Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn answer the following listener questions:What advice do you have for couples that have great sex but struggle talking about sex? We’ve tried conversation starters but the answers are always brief.I’m ashamed how much value I place on my spouses physical appearance. Self-improvement is a good virtue, but how do I ensure my motives are not immoral or shallowI enjoy sleeping naked. My wife hates it. How can I encourage her to try & embrace it reg...

Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share another set of clips from the Q&A session at our recent Annual Marriage Retreat. We cover the following questions:What ways can I warm my spouse up to more public displays of affection? Discuss navigating, in different seasons, sexual pursuer/responder roles switching. It's not a smooth transition and can be confusing.What if you are the sexual AND the emotional persuer??I love giving my wife oral pleasure. She never reciprocates ...

Send us a textThis episode is an excerpt from the live Q&A session at the 2024 Annual Marriage Retreat. We’re sharing our response to the following question: “Can you go into further detail on how the act of sex can glorify God?” We’re also sharing our responses to questions about sex toys, solo masturbation, modeling a healthy sexual relationship for your kids, and when to talk to your kids about pornography.We also want to thank the sponsors of this year's Retreat:Married DanceCoconuThe...

Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the complaint, "My spouse never initiates sex." So, whose job is it, anyway? How can I get my spouse to initiate more often?Whether it’s sexual connection or any other aspect of your relationship, if you sense a lack of it in your relationship, it’s up to you to initiate what is missing.If you feel like you are the only one initiating, keep striving. But, recognize — with gratitude — that your spouse may be contributing a whole lot more t...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare the sexual relationship to a hurricane. Sex, like a hurricane, is a powerful, God-given force. While we can’t direct the path of a hurricane, quiet the gale-force winds, or suppress the rising waters, we do have control over the effects of sex in our own marriages.The forces of a hurricane are mostly destructive. But the power of sexual desire can be channeled to constructive, passionate and intimate relationship.The damage of hurricane-driven wind and...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener's email from a wife who is feeling rejected because her husband, the usual sexual pursuer, has stopped initiating. We'll explore some of the reasons this might be happening and what she can do about it. Plus, we give some personal updates and exciting announcements about the future of Intimate Covenant.Sexual pursuers may stop for many reasons and it’s often more complicated that just hormones.A change in this dynamic in your relationship...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the latest TikTok relationship tests and whether there is something we can learn about our marriages from these viral trends. If you really want to test your relationship, pick up a mirror rather than a microscope. Only you can change you. “Turn towards” rather than “turning away” from your spouse by making and receiving bids for connection.Whether your prior rejections have been intentional or unintentional, challenge yourself to see...

