10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 04 - FIND YOUR DOM RIGHT Find your Dom right. Find your Man right. Find your Leader right. These can be guiding principles for navigating one’s relationship.  Keep this as the goal — finding your Dom/Man/Leader right.  When you are not finding them right, pause your connection and do whatever is needed to come back to finding them right. This principle does not imply that all Doms are always right.  Nor does it mean that all Men or...

CONVERSATION ABOUT UPCOMING BOULDER WORKSHOP I will be teaching an afternoon workshop in Boulder on 1/14/24. Conversing here about BDSM and Man-Woman Relating.   About men’s fear of actually getting new information and education regarding sexual mastery. The importance of getting accurate feedback from women in sex and relationships. The contempt before investigation attitudes towards BDSM in our culture. Attraction is measurable.  In this class, we will have women evaluate men...

PODCAST WITH AARON KLEINERMAN Conversing about BDSM, Eros in long-term relationships and other matters. — Om Rupani OmRupani.org www.OmRupani.org

TANTRIC FRAMEWORK FOR BDSM The way Laurie and I teach BDSM, we frame different types of BDSM play within how the energies are moving in different Chakras: Containment and somatic play, like rope bondage, sensation play, pain play, confinement play activate our energies in the 1st Chakra. All sexual play hits our 2nd Chakra — including arousal, forced orgasm, orgasm control, peaking. All esteem and psychological play, such as Humiliation Play, Exclusion Play, Degradation Play hits our...

CONTAINMENT IN MAN-WOMAN RELATING Containment is a skill very much needed to do BDSM well.  But this is a skill that is needed far and wide in all our relationships.  Certainly in romantic and intimate relationships between men and women, women are very much in need of receiving solid Containment from their men. Beyond romantic relationships, being able to give good Containment is a skill very much needed between parents and children, even bosses and employees. To learn more about this,...

CONTAINMENT & PENETRATION IN BDSM PLAY AND SENSUALITY It’s good to understand that sensual energies move in an UP & DOWN cyclical form. It’s good to master providing both of these phases to our partners in our sensual connections: CONTAINMENT involves the grounding and integrating phase of the energy. PENETRATION is the more stimulating and arousing phase of the cycle. ******************* Culturally, we are more aware of and have more emphasis on the Penetrative aspect of...

PODCAST WITH KELLY BROGAN ON MAN-WOMAN RELATING It’s always a pleasure to talk to Kelly, especially at such length, and get into the topics regarding Man-Woman Relating and Eros that we are both deeply curious about. Also mentioned in here is the new free mini-course I’ve just released : DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER. That course is available on my teaching website at OmRupani.com Kelly's Website : https://www.kellybroganmd.com/ — Om Rupani www.OmRupani.org

FREE MINI-COURSE : DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER Hello Everyone.  As more people these days are becoming curious about exploring a more polarized dynamic in their man-woman connections, there is a growing inquiry around how exactly can a couple go about doing this flavor of relating.  Men want to know how they might better step into their Dominant archetype.  Women have many concerns about what it means to be a submissive woman.  There is a lot of political charge...

OF VICTIMS AND VILLAINS. Why is it universally so that human beings would rather be victims than villains? Talk to two opposing parties — whether these opposing parties be quarreling countries or quarreling siblings or spouses.  Ask the two parties to give a tally of their actions.  On paper, their actions will likely seem identical.  Both of them have likely...

COMING SOON - FREE MINI-COURSE :  DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER As more men and women become curious about exploring a more polarized form of relating, the most common inquiry that is understandably coming my way these days is : ‘Well, how do we do this?’  How does one go about creating a polarized relationship dynamic and container?  What are the ingredients?  How does one cook this particular relationships dish? In answer to this increasingly common inquiry,...

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 03 - LISTEN FOR THE DESIRE UNDERNEATH THE DESIRE All people are lying all the time. Men lie. Women lie. In my observation, women like more than men and better than men. Why do we lie? We lie to get our way. We lie to avoid punishment. We lie in order to look good and avoid looking bad. I think women have a fourth reason for lying, which I think is their most common reason for lying.  I discuss that reason in this...

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 02 - DON’T BORE YOUR SUBMISSIVE! Boredom isn’t just a shallow thing.  Boredom is ultimately indicative of soul stagnation. Boredom indicates to us that our journeys have stalled. We are here seeking expansion.  We are here seeking experiences.  Our soul is on an arc. Our Eros is no exception to his.  Our erotic journey and self-expression is also an expressive arc. In a thriving Dom-sub dynamic, a great Dom understands this.  He...

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 01 - CONTAIN YOUR SUBMISSIVE People often ask whether BDSM principles and energetics can be applied to other relationships and dynamics.  I’ve heard too many bad answers to this inquiry.  I’ve decided to make my own series of conversations to talk about how the skills from a good and balanced D/s dynamic might be extrapolated to :  Non-BDSM / Vanilla relationships. Work dynamics where there is a Employer/employee, Leader/follower...

