Episodes
Ello ello ello. Join us as we drink Taylor Swift themed cocktails (shut up, haters) and chat about chapter 29 of the half blood prince. We discuss Dumbledore's reputation, mansplaining, and how Hogwarts definitely has a morgue. HP TV Show Petition: ⁠https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/⁠ ⁠Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing⁠ ⁠Merch -...
Published 08/02/23
Hi Swifties! We *aren't* eating rotten shark, but we are eating and drinking many other Icelandic things! So join us as we discuss Neville being observant, the end of childhood, Snake's slutty little ankles, and how easy it is to kill babies. HP TV Show Petition: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/ Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 07/18/23
Alright guvna? Today we're drinking every f*****g alcohol we own, ew. We're announcing the winners of the house cup, Hogwarts being violated, and of course, Snape Unaliving Dumbledore.  HP TV Show Petition: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/ Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 07/03/23
OMG it's WITCH PLEASE?! For some reason Marcelle and Hannah stooped to our level and agreed to come on Goblet of Wine, and somehow, actually lowered the tone?! Who'd have thunk it. Around some slight technical issues, we discuss Voldemort being sticky, BYOB (bring your own boat) and...anal secretions? Witch Please - https://www.ohwitchplease.ca/https://www.ohwitchplease.ca/ HP TV Show Petition: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/ Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 06/20/23
Ello ello, new episode time! We're chatting about chapter 25 of the half blood prince (eek, we're so close to the end!), about tarot cards, holocaust metaphors, and trust. Plus, Todd and Misu facetime. Awh. Get a free box of wine (and corn), using our Wine52 link! www.wine52.com/GOBLET HP TV Show Petition: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/ Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 06/06/23
Bonjour, welcome back to your favourite podcast run by two fully functional alcoholics. Join us discussing chaper 24 of the half blood prince, aka unforgivable curses, nearly headless nick, and crotons. Charlie also gets stuck in some jeans, and we talk at length about our love of Notion: Sign up to Notion for free: https://affiliate.notion.so/gobletofwine HP TV Show Petition: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/ Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 05/23/23
HOLE IN THE WALL! We're backkkk, and again, Neil is holding us at gun point and forcing us to let him guest, ew. We're talking about prophecies and the 'chosen one', how fantasy should always have a massive worm, love being lame, and how many vegetables you can hold at once (no, this isn't a euphemism).  Petition: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/ Get a free box of wine (and corn), using our Wine52 link! www.wine52.com/GOBLET Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 05/09/23
Ello ello. We're back...and unfortunately, Neil is back too! He's weaselled his way onto the podcast again. And he forced us to drink Dragon Soop, the bastard. We're chatting about Snugglehorn, how Voldemort should have been minister for magic, how much soul he has, and then eventually Charlie gets distracted by corn and stops contributing to the episode. Get a free box of wine (and corn), using our Wine52 link! www.wine52.com/GOBLET Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 04/17/23
Ooooh shiny new camera! Wooo! Shiny new episode! Wooo! Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch - https://www.redbubble.com/people/gobletofwine/shop?asc=u www.gobletofwine.co.uk   patreon.com/gobletofwine  Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod...
Published 04/04/23
Welcome back to YET ANOTHER VIDEO PODCAST! Yes, we're still really excited about this. We're chatting chapter 21 of Half Blood Prince, about Roonil Waslib, Harry being a nonce that's good at owning slaves, and not f*****g your cousin. Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 03/13/23
Welcome to our MOST EXCITING EPISODE EVER! We're celebrating the biggest, most exciting thing that's ever happened to Goblet Of Wine.  Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch - https://www.redbubble.com/people/gobletofwine/shop?asc=u www.gobletofwine.co.uk   patreon.com/gobletofwine  Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod...
Published 02/28/23
LOOK! IT'S OUR SEXY, SEXY FACES! HOW LUSH! Unless you're not listening to this via Spotify, in which case, why not. Or YouTube. Get with the times! When we aren't gazing lovingly into each others eyes (which you can see for once!!) we're discussing chapter 19 of the half blood prince. Charlie sings a beautiful rendition of Spider In The Bath, and talks about how much she hates minorities (please, no one edit her sarcasm).  Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 02/14/23
WE'RE BACK BABY! In today's episode we are POISONED by a VILE Canadian C**T called Em, who made us drink a drink sooo vile that we for the first time ever couldn't drink it. Aka a Ceaser. When we aren't gagging, we talk about chapter 18 of Goblet Of Fire, bathroom cabinets, slughorn's singing abilities, bad teaching and Neville's assless chaps. Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 01/30/23
IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! It's time for a 5th Christmas special and this year we're back with writing bad fanfiction using patreon prompts. This year we're drinking hot mulled balsams while making mad stories about the scarf of sexual preference, hot crocs, defiling the sorting hat, and the worst Christmas song you've ever heard in your life, featuring Taylor Swift and Buffy The Vampire Slayer - All Too Bem.  Michael McIntyre juice...
