It seems counterintuitive to actually loosen your grip on something that you care about. But, that’s what Juanita Molano Parra and I are examining in our series, “Riding the Waves.” We’re looking at what comes up, what opens up, and what becomes available when we hold big ideas, big feelings, and big problems a little more lightly. Can this technique help us navigate rough emotional waters?  As a way in, Juanita and I pose several questions that indicate how we approach and manage “big...

Hello and thank you for joining Juanita Molano Parra and me as we continue “Riding the Waves,” the series in which we examine what comes up, what opens up, and what becomes available when we loosen our grip on big ideas, big feelings, and big problems. By holding big things a little more lightly, it becomes easier to ride the turbulent emotional waves. This episode introduces the question, “what’s at stake?” Stakes can be both good and bad, penalty and reward, inspirational and paralyzing....

Hello! Thank you for joining Juanita Molano Parra and me as we pick up from our last discussion and dive deeper into the question, "what if I fail?" This is the third question in our series, “Riding the Waves,” where we examine what comes up, what opens up, and what becomes available when we hold big ideas, big feelings, and big problems a little more lightly.  Several interesting ideas became clear during the first part of our discussion on fear and failure. Now, we consider why the mere...

Welcome back and thank you for joining Juanita Molano Parra and me as we examine what comes up, what opens up, and what becomes available when we hold big ideas, big feelings, and big problems a little more lightly. This is an approach to well-being that begins with a question and often leads to other questions. But, if the answers can help us loosen our grip on those big scary things, then it becomes a bit easier to ride the turbulent emotional waves.   This episode in our series introduces...

Thank you for joining Juanita Molano Parra and me for our continuing series, “Riding the Waves.” We are looking at several questions designed to help us navigate big feelings, big situations, and big questions. We know that holding these big things lightly can make them less overwhelming and more approachable. Even better, new things become accessible and possible when we hold the challenging things lightly. Here are some observations as we continue our discussion of, “What should I do?” ...

Welcome back as Juanita Molano Parra and I explore the next question in our series, “Riding the Waves.” In this series, we are looking at several questions as a way to navigate big feelings, big situations, and big questions. We’re considering how to hold these big things lightly so that they are less overwhelming and scary… and more approachable. New things become accessible and possible when we hold the challenging things lightly, and it’s those new possibilities we hope to reveal.  In the...

Juanita and I are excited to be back with the next episode in our miniseries, Riding the Waves. The logical first question, “where should I start,” has prompted a lot of discussion around finding confidence in the uncertainty of big feelings and big situations. Here are some of the topics we address:: Starting Messy: It’s okay if your beginning feels imperfect—give yourself permission to start anyway. Getting Stuck: Negative self-talk and the fear of how things might turn out can stop us...

Hello! I’m excited to be back with the 16th season of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs podcast! This season—all season—I am joined by Juanita Molano Parra, an experienced life and leadership coach. Together, we are going to examine ways to navigate big feelings, big situations, and big questions. More specifically, we’ll consider what becomes possible and available when we hold big ideas lightly. Our conversations will focus on looking for ways to make the harder, more challenging times in life...

Please note: This episode includes a discussion of pregnancy and miscarriage.   Our series on “The Right Kind of Hard” would not be complete without an examination of radical acceptance. It's probably the hardest to do, which makes it the rightest of the hardest to do. Ultimately, I think, the degree of difficulty makes radical acceptance most worthy of our energy and exploration.   How does radical acceptance apply to everything that we've explored so far? Why is it hard? Why do we...

Pursuing a goal. Chasing a dream. Improving your life. You're working hard to achieve something, but how do you know if you're making progress or even if you’re on the right track? My goal is to help you answer these questions with our series, “The Right Kind of Hard.”   This exploration hinges on a specific quote. (I think I heard it from Wayne Dyer.) Here it is: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It’s a smart take on perspective. Let's use it to...

Our series on “the right kind of hard” has made clear the need to actively take breaks. When I'm in the middle of processing something—whether I’m cooking up a new idea or trying to keep an idea alive or trying to push something over the finish line—I want to honor the process and let things rest when needed. Taking a pause actually can be the most effective way to move forward.  So I'm taking a moment to pause and reflect and use a more consistent and deliberate way of checking in with...

This season we are exploring “the right kind of hard,” which is all about identifying and doing the most relevant and useful work for personal and professional growth. So, I am thrilled to sit down with my dear friend, Lindsay Boccardo, who is perfectly suited for this topic.   As someone who makes her living developing leaders and teams and great work environments, Lindsay is acutely familiar with key questions around motivation, mindset, and self-awareness—many of the same questions we’re...