In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the resurging popularity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. We'll consider the reasons why a couple might choose this option and whether it might be wise for your marriage. In addition, we'll discuss some of the consequences of spouses who have separate bedtimes.Every step we take away from our spouses, especially physically, has inevitable negative long-term consequences for the relationship. The decision to sleep apart should be weighed carefully ...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some experiences from their recent trip to China and some life-changing lessons they are bringing back. We think these lessons will impact your marriage too!It’s easy to lose focus on eternal priorities and purpose. Revisit this conversation with your spouse frequently.Changing your circumstances will not change your marriage. To improve your marriage, you have to lean into the conflict and learn to better serve your spouse.We are deeply grateful for all...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share excerpts from several different live Q&A sessions recorded at previous live events. - How do you differentiate between responsive sexual desire and a medical problem resulting in a lack of sex drive? - How can I keep striving for spiritual and emotional intimacy when my spouse is reluctant to do so? - How can I overcome shame in my physical appearance that hinders me from giving myself to and fully enjoying physical intimacy with my spouse? - Is it...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some important news and updates, including a fun blooper reel. There are multiple ways to help support Xander Moody and his family. GiveSendGo (https://www.givesendgo.com/supportxander) - This is a crowdfunding site launched by Xander's baseball team organization.  Blessings Overflow: Mail checks (avoid transaction fees) with “Xander Moody” in the memo line to:Blessings Overflow  9114 Hermitage Ln Alvaton, KY 42122 Venmo...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share segments from the live Q&A session at the Tampa Marriage Day on March 2nd, including: How to connect sexually, even during periods of conflictHow to learn contentment when I desire a certain sex act, but my spouse doesn’tHow to avoid complacency when things seem “good”How to navigate different preferences for sexual frequencyHow to encourage spiritual growth and accountability Don’t miss early-bird pricing for the Annual Marriage Retreat. Save your...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their responses to a few anonymous questions posed by attendees at a recent Marriage Day in Austin, TX. What are some ways we can help prevent our children from feeling shame about sex in marriage to stop the feeling we were raised with?Is it OK for me time in a successful marriage?How to deal with past relationships interfering with current one… as in constantly comparing oneself to another…If I am disinclined toward sex and my spouse feels guilty for...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener's question about shifting roles roles in the pursuer/responder dynamic. But first, a few important announcements: "Covenant Conversations" is the official name for the daily exercise formerly known as "Daily Check-in." Our thanks to Lamar Schrei for suggesting this!Registration for the Intimate Covenant Annual Marriage Retreat opens on Valentine's Day! www.intimatecovenant.com/retreatPlan to join us for the 7th annual Marriage Retreat in...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener’s question about struggling to recover from an infrequent and unhealthy sexual relationship. Struggles with sex in a marriage must not be ignored. Intervention and difficult conversations can save YEARS of suffering and shame; even save the marriage itself.The fundamental criteria for a wife to want more sex or different sex, is that the wife must have the expectation of sex worth having.The conflict of sexual frequency and/or sexual...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the accomplishments of 2023 and look forward to opportunities in 2024 for Intimate Covenant. We encourage you to do the same for your marriage with a State of the Covenant conversation.  For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.Please help support...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn describe, in detail, the 15-minute ritual conversation that will deepen the intimacy and connection in your marriage. Meaningful conversationExpressions of gratitude and praisePray togetherWe referred to these conversation starter resources: Ultimate Intimacy Conversation Starter Cards: https://shop.ultimateintimacy.com/products/conversation-starters-card-deckGottman Card Decks: https://www.gottman.com/couples/products/?fwp_couples_products=card-decksSend us...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer three listener questions about passionless sex: "How can I stop thinking of sex as an obligation when it's physically painful? While we wait for physical healing, how can I enjoy this part of our marriage?”“How do you navigate pleasing your spouse when you have no sexual desire and prefer not being touched at all?”“How can I enjoy a particular sex act that I get a lot of pleasure from but they do not, but they are willing to do it because they love...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss  how to handle the inevitable emotional and sexual rejections in your marriage relationship. Rejection almost always occurs due to multiple factors that have to do with how you are presenting the bid and with your spouse’s circumstances.Angry outbursts or pouting will not get you what you want - rather, these kinds of reactions prove that you are unsafe, self-centered, and undesirable.Instead, consider the perfect pursuer, Jesus. Even he gets rejected...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing several segments from Q&A sessions that didn't make it into a previous episode. But, these questions are too good to leave out, so we're excited to include them here! Here’s what we’re covering: How do I have sex when I’m disappointed in or upset with my spouse?How can we handle infertility with faith and godliness?Should we film ourselves having sex?How can I overcome body shame that is hindering my sexual enjoyment and relationship?How to...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn are pulling from submitted questions regarding the theme of female orgasms. Specifically, how can a husband help his wife orgasm? How can a wife learn to orgasm in different ways? And how important is a wife’s orgasm, anyway? Take-Aways:  Husbands often place far too much emphasis on their wives orgasm and miss the far more important goal of seeking connection during sex.If a wife seeks to improve her ability to orgasm, a better understanding of her barriers...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the hymen -- facts and fiction -- as well as other misconceptions about the concept of virginity. There is no “virginity test.” The presence, absence, or any other physical appearance of a hymen is not a reliable indicator of a woman’s previous sexual activity. The same is true for vaginal bleeding or pain with initial sexual experience. Every women has a different experience.“Virginity” does not determine someone’s worth as a person or as a future...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn reminisce over some of the highlights of this year's annual Marriage Retreat and share a segment from the live Q&A session, including: I'm too embarrassed to try new things. How do I get over my sexual shame?Sex is Messy.What's a reasonable sexual frequency for a male?How to deal with a busy and distracted spouse?Is sexual humor appropriate? We also want to thank our sponsors for contributing to the success of this year's Retreat: J. Parker of Hot, Holy...

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the challenges to great sex and the work required for the rewarding, lifelong journey of an intimate and fulfilling sexual relationship. Believing that great sex just occurs spontaneously and effortlessly is actually preventing us from achieving good sex.Great sex, like any other mastery, is the product of consistent, intentional work over time.Take responsibility for your part in growing your sexual relationship. Then, commit yourself to...