Published 12/24/22
Hello hello! In today's episode we're discussing chapter 17 of Half Blood Prince, and Hannah gets herself cancelled by talking about how sexy children are, specifically, orphans. We also drink Balsams gifted to us by a Patreon Alex, and attempt to speak Latvian in his honour.  Orphan guy: www.tiktok.com/@isaach.p Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 12/19/22
Happy December everyone! Today we're drinking some fancy milky liquid and risking the fact Charlie might sh*t herself mid-episode. In this episode we begin to get a bit festive, discuss werewolf representation, how inventing spells actually works, and everyone's favourite fun topic ... war propaganda? Oh and Fred's wonderful buttock.  History & Folkore podcast by Holly Medland - https://open.spotify.com/show/2g4jLkfikZwWNYCZMjh54M?si=827d68fe57314c03 Why Do Maps Show Places That Don't...
Published 12/05/22
Üdvözöljük! Today's episode is dedicated to the lovely Dorka (and the country of Hungary) who provided us with one of this episodes alcohols, and also very kindly voice noted in for us. In today's episode, as well as offending the entire country of Hungary, we discuss chapter 15 of the half blood prince. We chat about Christmas, Danielle Radcliffe having a second puberty, Harry's sex dreams, Ron being the worst, and Taylor Swift (obviously). Content warnings: Spiking - 3 minutes Drugging:...
Published 11/21/22
The *longest* awaited collab - we're FINALLY sitting down and chatting with Meg & Kate from Swish & Flick! We're drinking Schofferhofer and chatting about chapter 14 of Half Blood Prince. We're discussing Ron & Hermione's romance, gamp's law again, and male emotions. https://www.swishflickcast.com/ Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 10/25/22
This episode is dedicated to Alex, a member of our community who sadly passed away last year. Our fundraiser for Mermaids is linked below.  Content warnings: Suicide & transphobia - 11 minutes to 17:15, and 44:55 to 47 Wretching noises - 19:30 to 24:30 Mermaids Fundraiser for Alex - https://www.gofundme.com/f/2s554-in-memory-of-alex The Gayly Prophet's Guide To Firing JK Rowling - https://hashtagruthless.com/  Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 10/10/22
Hello hello! In today's episode we're *finally* sitting down with Lark and Jessie from The Gayly Prophet to discuss chapter 12 of The Half Blood Prince. We're drinking Orange Blossom's and talking about drunk McGonagall, how inventing spells work, and the invisible curriculum. The Gayly Prophet - https://hashtagruthless.com/  Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 09/27/22
100TH EPISODE! We did this 100 times and NO ONE STOPPED US! Including the Leakycon staff who LET US DO IT LIVE AT LEAKYCON! Join us live as we discuss chapter 11, quidditch tryouts, Harry trampling first years, Hagrid, and time turners. Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 09/12/22
Oooh, what's occur gin? HELLO! We're back for our first episode post-Leaky! We're doing our Leakycon recap as well as discussing chapter 10 of Half-Blood Prince. We're talking about how incest is bad (shocking I know), Bob's big dick energy, the Pensieve auto-playing, love potions, and how Voldemort is a cranky dude who loves murder. Content Warning: Domestic and sexual violence throughout the episode especially from 1 hour in. All the fabulous people we mentioned from Leakycon: Fanatical...
Published 08/30/22
Welcome welcome to another guest episode! This week we're chatting to our friend Nikita about chapter 9 whilst drinking Pimms in excruciating heat. We discuss body fluids, school timetables and free periods, Ron side-kicking, genetics, and overall poor teaching. Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing Merch -...
Published 08/15/22
ELLO ELLO! We drank Amortentia and we didn't fall in love! Hurray! In today's episode we're inventing amortentia drinks and chatting about patronuses, non-uniform day, and the ever-changing layout of the great hall. Leakycon Schedule: http://www.leakycon.com/orlando-2022-schedule/ Leakycon Tickets (use code GOBLET for $10 off): https://www.showclix.com/event/leakycon21-orlando/tag/topnav Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist -...
Published 08/01/22
It's been months since we recorded, we are back and we're drinking tubby custard (or amaretto sours as it's also known). In this episode, we talk about chapter 7 of Half Blood Prince, with added eggs, Harry's incredible character growth (sometimes), how hot Blaise Zabini is and how much everyone dunks on Tonks. Leakycon Schedule: http://www.leakycon.com/orlando-2022-schedule/ Leakycon Tickets (use code GOBLET for $10 off): https://www.showclix.com/event/leakycon21-orlando/tag/topnav Enjoy...
Published 07/18/22