Episodes
PATIO DATE DELAYED
While waiting to iron out the remaining wrinkles to successfully launch PATIO DATE, Ryan investigates competitor apps. Has the algorithm predetermined our fates? A TikTok rant. Snapchat influencers are bizarre.
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Published 11/09/23
Happy Patioween!
[0:00] Patio Date founder Ryan Rancier joins us to address some rumors making the rounds and updates us on the upcoming launch of the new app. Should sports commentating go the way of the dinosaurs? A hero takes action on the streets of Kelowna. The worst chip.
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Published 10/24/23
Two lone cowboys, Kurt and Ryan, host a popular podcast called "Patio Lanterns." Tired of their daily routines, they embarked on an adventure to find a place of peace and tranquility. Somewhere rural, closer to their roots.
As they journeyed through the wilderness, horses acting as extensions of their manhood, their bond deepened.
When they returned from the ranch, they recorded a special episode of their podcast, sharing their journey and feelings. The magical place, combined with their...
Published 10/15/23
Our longest episode ever.
Ryan travels to a small island where the goats outnumber the people. We discuss recent news such as the Mike Babcock resignation in Columbus and the Alien news out of Mexico. #FindKeith2023 update. Kurt wants to break up with his dental hygienist. Wasn't Tom Cruise supposed to go to space (or did he already)? Kurt gets h4cked on the livestream. A man makes too much money and he is mad.
Song of the Summer 2023 winner is announced...
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Published 09/19/23
Patio Lanterns High: Part IV
It's prom night and the school courtyard is transformed into a prom wonderland, adorned with twinkling lights and decorations. Kurt (fresh out of juvenile detention) and Ryan, navigate the big night and their rocky relationships.
- Is Morgan Wallen a real person?
- Randy avoids hurricanes and hits up Jumbo's Clown Room in Southern California
- Kurt heads to Northern California and runs into some Napa Rebobs
- Where is Keith Cook Carlson Ross #findkeith2023
- The...
Published 09/01/23
Patio Lanterns High: The Halloween Special coming soon...
"Patio Lanterns High" is a thrilling supernatural high school drama that delves into the mysteries of a cursed town, testing the bonds of friendship and bravery as its characters confront their deepest fears and unravel a centuries-old enigma.
- Aliens are real but who cares?
- Ryan and Kurt recreate a famous scene from The Fast and the Furious
- Ryan rants on raising money for a good cause
- Kim Mitchell stinks?
- Kurt has an...
Published 08/10/23
5 YEARS IN THE MAKING
Originally intended to be released in 2018, the (first) "lost" episode became a significant talking point over the years. It has evolved. And it's finally here. Enjoy.
Eddie Spaghetti, the moon pr team, poop from the sky, Coffey Anderson, Chase Rice, live studio audiences, Keith Cook Carlson Ross (VISIS), bears=deaf people, would you rathers, Wilford Brimley, Cinnabon, sex dolls, Paul Flart.
Featuring our favorite clips from the following episodes:
Bears, beets, deaf...
Published 08/01/23
Patio Lanterns High: Part III
- What happened to Threads?
- X Gon' Give It To Ya
- Jason Aldean cancelled
- Randy and Caveman hit up the silent disco
- A tip to stay cool and stretch out your pants
- What's going on with all these grasshoppers?
- An update on the Lost Episode
- SOTS nominations
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Published 07/26/23
This time on PATIO LANTERNS HIGH...
- Ryan forces Kurt to watch all the Mission: Impossible movies
- Kurt is KO'd by bacon and eggs
- Butter + bread + olive oil + barley + water type businesses
- LinkedIn lunatics and introducing Alexander Grant
- Threads is out and Ryan is a day 1 user
- SOTS nominations
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Published 07/12/23
We invite superfans Christina, Alix, and Sascha onto the podcast to discuss our current and past lives.
Just who is the Yellow-Vested Woman?
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Published 07/02/23
Kurt is back from Asia and Europe
- Oiled up babies wrestling bulls
- Turkish baths & slaps
- Ryan's extravagant baths
- Old people smell
- Beautiful Parisians
- We saw Fast X
[0:00] We discuss Kurt's travels
[57:30] Fast X (spoilers) discussion
Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast
Published 06/07/23
LOYAL TO THE OIL
Kurt gets oiled up in anticipation of Game 5 of the Edmonton Oilers vs Los Angeles Kings in the playoffs. Ryan goes off on naturopaths. We reflect back and look ahead as Patio Lanterns celebrates 5 years! Kurt's a little lost and hopes to find what he's looking for on his next big trip. Ryan turns to artificial intelligence to create his dating app In Real Life.