I hope you have a teacher in your life who means as much to you as Dr. Michael O’Hara means to me. He is a wonderful mentor and a lovely person. If you’re wondering why I gush over him in my introduction, you will understand as our discussion unfolds.  Michael and I can easily pick up where we left off even when we haven’t seen each other in a while. That’s how we begin this interview, but trust me, our talk of the theatre dovetails perfectly into “The Right Kind of Hard.”  We explore so...

In a recent substack, I wrote about “Falling, Farting & Misspelled Words.” Why? Well, because our fears and insecurities are not unique to us. We are all special, but our hangups are not. It’s an important topic, but kind of a funny one, too! We tend to think that our pain is too deep and personal to share. We think others simply won't understand or can’t know how we feel. So, we bury our pain. We mask it, self-medicate, go shopping—anything to avoid it. But, in doing so, we also avoid...

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're avoiding a topic or a task? You feel an uncomfortable twist in your gut or maybe you notice it in someone else, like when they're fidgeting or avoiding eye contact at the start of a conversation.  Trust me, we've all been there. And often, we're not quite sure if we're avoiding the thing because we're just not ready to face it or if we're actually preparing ourselves for the challenge ahead.   The good news is there’s a way to make...

Welcome back to a brand new season of “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs!”  Diving back into podcasting after a bit of a hiatus—actually, diving back into anything after a hiatus—can prompt procrastination and cold feet, especially when life has dramatically changed in the meantime. Have you experienced that, too? Late last year my husband and I had a second child—a baby boy—and his older sister is now a “threenager!” So, as I sit down in front of the microphone again, well, there is a lot going on....

We’re wrapping up our "Journal Your Way to Clarity'' series with an examination of purpose, which can feel like a very heavy weight for many of us. You are not alone if you’ve struggled with questions like, "What am I supposed to do with my life?" or "How do I make my life meaningful?"  As a therapist, I've observed that people often struggle with defining their purpose because it's not just about a career or a role—it's about the totality of our experiences and values. And purpose evolves...

Family. The dynamics can be so very complex. As we dive into the next-to-last life theme in our series from The Treasured Journal, we look at how structured communication exercises can uncover new perspectives and deepen interactions with family.  We also explore the importance of curiosity. A shared history can create a trap that leaves you feeling like there is nothing new to know, nothing new to learn. But, setting your assumptions aside and digging a little deeper can have tremendous...

Sex is the focus of Part 5 in our “Journaling Your Way to Clarity” series, which follows the seven life themes from The Treasured Journal:  career, relationships, money, love, sex, family, and purpose. Because sex is such a broad topic, we'll narrow the scope to our relationship with pleasure and give special emphasis to the idea of worthiness. Do you believe you are worthy and deserving of the experiences you want to have?  Sex is an especially good topic for journaling because an honest,...

Hello! If you’ve been following along you know that I’ve been away having and taking care of our new baby boy. I am so excited to be back in front of the microphone again bringing you fresh, new content. In a future episode, I will share more on our unexpected but welcome pregnancy, the labor and delivery, and the unexpected but welcome challenges that arise in caring for two young children instead of only one!  Until then, we’re continuing the “Journal Your Way to Clarity” series with the...

They say that “money makes the world go round” because it’s necessary to meet our basic needs. But another truth lurks within financial transactions:  money carries with it a tremendous amount of emotional weight. Our upbringing and our experiences with money shape our perspective and perception of its worth. So it’s useful to examine how money influences our moods and behavior, our relationships, and even our own sense of self. Toward the end of the episode, use the thought exercises to...

Hello! Grab a warm beverage and settle in. We’re continuing our discussion of relationships as part of the Journal Your Way to Clarity series. Relationships can cover a lot of territory. But, for now, I want to focus on two specific concepts:  (1) how relationships are like mirrors, and (2) the relationship fear loop. The complexities of relationships can be confusing and maddening and difficult to sort given the intense emotions attached to the people in our lives. But I have found that...

Welcome to the next installment in the Journal Your Way to Clarity series. This is the first of a two-part look at relationships, a topic that tends to dominate our thoughts and conversations.  Whether it's the heartache, frustration, or anger that we feel toward a partner or someone else in our lives, these emotions usually reveal the need for work that looks inward, not outward.  The desire to be seen and heard—to connect with others on a meaningful level—is universal. But achieving that...

Hello! Well, a lot has happened since we last connected. Let me bring you up to date. In January of this year, I decided to devote a series of podcast episodes to the seven life themes found in The Treasured Journal:  career, relationships, money, love, sex, family, and purpose. I recorded and published episodes on three of the seven themes and invited listeners to journal along with me.  The ideas and questions discussed in each podcast supplied listeners with guided exercises that helped...