Well, everything wraps up and ends. It is a sad, sad say for Teege and Mary, as the Models, Inc. 'Cast comes to its inevitable end. Of course, we knew there was no second season when we started, but it doesn't make it any easier. Grayson's promised hitman arrives, accidentally killing Grayson at the wedding WITH NO VIABLE ESCAPE ROUTE, and chloroforms Carrie to Hell, Baby, Hooker Hell, somewhere in Central America. Sarah's dad comes to town and punches Ben in order to defend Sarah from...

It's almost over - unless someone comes through with the Models, Inc. reboot we've all been hoping for! This is the second to last episode ... and the final one before Mary watches the show again before recording a podcast about it. Does that mean she has been coming to this spin-off unprepared? You decide. Eric leaves his lady for good. Sarah has to turn on Grayson after failing a drug test, stripping with no memory of it, accidentally giving away $40,000 for one dance, and getting...

Is it Billy was flying high and crashed with Amanda? Or Michael's newfound commitment to his wife? Peter's chance with Amanda? Amanda's new contract? Who knows - whatever went up is now coming down. Melrose Place, now featuring child abuse. Or, are we going to find out that Lori's just a single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid and never stops, with a gentle hand and a heart of a fighter, she's a survivor? Bobby and Sydney are going to nowhere interesting, and fast. How is...

Can this title have been any more in appropriately selected? One google search for Triumph of the Will and we feel like we're on a watch list somewhere. Anyway - this week was fun. Amanda suddenly has a boss that's part of the ol' boys network, who totally has a bromance for Billy. To get her way to the top (?) of the agency that she is currently President of, she sleeps with Billy, while staring at the ceiling. To make it more demeaning, they did it at the conference, with Billy...

We have an all new special guest - the Boring undertaker herself comes on to discuss Melrose Place, and maybe, just maybe, confront Melrose Mary about the appropriate care of human cremains. Also, we talk about all things Melrose Place. Matt's sexuality, his relationships with David and Alan, Sydney, Peter, Amanda, and everyone in between. Look, we recorded this episode two weeks ago and I can't remember the plot details as I write it - but also Jane and Jo and Richard are...

We're heading headlong into the series finale, and there's just enough time to wrap things up messily. Sarah from Iowa is getting hooked on drugs by Ben, formerly Adam's goon, now Grayson's goon. This will drive Sarah into Hookers, Inc. Carrie is already in Hookers, Inc., having been driven to failure as a waitress by Grayson. She comes in handy when Grayson needs to blackmail a judge. Julie and Anna are heating up, as only step-sisters can. SISTERS! Anna all out kisses Craig in the...

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING! We interrupt your regular stream of Melrose Place content to discuss our hopes, dreams, and fears for the new Melrose Place Reboot. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

Imagine, if you will, Matt operating as a more dutiful best man / gay of honor for Michael and Sydney's wedding in season two? What would have happened if he had hired Rhonda's Culinary Funk to do the catering? "Does Michael know about this?" --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

It is like Christmas in the spring time, because much to our surprise, BETSY JONES HAS ARRIVED! We were expecting Betsy as a season five specialty, but here she is, ready to go! Additionally, Jo gets in on the blackmail business, although she's probably not going to be very good at it. Richard is now working for Jane, so that's awkward. Matt and Alan are in tuxedos on an altar, but sadly, there's a bride there as well. --- Send in a voice message:...

Imagine, if you will, what life would have looked like on Melrose Place if they couldn't land Heather Locklear as a permanent cast member, but still needed to do some stunt casting. What if they brought in: Monica Lewinski, looking to escape her scandal-prone life in DC, and Bozo The Clown, with a dark, and mysterious secret... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

We're heading for the series finale, and thanks to IMDB's summary of this episode, I am spoiled by one of the main storylines - specifically what Anna is doing here.  No worries though, I won't ruin it for the podcast description, which I assume is read by only a small percentage of people who listen to this. But, Julie's actual sister-friend, Anna (obnoxiously referred to as a step-sister over and over) shows up to get in good with Julie but she is rebuffed by phone, by the hot tub, and...

