Get out your thinking caps - this episode is heady and I had to rewind many many times to re-listen while I was working on these show notes.  We are talking empathy (and intimacy and conviction) today.  I believe that empathy is one of the key ingredients that will help her heart heal within the context of the couple-ship.  So developing empathy is KEY. We talk neuroanatomy:  prefrontal cortex, mirror neurons, cortical hypofrontality and modeling of empathy from others.  We also talk biblical anthropology:  the holy spirit interacting with our spirit and in that there can be a cultivation of conviction, humility, a sense of our own brokenness, love, and repentance. It’s the interplay between the two of these - the neuranatomy + the biblical anthropology that help cultivate empathy.  Both - And. Action Items for men that are struggling to find conviction or have more of a self-depricating conviction (which can lead to empathy): Write your story or revisit your written story and where the wounds are from childhood. Two book recommendations (see below) Reflect on:  what am I afraid of when coming to terms with the depths of my depravity? Be aware of your “depravity floor” - and come to terms with the fact that we can all do bad things on really good days and thus need ALL of God’s grace. We end by sharing a list of things that can help with developing empathy: Doing a formal disclosure well Modeling from other men that are empathic (accountability group, coach, therapist, etc.) Story work / root work Living with sobriety / integrity (acting out AND acting in) Gratitude Tilling the soil of your heart (for her) Ultimately - empathy and intimacy go hand in hand.  As Jason said - intimacy is the antidote, at every turn. We hope this is helpful for you guys! We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us for Season #6. The two books that Jason recommended:  Abba’s Child by Brendan Manning and With by Skye Jethani Episode #6 is one you can also refer to for more on empathy - The Importance of Empathy (not Sympathy). Make sure you download the Podcast Freebies! You can do that here.   Would love for you to consider joining me at the Fall 2024 Retreat - you can join the wait list here.  Would also love for you to join me in the 2Q Boundary Class - registration opens TODAY. For more information on RL Academy, click here. Join the community on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.