in non-monogamous relationships? What are some key factors that might challenge and even change our attitude towards jealousy? How can we embrace, process and learn from our jealousy? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton to talk about her research on jealousy specifically with non-monogamous relationships in mind. Dr. Hamilton sums up her research with a quote from Maya Angelou, “Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can...

What is compersion? What are the factors that promote compersion and the factors that hinder it? Does it have a place outside of non-monogamy. In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with Dr. Marie Thouin about her research on compersion. Dr. Thouin shares the factors that promote or get in the way of nurturing compersion. Effy and Jacqueline reflect on their personal journeys with compersion, and share the highs and lows of trying to embody this most elusive feeling. Free Session for...

What does research say about the orgasm gap between men and women? Why do women report a significant drop in sexual pleasure when men enter the equation? Why is it important for us to have orgasm equality and what can we do collectively to close the gap?    In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Grace Wetzel to explore how our gendered experiences shape our sexual experiences. They look at research, which indicates that bi and straight women have the least amount of orgasms,...

Why does the overturning of Roe v Wade impact same-sex marriage in the U.S.? What can same-sex couples, non-married couples, polyamorous families, triads/quads, and platonic co-parents do to protect their rights? What can we do, on a system-wide level, to protect and expand the rights of all non-nuclear families and non-traditional relationship constructs?  In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with LGBTQ rights lawyer and advocate, Diana Adams, about the very real concerns...

What is the distinction between talking with children about their bodies, about sexuality, and about sex? And why is it important to talk about each? What are some barriers for adults to have these conversations with the children in their lives? How can we ensure that our conversations about sex are age appropriate…and what does “age appropriate” mean anyway? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with children’s non-fiction author Cory Silverberg about having expansive conversations with...

What happens to a relationship after there is betrayal? Is it possible to rebuild after trust is destroyed? Can infidelity exist within a non-monogamous relationship?  In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline take a deeper dive into Jacqueline's story of surviving what felt like an earthquake when she discovered some shocking information about her wife. Support the showTo find more about Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla, follow them at @wearecuriousfoxes, @coacheffyblue, and...

Are outbursts, a chronic lack of trust, and an unpredictable fluctuation between avoidant and anxious behavior a sign of disorganized attachment? What is disorganized attachment? How does it affect relationships? Why don’t we hear more about this attachment style? Can we move from disorganized attachment to secure attachment? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist - and self proclaimed attachment nerd - Julie Menanno, to explore the least...