In episode 10 we dig into perfectionism: how it affects us, why we hate it and how we kick it in the butt.
Key takeaways:
Using the term recovering perfectionist as opposed to just perfectionist is a way of acknowledging your perfectionist self whilst also pointing to the work you are doing to change thingsPerfectionism can be used as an excuse to keep working on something for minimal returnWe can roughly divide perfectionism in two, on the one hand inward perfectionism: i.e. I need myself or what I do to be perfect. And outward perfectionism: i.e. I need what others are or do to be perfectIf you experience a harsh inner perfectionist when working alone, try to collaborate with someone you like and respect and see if it helps lessen the feelingOften perfectionism is simply a protection against our fears. If you never start, you protect yourself against failure. Perfectionism and the inner critic are closely related. The former wants to make things perfect, the latter criticises what you’ve done. Both talk about a feeling of ‘not good enough’. When we compare ourselves to others or have an unattainable standard it can give rise to a feeling of ‘what’s the point’. But often it’s better to do something imperfectly than not do it at all. Showing up imperfectly is real and honestLet fun be your compassCan you try to actively be an anti-perfectionist? What rules can you break? What would that look like in your life and art?There is a tension point between what you want to be and what you are. You have to decide to what extent changing yourself or embracing yourself as you are is the right choice for you.If you keep putting in the work at a standard that is doable and sustainable to you, then in time the level you used to perceive as unattainable perfection will be the norm. You only grow by doing. There’s a difference between being proficient and being a perfectionist. Don’t let perfectionism stand in the way of learning and becoming proficient in your chosen field.
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