Episodes
Episode 12 (Minutes 1:50:00 to 2:00:05): This week trots us down to Hagrid’s hut once more as future-Harry and future-Hermione begin their mission from Dumbledore (not at all confusing). We delight in the scenes with Beaky and have a few things to say about how Hermione is portrayed in this sequence. Also, CROW BUDGET. Join us next week for minutes 2:00:05 to THE END! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with HP saying “Poor Professor Lupin’s having a really tough night.”)
Published 10/20/21
Episode 11 (Minutes 1:40:00 to 1:50:00): This week transforms Professor Lupin into “WereLupin” and throws us into some chaotic scenes. We are joined by our lovely guest, Brock in North Carolina, who helps us take apart these 10 minutes with some great insights. We discuss Snape’s age, werewolf teacher protocol, and is Dumbledore a little too happy to send these kids on a mission?? Join us next week for minutes 1:50:00 to 2:00:05! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with HP and Hermione seeing...
Published 10/13/21
Episode 10 (Minutes 1:30:12 to 1:40:00): This week winds us through the Shrieking Shack to find a very grimy Sirius waiting for the trio. We get some frantic explanations and some pretty gross costume decisions and we ask some questions about the Shack itself. Join us for this odd reunion scene ending with a couple transformations as we near the end of this season! Join us next week for minutes 1:40:00 to 1:50:00! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Wormtail transforming and running away...
Published 10/06/21
Episode 9 (Minutes 1:19:12 to 1:30:12): This week casts us into the Divination classroom where a sassy Hermione slaps away an apparently unbreakable crystal ball. In this chunk, we are treated to an unsettling Macnair, a chaotic trip to Hagrid’s cabin, and for the love, just drop the rat! Enjoy our talking to the Zoom voiceover lady we named Jane as well as CJ’s confrontation with Mary in the post credits… Join us next week for minutes 1:30:12 to 1:40:00! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends...
Published 09/29/21
Episode 8 (Minutes 1:09:45 to 1:19:12): This week continues the Patronus lesson with Lupin where Harry plays with flames and talks about his imagination. We truly enjoy so many moments in this chunk and start wonder if last week’s guest @itspaulwarren made us like this movie again?! How dare you! Listen in for some truly fun theories as to whether or not Snape knows more than he’s letting on about the map and what’s with the portrait of the man with the funnel hat?! (No post-credits this...
Published 09/22/21
Episode 7 (Minutes 59:01 to 1:09:45): This week we have a special guest joining us in Hogsmeade! We had the pleasure of talking with Mr. Paul Warren about the large amount of nonsense in this jam-packed chunk; including what are the candy machines in HoneyDukes and why can’t Hagrid go to The Three Broomsticks?! We discuss all these questions and more, tune in! (Apologies in advance for any sound quality issues, we didn’t have the Muffliato charm...) Join us next week for minutes 1:09:45 to...
Published 09/15/21
Episode 6 (Minutes 48:15  to 59:01): This week runs around the moving staircases and out of that chaos into the Great Hall sleepover. We HAVE to talk about page 394, the soaking wet quidditch match, and the overall sassiness of the Whomping Willow in this elaborate 10 minute chunk… Join us next week for minutes 59:01 to 1:09:45! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Hedwig flying over the grounds and we see HP in the clock window.)
Published 09/08/21
Episode 5 (Minutes 38:49  to 48:15): This week crashes us through the windows and clip clops into the Great Hall carrying a ghost head? We’re going to banish boggarts by making them more terrifying, freeze plant life, and hold mystery items on the moving staircases when the Fat Lady takes flight. Listen in as there is oh so much to discuss amidst the chaos!. Join us next week for minutes 48:15 to 59:01! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Hermione saying “It’s not funny, Ron.”)
Published 09/01/21
Episode 4 (Minutes 29:14 to 38:49): This week begins in Trelawney’s very familiar looking classroom with the students in their first dramatic Divination lesson. We are introduced to the real hero of this movie (Ekow!) and also get to meet a really lovely and well done Buckbeak. Come fly over the grounds with us on a half bird horse in a “king of the world” moment as we delve into chunk number four! Join us next week for minutes 38:49  to 48:15! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Buckbeak...
Published 08/25/21
Episode 3 (Minutes 19:43 to 29:14): This week stops the Hogwarts Express on the bridge to let dementors board and suck our faces. We lose our minds over the bullfrog choir and have a hard time with the replacements of the Hogwarts staff. However, we are not mad at the dementors depiction...nicely done...ooky spooky. Join us next week for minutes 29:14 to 38:49! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with the twitter bird smacking into the Whomping Willow.)
Published 08/18/21
Episode 2 (Minutes 10:16 to 19:43): This week’s chunk drives us to the Leaky Cauldron and into another exasperated conversation about the shrunken head. Listen in as we admire Fudge’s new haircut but can’t stand the Igor/Uncle Fester version of Tom. Oof. Also, stick around for the shortest post-credits ever (yawn and you’ll miss it!) Join us next week for minutes 19:43 to 29:14! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with HP shutting the compartment door saying “I’ve gotta tell you something.)
Published 08/11/21
Episode 1 (Minutes 0 to 10:16): This week swoops us through Harry’s window and the start of movie three! We discuss dog visiting etiquette and the actual horror that would be floating away like Aunt Marge. Cory’s not a fan of The Knight Bus while Andrea is down for a tacky chandelier any day. Join us next week for minutes 10:16 to 19:43! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with the shrunken head saying “before it eats you!”)
