In this double feature episode we talk about Chowsy Cheddars being an orphan, the disappointing Sabrina cameo, Betty’s love language being stabbing, an hour-long Marry the Night performance, Cheryl’s immortal life not making any sense, how the Rivervale universe has an impenetrable logic, the writer’s room being a bunch of kindergartners, no one being able to read contracts, and a soup-er fun game of Soup, Salad, or Breadstick.