I think we all know who stole the show this week: Madge and Mabel! If you're rewatching along with us, you will no doubt agree that the characters of the week are the cantankerous old bags who think Billy has guts giving them a kick butt campaign. What else happened? Alycia and Peter are scheming to bring down Bobby. It seems clear to us that Peter is working Alycia with the lie about his father, but the writers haven't made it clear. Is it possible that they just wrote that into the...

The reboot hasn't happened ... YET. Instead, we ask our robot to help us imagine a scenario where the characters of Melrose Place are now running a small college. Scandal. Tomfoolery. Betrayal. Kimberly's ghost. I'd enroll. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

Well, the time has come for us to say goodbye to our first title-screened character since Rhonda walked out of Melrose Place and into her suburban catering empire. Brooke, we hardly knew ye. Your scheming face, your every-day-gal persona, and your blackmail skills have left a lasting mark on the Melrose Place universe. You'll actually be missed. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

Julie is growing and maturing as a person, as evidenced by setting up her boyfriend with a date. Sarah decides to have an abortion, but then avoids a car accident, apparently losing the baby. Cynthia is hospitalized, and has a heart to heart moment with Sarah and she decides she wants to live. As always, the real story is with Grayson, Adam, and Monique.  This is all about paternity, and who is the father.  Surprise, it's Adam. This show is getting so good and we're bummed that we know...

Well, Mary continues to be offended by the offensive and offending episode titles - this one about Brooke playing the role of satan in a dripping dress from her accidental drowning. We get into it this week - more fan mail, this time involving a purple urn, ala Paul Bearer in 1996. We also discuss Matt, Allen, and the alleged lesbian involved in their relationship. We discuss Amanda and Bobby, but only out of contractual necessity. But Peter and Alycia are at least interesting in this...

What a sad loss of potential it was for all of the Models, Inc. characters to be sent away when Hillary closed the business. Imagine, if you will, a scenario where David comes to LA, not knowing Amanda is his sister, and then... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

This is the end, it appears, for Brooke. Everything important to her has been taken - her marriage, her feud with Alison, her job, her Daddy, her fiance, her baby, her house, it's all gone, gone gone. She falls, hits her head on the pool, and floats in the water. So....? Meanwhile, Jake manifests a garage, allowing us to have perhaps the best zinger of the series, "I'm sorry, did I park in the middle of your company?" Bobby and Amanda ... dear god make it stop. They continue continuing...

Laugh all you want, but this show is getting better and better.  If they had a little more time, this would have had a run as long as Melrose Place. Cynthia's bulimia continues to worsen, causing her boyfriend to yell at her about her sexual assault in a public place and then break up with her at work as she is feeling lightheaded.  So his male feminist card is gone. Julie buys the movie rights to Skin Deep for "a buck and a blow job" (that's our term, not the term on the show) - and she...

Apparently, this was a play on the phrase "booby trap" - and it took Mary's English degree to figure it out. Bobby and Amanda are in mortal danger, although the end is not in doubt. Sydney is eating the most godawful bagel situation you could imagine. Even Michael is grossed out. Michael drugs Kimberly, and then is shocked that she doesn't want to get back together. Jane is recovering nicely, and drags Jake's dirty ass boots into the pool. Yuck. --- Send in a voice message:...

After the bombing, Michael would have had every right to be turned away from women. After the false murder accusation and arrest, Matt would have had every right to be turned away from men. But look, fellas still have needs.... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message

What's more offensive to the universe - Melrose Place's lack of a second comma in the title, or the fact that Jane's storyline is, and I hate to say this, interesting? Jane is mixed up with Sydney and Michael, plus a bit of Jo and Richard thanks to her paralysis. Sydney tries to shove her off into a nursing home, only to send her out into the ocean instead. Jake saves her. Speaking of Jake and saved, Bobby Parezzi appears to have cleared Jake's debt with the goon, making Bobby a boss...

Wow, the Melrose Place writers were not concerned about sensitivity with their episode titles this season. I wonder if we are eventually going to learn that Darren Starr was the one who prevented things like this for the first three seasons? We begin with Brooke's lifeless body being hauled out of her apartment, blood all over Billy, only for Peter to meaninglessly come down and say, "I'm a doctor. What's her status?" Why? Go back to Amanda's apartment! Later, while cleaning up the blood...

Just a quick little interlude into your regularly scheduled program to share our deliberations on naps. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melroseplacecast/message