Episodes
$jamesmichaelshannon2
Jake T. Carey joins us to accept recognition for nominating the eventual 2024 Song of the Summer winner, Porn Star Dancing. Stupid sexy vampires. Kurt is about to embark on another soul searching journey. Halloween is out of control. Discussing brain rot and niche instagram reels reaching our feeds.
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Published 10/31/24
MAKING RYAN'S HOUSE A HOME
Kurt visits Ryan in Nelson, BC. Patio Lanterns High Season 2 brainstorm. We listen to the night train. Kurt volunteers. A key sponsor makes a comeback. Are towns too weird?
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Published 10/14/24
BLUE SKIES AND CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER, AMEN
Ryan says farewell to Kelowna (and Best of Kelowna). After much deliberation we arrive at the Song of the Summer 2024.
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Published 09/26/24
THE FINAL FOUR
The Song of the Summer nominations battle it out in a 16 team bracket.
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Published 09/11/24
THIS IS THE STORY OF A VERY TALL MAN...
Ryan is looking for a fresh start in Nelson. Song of the Summer nominations are locked in. What has Alexander Grant been up to recently? Kurt watches Longlegs.
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Published 08/29/24
INTRODUCING LORD KURT & LORD RYAN
Randy's localized phone plan. Boring jobs and boring people, why does everyone make everything so boring!!? Doctors being egomaniacs. Ryan's quest filled weekend in Vancouver.
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Published 08/15/24
The Daily did WHAT!?
We attend another silent disco. Ryan makes a big purchase. Does Michael Barbaro know what the Daily did with their July 24th, 2024 episode "The Lingering Questions about the Attempt to Kill Trump"?
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Published 07/31/24
DID THEY SHOOT THE MONKEY?
Ryan doesn't know how to pronounce Harambe. The return of digital cameras. A familiar name in the headlines again. Randy's obsession with water. A recent shooting makes us ponder if monkeys should be able to own guns. Zach Bryan and Taylor Swift are inevitable.
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Published 07/16/24
JUSTICE FOR RACHEL
The Stanley Cup Final is over but Kurt is still not nervous. Ryan tries out the pork chops in Lumby. It's a crop top hot boy summer. We break down the television show, Succession, which only just recently ended.
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Published 06/26/24
PODATHON CANCELLED
Ryan has a few too many mountain brews on his hike to Tuktoyaktuk. Kurt believes Arizona should be shut down. An uplifting story about the village of Elmswood. Joe Pavelski sucks! Dixon Dallas discovery. Best Local Podcast results...
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Published 06/13/24
APES BAD
Ryan takes a road trip and ranks the communities within the East Kootenays. There's a bee infestation at Kurt's gym. Feeding Ryan brain nourishment on Instagram. Kurt's thoughts on Godzilla x Kong & Planet of the Apes. AI gaining momentum. Making the podcast more hygge.
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Published 05/29/24
VOTE PATIO LANTERNS
- a public pooper is on the loose in the Okanagan
- Brian Kelley vs Tyler Hubbard -> we get you up to speed on the hottest feud in country music
- Ludacris ARRIVES on our Song of the Summer list (or does he?)
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Published 05/15/24
VOTE PATIO LANTERNS
We have been nominated for Best Local Podcast. NHL playoff talk. Taylor Swift discussion. Where is Pierre McGuire? The mysterious monkey king. Song of the Summer nominations are open!
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Published 05/01/24
POUR ONE OUT FOR OJ
Cicadas infestation incoming? The Canadian Country Music Awards are coming to Kelowna. How you laying (when you go to sleep)? The internet's dying. O.J. Simpson was "alert and chilling" on the couch drinking beer, watching TV 2 weeks before he died, lawyer says.
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Published 04/18/24
Announcing our campaign for:
Best local influencer
Best local podcast
Best overall Instagram account
Best overall TikTok account
Kelowna's pit. Pooping wonderland. Jake Gyllenhaal should be ashamed for his physique in "Roadhouse". Gym contracts. Rest in peace Kevin the goose.
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Published 04/07/24
We're speaking the Tennessee Truth
Spring garden goals. Kurt shares a plane with a celebrity on his way to California. BK and TJ of Florida Georgia Line reach Ross/Rachel levels of sexual tension. Pigeon talk boils over. Airports need to smarten up.
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Published 03/26/24
One hand on the wheel. Long, deep breaths. Caveman owns this road.
Kurt is back from Iceland with much to talk about including: his rental car freaking out and taking control of the wheel intermittently, no bathroom breaks, no lunch breaks, Iceland being a country boy's dream. The cat cloning lady is back! Randy listens intently.
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Published 03/10/24
SPONGEBOB SUPER BOWL
Somebody poisoned Kelowna's trees, and they're still out there! The K-man begins grinding his way to corporate king status. Randy's insane ear muff headphones. Kurt dating in 3 cities at once. Manifesting tragedy for podcast content. Kurt prepares for his trip ahead to Iceland to chase volcano content.
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Published 02/14/24
Featuring our favorite gameshow "WRITE IT OFF"
Quick Patio Date update. A fortune from a fortune cookie comes true. We play every accountant's favorite game, WRITE IT OFF. We discuss our interest in rearing kids, how many kids we'd like to rear (if any), and why or why not we think it's a good idea to rear these kids. Kurt opens up a world of possibilities on Hinge with one simple trick. Kurt recounts a romantic comedy experience on a plane to Paris.
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Published 02/05/24
WE BLEW OUR CONTENT IN THE FIRST HALF
Aliens invade - are you getting drafted? Ryan has an ethical dilemma at the grocery store. Setting up a mugging on your first date. Our thoughts on lo-fi music. Getting into a serious car crash to meet your life partner. Is there a podathon in our future?
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Published 01/21/24
Happy New Year? Kurt explains his Cinderella experience after Raudz. Kurt and Ryan consider releasing invasive species into the Okanagan. Ryan becomes enthralled in TikTok academia. Epstein Island. Kurt announces that he is leaving the podcast again to go and find himself again. Would you pay money to avoid children in your day-to-day? What about old people?
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Published 01/09/24
PATIO LANTERNS HIGH: EPISODE 5 (SEASON FINALE)
Old friends Wallace (Kurt) and Andre (Randy) haven't seen each another in one week and agree to meet for dinner. Andre, a once well-known biologist, dropped out of the island scene to travel the province, while Wallace stuck around, finding only mixed success as a podcaster. As they sit down to eat, Andre launches into a series of fantastic stories from his time away, and Wallace can't help but notice how different their worldviews have...
Published 12/24/23
We've still got each other
A change to the BC Ferries reservation system has Randy fuming. Twin Peaks has us hooked! Kurt redownloads Tinder while Randy tries out Hinge premium. Who was Patio Lanterns' #1 listener from 2023? Thoughts on audiobooks. A discussion on the sudden rise in popularity of the divorced dad rock band, Creed. Should we try approaching women in real life?
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Published 12/07/23
Crispy on the outside, tender and moist on the inside.
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman is booted out of the company. Fall is the time for relaxing or to be a piece of shit. The dating market takes a turn for the worse as we close in on the holidays. Ryan is trying out turtlenecks. Kurt is putting on a thick winter coat. Kurt starts watching the interesting and somewhat bizarre television show, Twin Peaks. After three years, Kurt and Ryan both beat Red Dead Redemption 2. Former OpenAI CEO Sam Altman is...
Published 11/23/23