Published 08/04/21
Join us this week for a chaotic yelling about the deleted scenes from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! We see Harry interact with yet another dead hand and are delighted to see more of Hogwarts at Christmas! Follow along with us on the deleted scenes on YouTube with the fabulous French subtitles we chat about during the episode.  Thanks again for listening and join us very soon for Season 3, Movie 3, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!
Published 07/28/21
Episode 15: (Minutes 2:21:11 to END) This week finally puts us out of our misery as this long movie comes to a screeching halt in the last few scenes. We get excruciatingly slow deliveries of lines in Dumby’s office as well as a revelation in what Lucius actually starts to say to Harry in the hall (spoiler-not trying to kill the kid. We were shocked, too). Join us for the last few moments of cheese in the final chunk of this movie and join us for the bonus episode (deleted scenes!) next week!!
Published 07/21/21
Episode 14: (Minutes 2:10:32 to 2:21:11) This week continues the “battle” between HP and the basilisk while Hot Tom continues to hang out monologuing. We take issue with the camera choices during this chunk and wonder why Hot Tom wouldn’t just kill Harry himself? Also, is the basilisk even a snake?? Enjoy our ranting in this penultimate episode, ALMOST DONE WITH SEASON TWO! (Whew!) Join us next week for minutes 2:21:11 to THE END! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Dumbledore saying, “It...
Published 07/14/21
Episode 13: (Minutes 2:00:45 to 2:10:32) This week winds us deeper into the chamber to meet Hot (Ghost) Tom and the largest snake you ever did see. We enjoy the ridiculous drama of it all but have to question where Fawkes was hanging out in between appearances?? Enjoy our slightly ADHD episode this week and make sure to join us for the final two episodes before Season 3 (finally!) begins. Join us next week for minutes 2:10:32 to 2:21:11! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Tom saying to...
Published 07/07/21
Episode 12: (Minutes 1:50:58 to 2:00:45) This week finds us in the hospital wing with Harry touching yet another petrified hand, this time belonging to Hermione. Cory drops some knowledge about the history of the pipes at Hogwarts and Andrea realizes she doesn’t know what the bones are in the Chamber of Secrets...so much to discover! Join us next week for minutes 2:00:45 to 2:10:32! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Ron telling Lockhart, “Go on.”)
Published 06/30/21
Episode 11: (Minutes 1:41:48 to 1:50:58) This week follows the spiders into the Forbidden Forest to get some info from a wet-mouthed, wheezing Aragog.  We rejoice when we see the Ford Anglia but have some real problems with Hagrid’s hut (again!). Join us next week for minutes 1:50:58 to 2:00:45! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Harry saying, “He was innocent.”)
Published 06/23/21
Episode 10: (Minutes 1:29:19 to 1:41:48) This week sucks us inside of a diary to show us the occurrences from 50 years ago in sepia tone..and oh so quickly. We wonder about the decision to show other students their friend’s petrified body, how old was hot Tom, and who would be that calm going to prison?! Join us next week for minutes 1:41:48 to 1:50:58! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Fudge saying, “Come, Hagrid”.)
Published 06/16/21
Episode 9: (Minutes 1:19:32 to 1:29:19) This week we put two unconscious children in a closet and steal their identities for a bit (problematic). We can’t understand why we bothered with keeping Ron and Harry’s voices in the bodies and why would HP still need glasses?! Listen for our theories on the diary being sentient and the possibility that Hermione could be the next Moaning Myrtle. Join us next week for minutes 1:29:19 to 1:41:48. (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with zooming in on the...
Published 06/09/21
Episode 8: (Minutes 1:09:14  to 1:19:32) This week explains why everyone stared at Harry like a freak for talking to a snake and we wonder why this never came up before? We discuss the clunky petrified ghost/Justin scene and why is that baby phoenix gooey?! Stick around for the post-credits and the melodrama of Cory’s neighbors. Join us next week for minutes 1:19:32 to 1:29:19 (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Harry saying to Ron, “Come on, lets get them.”)
Published 06/02/21
Episode 7: (Minutes 59:13 to 1:09:14) This week we wake up hearing disembodied voices and find Dobby staring us right in the freaking face. We question what time period this hospital wing is from and who allowed the dueling club to become such an absolute shitshow? And some snake chatting, of course. Join us next week for minutes 1:09:14  to 1:19:32. (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Harry looking at Lockhart, then at Snape)
Published 05/26/21
Episode 6: (Minutes 51:18 to 59:13) This week finds us in a beautiful library looking at a very weird version of “Most Potente Potions”-then flings us back onto the quidditch pitch. We have to talk about this chaotic match and why, dear god, did we have to make the boneless arm noises so awful?! Stay tuned for the post-credits to hear Cory’s Rocky Horror musings. Join us next week for minutes 59:13 to 1:09:14. (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Madame Pomfrey saying “What did you expect?...
Published 05/19/21
Episode 5: (Minutes 39:51 to 51:18) This week opens in Hagrid’s Hut of Horror and chases us into the corridor to find the bloody (high up!) message. We can’t help but laugh at the petrified Mrs. Norris and question so many things about this discovery scene like what time is it?! Who would notice spiders?? Join us next week for minutes 51:18 to 59:13! (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Ron looking back at a smirking Malfoy in Transfiguration class.)
Published 05/12/21
Episode 4: (Minutes 29:27 to 39:51) This week drags us to Snape’s hot mess office for a dramatic tongue-lashing followed by a chaotic Defense Against the Dark Arts class. We discuss our shared fear of the pixies as well as the mystery age of the red-headed quidditch player for Slytherin. Stick around for the post-credits where we discuss the far-distant potential of another nerdy podcast..(yikes). (Scene Marker: This chunk ends with the trio rushing away from the crowd, Malfoy snickering)
Published 05/05/21