In which the bountiful gifts of American advice columnists include a now-ubiquitious happy afterlife for pets, and John might lose a swordfight because he's too heavy for a chandelier. Certificate #29810.
In which an ancient linguistic and religious practice becomes a jaunty, ambulatory musical form before falling into decline, and John does not want to see condors in a hospital. Certificate #45133.
In which centuries of sterilization-happy doomsayers fail to predict a game-changing revolution in wheat, and Ken thinks Pakistan wants John to clean out his fridge. Certificate #2037.