You can't make anyone do anything Dichotomy of control If you find yourself repeating your boundaries to a partner, it's called, trying to make something happen It's subconsciously a scare tactic, a form of manipulation and control. This is about trying to change someone Instead of pushing for changes, the strike system might work Detach Give them opportunity to make changes You may express yourself 2-3 times If no change, let it go or let go When people get into a relationship, they know their responsibility to feed relationship container. They know what they set out for. A partner in a relationship is impacted by you, just as you are impacted by them. That is how they feel prompted to meet or address your needs. They do this without self-betrayal also. They honour themselves. Yet, they do not disregard your needs. If a partner is not making an effort to meet your needs or communicate why they cannot, they are making a choice to exclude you. You cannot make anyone do anything Consider how much of what your are communicating means to you If you have given them opportunity and there are no changes, it is up to you to either lay the issue to rest or let them go. If you lay an issue to rest, parent yourself to avoid resentment. If you cannot let go of resentment, let go of the relationship. You cannot keep repeating yourself to someone, otherwise the relationship can turn abusive. What can I do while my partner isn't doing what I want them to do? Focus on yourself Get into a routine that benefits you Create Hobbies Be in the moment Meet friends Help others When your partner is coming towards you, sort out whatever needs sorting out You only have now!