In this episode Matt & Jenn share another live Q&A session - this time from a recent Marriage Day in Saint Louis. We respond to the following questions: What are some examples of a kingdom-purpose for a marriage?  What’s a good way to come up with a vision/purpose?How to heal your sex life and trust after sexual immorality (eg porn, lust)How do I move past my spouses past sexual experiences with others before our marriage?Would you give an example of how to “reset” if we’ve become...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to an email from a bride-to-be regarding her concerns about first-time sexual intercourse. We also address concerns about sexual pain relevant to all married couples. Pain with intercourse is not a rare circumstance and may occur for many reasons. The good news is that there are solutions for nearly every cause.Some discomfort may occur for a new wife as her body becomes accustomed to the process of sexual intercourse.The keys to reducing or preventing...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some clips from a recent live Q&A session at our Marriage Weekend in Seattle. We covered these questions: - Explain what you mean by “newness is required in the sexual relationship"? - How to increase romantic intimacy when life isn’t romantic? - How often should we schedule date night?  - What are some ways we can be spontaneous with sex with kids in the house? - What are some ways a responder can prepare for intimacy later in the day? - Can the...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the negative impacts of pornography use -- even if it occurred before you were married.  We also address the unmarried about how to deal with the challenges of finding out that your potential spouse has a porn problem. Pornography is a negative influence in society and may manifest terrible consequences even if a spouse used pornography before they were married.Prior to getting married, this issue must be addressed in conversation and counseling. Don’t...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share personal advice about how to find comfort and healing in your marriage while suffering deep loss. Share open and honest conversations about emotions, memories, fears, and needs.Find solace and support in each other. Prioritize emotional, mental, spiritual and sexual connection.Lean on your spiritual family and don’t be afraid to seek professional help. To purchase the 2023 DATING DIVAS MARRIAGE BUNDLE, including the brand new eCourse by Intimate...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss better ways for pursuers -- emotional or sexual -- to better communicate and initiate connection. Poor pursuit and poor initiation result in missed connection and feelings of rejection — intentional or unintentional.Pursuit should not include criticism, shame or other forms of pressure. Instead, offer an appeal for connection and an invitation to co-create.Be specific with your invitation to avoid miscommunications and hidden expectations. The Intimate...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a husband's desperate email about his wife's loss of sexual interest. Is the re anything he can do about it? A wife’s sex drive is negatively impacted by many obstacles and challenges. As a husband, don’t be another reason your wife doesn’t want to have sex!Prioritize the whole relationship and the sex will almost certainly improve. Sex is best when you both feel valued, appreciated and pursued.Nourish and cherish your wife. Anything you can do to...

Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ------------------------------------------------ In this episode, Matt & Jenn share several segments from previous live Q&A sessions which we haven't included in an episode before.  These leftovers won't be stale! Here's what we cover: Do you have any specific tips to train yourself to stop defaulting to "logistic" conversations and encourage more emotionally connective...

Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to listener feedback about the impacts of sexual shame on the marriage relationship. sexual shame results in sexual relationships that are disconnected & withdrawn. Sexual pursuers and responders tend to be impacted by sexual shame differently. Pursuers often bear unnecessary guilt for having sexual...

Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to two listener emails about one-sided sex and asking your spouse for orgasm.  The purpose of sexual desire is to point us toward intimate connection with God and with each other. When we fail to see the spiritual significance of sex, we miss the opportunity for fullness of pleasure and intimacy.Present...

Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors --  www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the biblical principles that should govern the use of sex toys in the holy marriage bed.  The Bible does not specifically address the use of sex toys in the marriage bed. But, even without a specific prohibition, careful consideration and wisdom are indicated.Sex toys can be useful for couples to...

Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer questions posed at the 2023 Nashville Marriage Day. We had a lovely time with this group and they asked some great questions, including: Do you have advice on communicating when needs aren't being met without coming across as selfish or making my spouse feel like a failure?In an effort to spice things up, is there anything a Christian couple should steer away from to protect your minds and...

Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn chat with Justin Gerhardt, creator of the Holy Ghost Stories Podcast AND our special guest performer at the Intimate Covenant Annual Marriage Retreat. Justin will be performing a live storytelling for our limited audience. This year, the Retreat is September 21-23 in The Woodlands, TX. Space is limited and we are...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer some of the questions from the Tampa Marriage Day 2023. Name the three greatest examples of marriage in the Bible.How to have a conversation with your spouse about something they think is “dirty”?What if I feel that I’ve married the wrong person?What does it look like to see my spouse as the image of God and hold them in awe? Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant: Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29  Shop from this...

In this episode Matt and Jenn respond to two listener questions regarding expectations about orgasm: My husband’s efficient/impatient personality prevents me from mentally and physically “getting there” for fear I’m taking too long. How do we strive for better?It feels like my husband only feels satisfied with our sex if I orgasm… but sometimes I don’t feel like orgasming but still want to please him… thoughts?How are these questions the same? What do these questions tell us about...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn reveal the guest performer for the Annual Marriage Retreat in September. Also, we'll share about our personal struggles in balancing this ministry and some restructuring of our vision for Intimate Covenant as we move forward into new opportunities. Look for the next intimate Covenant episode in TWO weeks, and every 2 weeks going forward. The Intimate Covenant Marriage Retreat is September 21-23. Registration opens on February 14th. This year, the Marriage...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share a recording from the Q&A session at a recent Marriage Day event in Dallas, TX.  Some challenging questions that we discussed are: How often should a couple have sex?How can we still have great sex with a house full of kids?What if we are both sexual responders?How can learn to stop pouting when I get rejected?What can be done about ED and other sexual dysfunction?What are common insecurities that wives face? Please support these companies that...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn are joined by Christian sex blogger and author (and friend), J. Parker of Hot, Holy & Humorous, to discuss the non-typical dynamic when the wife is the sexual pursuer. While not the majority, relationships where the wife has the higher sexual desire is certainly more common than many would think.Most of the time, this dynamic does not indicate physical, emotional, or spiritual problems in the relationship— it is simply a result of individual variability...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare all of the different birth control options -- how they work,  their advantages and disadvantages. The decision whether to use birth control should be carefully considered after you’ve considered whether your motivations stem from a sense of responsible use of God’s blessings in your life or whether you are being motivated by selfish and materialistic desires.The specific methodology of birth control that you use should be chosen based on important...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn encourage couples to make intentional and biblically informed decisions about birth control. The conversation about birth control must start by rejecting society’s notion that children are a negative to my personal life and to society. Rather, we must view children as God sees them — a sacred blessing and holy responsibility.That said, responsible management of childbearing does not seem to be defiant of God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” so long as...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their method of critically assessing the state of their own marital intimacy and some tips on how to have the conversation about setting goals for better connection.  For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.In setting relationship goals, I need to...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn consider the question, "What do I want from my marriage?" Is there a better question as we consider New Year's resolutions for our marriages? Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God.For this new year (and everyday), ask the questions, “What do I want FOR my marriage?” “What more can I give TO this covenant?”Begin the...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn suggest some meaningful wedding gift ideas that may not be on the engaged couple's registry. Rather than an arbitrary choice from the wedding registry, consider a more thoughtful and relationship-focused wedding gift for the newlyweds in your life.Providing resources for date nights or getaways is a great way to invest in a young couple.Professional counseling or coaching can be an incredibly impactful gift to help provide relationship and communication tools...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice and tips for planning a a special and intimate honeymoon experience. We're continuing our series aimed at not-yet-married couples. Share this episode with engaged couples that you know to help them avoid common pitfalls that lead to honeymoon disappointment. When planning your honeymoon, be mindful of the purpose of your honeymoon — i.e. to begin to explore your new sexual relationship and build a foundation for intimate connection.Prior to the...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice to couples who are not yet married, and to those of us who should be mentoring these premarital couples. Choosing your spouse is one of the most important and consequential decisions one will make. The way that we are dating will play an important part of getting this right.Premarital counseling, before and after engagement, is a crucially important investment in your future relationship.To best assess a potential spouse you need to be aware of...