This episode is on YouTube. Check it out!
https://youtu.be/yszhSuifbGU
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Published 04/26/23
ELECT BIGFOOT FOR SHERIFF
- Kurt, the bachelor, heads down to the USA to celebrate
- Ryan describes his gory experience shaving his head
- A friend of the podcast's ass
- Does draft beer get you more drunk?
- Employers need to start writing their own cover letters
- Ryan's dating app "In Real Life"
Join the waitlist for In Real Life
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Published 04/13/23
FRIENDLY STALKERS ONLY PLEASE[0 mins]: Randy orders some new flattering jeans. Kurt contemplates quitting the gym after trying out some local spin classes. Street sweepers take over the local headlines.
[30:30 mins]: Friend of the show, Zoe, joins us on the patio. We discuss her recent move to London (England), dating, taking "the tube", and getting lost in the woods with Ryan.
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Published 03/26/23
Ryan gets corned by a pack of wild dogs in Mexico. We need a psychic to help Kurt get some damn sleep. The Valentine's Day effect sends ripples through the dating world. Kurt stars in a movie. Randy's insane travel toiletry bag. We let content run our lives.
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Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast
Published 03/09/23
We head to the mountains to relax and record this episode.
Randy finally tries the bidet. A man gets panini'd at the gym. The Fast X trailer. The Apple Music fake crowd noise halftime show. Kurt gets mistaken for Dylan Sprouse (again). Ryan teases a new business case. An increase in paranormal activity since the Chinese balloon was shot down. Physiotherapists vs chiropractors. Raising the decibel level of a conversation.
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Check...
Published 02/20/23
WET FEBRUARY HAS ARRIVED
Randy joins TikTok around the same time a Chinese surveillance balloon is spotted hovering over Eastern USA. One of us receives a special flower delivery. Another failed dating app and another successful ladies' spin night has Kurt on the lookout for girl friends. Do single male cat owners deserve another chance? A bot romances Kurt.
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Published 02/05/23
Dry January may be bad for your health. Kurt's attendance in accounting class is accounted for. The dating apps are all dried up - Kurt provides his definitive rankings of the ones you know, and the ones you don't. Ryan gets into an altercation over a pool table. *BREAKING NEWS* The cat clone from last year suffers a setback. Country artists not getting enough credit. Round sectional couches and why Randy wrecked a stranger's home. Use promo code FRANK20 for 20% off your first purchase at...
Published 01/19/23
LET'S GET PRIMITIVE
Randy hosts a holiday cocktail party with a surprising guest appearance. New Year's lives up to the hype! An AI takes control of Randy's life, one email at a time...Weather apps cannot be trusted. A heated debate on rice cookers.
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Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast
Published 01/04/23
ALTERNATE TITLE: Our dinner with Raud
Caveman and Randy with a special in-person Christmas episode. Randy introduces a new word. Adriene's extremely specific yoga videos. The stark contrast between morning and evening news. Are we out on partying? Kurt is a cat. We don't understand the Addams Family.
Find us on LinkedIn
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Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast
Published 12/18/22
The Penticton park bomber is locked up. Kurt is striving for hygge. Randy and Pa head out turkey hunting. Kurt does not like live music. More LinkedIn content. A mattress story. Luke Bryan's outrageous concerts.
You can support friend of the show, Jake T Carey, and programs devoted to men's health by donating here through Movember:
https://movember.com/m/13990077?mc=1
Find us on LinkedIn
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Check out our brand new...
Published 11/30/22
I am Dogelon. Dogelon Mars. Join me and together we will reach the stars.
The boys gaslight each other. Kurt considers moving his social media presence entirely to LinkedIn where people appreciate quality content. Cosplaying your job. Plumber problems. We try to figure out if we lost our 9 million dogelon mars coins.
Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast
Published 11/17/22
We're coming through your earbuds!
Kurt - inspired by his travels - installs a bidet at home! It's beach season and Ryan ranks all of Kelowna's beaches. Our thoughts on Midnights by Tswift (and a sidebar on deluxe albums). The Hell's Kitchen button on Kurt's remote. A funny feeling at the gym...
Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast
Published 11/03/22
Kurt finds himself. Again.
- Kurt is back from Bali & Singapore. Lots to discuss!
- Sentient robots & toilets.
- Jet lag isn't real.
- Loblaws gives Canadians the break they need.
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Published 10/20/22
SONG OF THE SUMMER 2022 REVEAL
Ryan joins the next big app for young people! Dodge discontinuing the Challenger and Charger and Vin Diesel is missing. Fans from across the world flock to Burnaby, BC for a chance to appear in Nickelback's new music video.
This episode is on YouTube. Check it out!
https://youtu.be/X8KYpNmMg7A
Check out our brand new website!
https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcast
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Published 09/08/22