Have you ever tried to express concern about something in your relationship, only to be met with your thoughts, feelings, and needs dismissed – but the explanations used by the other person somehow cause you to doubt the validity of your concerns? This is gaslighting at some of it’s “finest”. In today’s episode, Sarah and her guest take a closer look at this experience as he shares his story. Would you like to share your story, get Sarah’s brain on what you’ve experienced, and be able to more clearly understand what has been happening in your relationship? Reach out today and get on Sarah’s calendar https://calendly.com/sarah-morales-coaching/podcast-guest (here)! Word of the day: Dismiss… yourdictionary.com defines dismiss as: to disregard an idea or treat something as unworthy of consideration. I think we all can relate to how s****y it feels to have our thoughts, feelings, ideas, perspectives, and needs dismissed. It’s one thing when we can recognize that that is what’s happening… typically, when gaslighting behaviors are involved in the dismissing action, we DON’T recognize that it’s happening; for one reason or another, we end up either confused, or questioning ourselves, or both! Let’s hear how this played out in my guest, Kaleb’s relationship. Story Time: Sarah and Kaleb talk about the confusing dynamics of his relationship; how his feelings and concerns were often dismissed; and how the conflicting messages he got from his girlfriend caused him to lose his confidence, and he experienced a pushing away/pulling in by her; and of course, we talk about how gaslighting was interwoven throughout his story. Deconstruction Zone: The thing that stood out to Sarah the most in Kaleb’s story was the technique of mind games. Mind games typically involves conflicting, counter-intuitive, and/or inconsistent messages. We can hear this multiple ways in Kaleb’s story, like how in the span of less than 24 hours, his ex would say, “you’re the best boyfriend she ever had” to saying, “I didn’t know what to call you”. That’s confusing AF! You’re left stumped, and more often than not, our brain focuses on trying to figure out how to make it make sense. In the end, when gaslighting has occurred, it’s usually because in our attempt to “make it make sense”, we focus on any scrap of logic that will accomplish making it make sense, and this scrap, if you will, is usually some sort of ½ truth our gaslighter gives us. Set Your Alarm: When it comes to experiencing our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perspectives or needs being dismissed, this is how we set our alarm: Ask: “Even if the other person doesn’t agree with my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or perspectives, are they trying to find common ground so that my needs are being addressed?” Ask: “Okay, so the other person doesn’t agree with my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or perspectives… how would I want them to respond, even though they don’t agree or understand?” Pay attention to when your head is taking over, and logic is becoming more important than how the situation makes you feel… pay attention to any desperation you may be feeling, and therefore, any concessions you may be making (especially ignoring your gut) in order to “Make it make sense!” Don’t forget about the https://www.tiktok.com/@deconstructgaslighting?is_from_webapp=1andsender_device=pc (livestream on Tiktok) at 1:00 pm EST where we will discuss the topic of the week (due to Sarah being on vacation, she’s going to do TWO lives next week – one on Thursday, and one on Friday). And remember – it’s not about becoming who you want to be, it’s about awakening all that you already are!