MEN SHOULD CARRY CATASTROPHE ON THEIR BACKS Keeping an eye on our future can be very clarifying. Whenever I see a man who seems lost in his life today, it is inevitably the case that he has lost his vision for the future that he is building. Having a vision for our future helps us align our energies.  It gives correct direction to where we should be spending our efforts today. It’s difficult to feel engaged with life without a vision for our future. **************** Considering that...

MEN ARE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH EACH OTHER FOR WOMEN There is a lot of talk these days about HYPERGAMY among men. The basic idea so many men have accepted regarding how women operate with men, how women select men is that women go for the top guys. The top 5% of men, or the top 10% or 20% of men get all the women.  The rest of the men are invisible to women.  The rest of the men are bound to be losers in the man-woman game. There is some data in dating apps that supports this...

A GARDENER’S MINDSET FOR BETTER LOVE & EROS A skilled gardener communes with each plant or tree he encounters.  He knows enough about plants to know how this particular plant is doing and how this plant might fair even better. He can tell if this plant would do better in more or less light, with more or less water, planted on this side of the garden or that. The good gardener contributes to each plant, tree or shrub he encounters. The good physician essentially operates in the...

CONTAINMENT 05 - HOW WOMEN CAN RECEIVE THEIR MAN’S CONTAINMENT BETTER Some women have been asking this questions after watching the previous videos I’ve put out on Containment.  These are some thoughts. Om Rupani — OmRupani.org www.OmRupani.org

THE CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WOMEN WHO REPEATEDLY FAIL IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN, COMPARED TO THE ONE’S WHO SUCCEED.  I believe the crucial difference between these two categories of women is the difference in one core belief they are carrying. The life they lead and what they create with men is actually in logical harmony with this single core belief. Without changing this core belief, it is impossible for women who actually do want to have successful partnerships with men to...

BE OF USE IN ORDER TO HAVE ESTEEM The idea of Self-Esteem is something that has become common knowledge.  We all think we know what it is.  There seems to be a general consensus that having high self-esteem is a good thing, and having low self-esteem is something that is regrettable and should be corrected. I am not sure about any of this regarding Self-Esteem.  And yet, I believe self-esteem is a real enough internal and relational phenomenon that it should be thought about and...

WHY THE COURTESAN ARCHETYPE IS THE OLDEST PROFESSION IN THE WORLD. I believe our human soul has always known that our Eros is a pathway to divinity. I believe that this is one of the core drives that pulls us towards sex.  We in fact are looking for God through sex.  We are looking for our original home through sex.  We are looking for the end to our separation identity through sex. We know this, and yet this knowing is murky for the vast majority of us. Even among the sacred...

GIVE CONTAINMENT TO YOUR WOMAN’S CORE, NOT TO HER EMOTIONS Even before being concerned with giving Containment to anyone, including your woman, it’s good as a man to have a distinction between your Core and your Emotions. A man himself should be anchored in his Core, and not be focused on the changing weather of his emotions.  One of the hallmarks of masculinity is: can a man stay centered in turbulent situations?  Can a man stay centered even when his own emotions might be stirred? Can...

MEN NEED TO DOMINATE THEIR MOTHERS This isn’t some kinky proposition.  It is an essential part of the individuation process for Men.  One of the hallmarks of a young boy transitioning into manhood is the shift in his relationship and his energies with his mother. I’m going to be very specific about what I mean by ‘dominate your mother’.  There are 6 metrics listed below.  As a man, evaluate yourself on each metric and see where you are.  My challenge to you is this — wherever in this list...

PLAY, JOY & INNOCENCE IN BDSM When people think of BDSM, the most common adjective that they bring up is ‘DARK’! BDSM is about Dark Eros!  Indeed it is! Or people think of it providing practitioners with Release and Healing.  Also true. TABOO is the other big word that is associated with this realm…and correctly so. But what is understood less is just how much FUN, PLAY, JOY, SILLINESS, MISCHIEVOUSNESS are also an integral part of scene play. As many people engage in BDSM to...

ANSWERING THE CALL OF THE COURTESAN ARCHETYPE The call of certain archetypes is simpler.  The call of other archetypes not so easy. There are archetypes that may be unpopular in our times.  Others are less respected by society than others. Grappling with our call towards any archetype is integral to our soul journey. The Courtesan’s call is a difficult one to answer.  It may be looked down upon.  It is often illegal.  It is deeply immersed in the society’s collective shadow and...

WE ARE BECOMING A LOYALTY-DAMAGED POPULATION It is a common saying that : Hurt People Hurt People. One big way I see this hurt playing out in our culture is through the experience of BETRAYAL. The experience that we are accumulating the most in our current culture of abundant dating and intimacy choices is the experience of Betrayal. And it isn’t even like there are two camps - one camp of people who are doing the betraying and another camp of the ones being betrayed. Everyone in...