"We naturally resent anyone who harms us or harms those we love. We seethe. Resentment demands ransom of revenge. We live to "pay them back." With our words or with our deeds- maybe both- we will get them. We think, Just you wait!" "The power to forgive comes from God and is available through prayer." "We may forget when we forgive. However, the two should not be equated." "Memory makes forgiveness possible" You must go back and remember the hurt before you can remove the pain and forgive.  "Before we can forgive, we must suffer a hurt." "In our hurt, courageous, loving confrontation can open the door to transformation." Once hurt, through courage and love you can confront the person and the door to transforming the relationship to a deeper state is opened.