Episodes
Week 4 brings us to “The Roommate”, a garbage and fedora filled movie that we both hated. We talk confusing 2000s movies, how this movie stars a fedora and belly button ring, and cat horror (#JusticeforCuddles). This movie was real bad and we do not recommend it, but if you like bad fashion this might be for you. Rate and review or we’ll draw 1 million creepy portraits of you.
Stats/info: 2011, directed by Christian E. Christiansen, starring Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet,...
Published 05/25/21
Week 3 of, “Now Streaming on Netflix” month brings us to 2009’s, “Case 39” and well, it’s not good. Basically this movie is boring as sh*t and is way too long. Join us as we sing an out of tune and out of sync rendition of the Kim Possible theme song, discuss the ol’ hansel and gretel method, and how much demon kids love brushing hair and holding hands. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’ll be taking on your very own case 39.
Stats/info: 2009, directed by Christian Alvart, starring...
Published 05/18/21
Welcome back Halle! This week we watch Jen’s favorite childhood movie - Gothika. We’re not completely sure what Gothika means, however we do know what “Not Alone” means after Halle changes the explanation 3 times. We discuss a Gothika/Osmosis Jones crossover, ghost Jesus carrying you bridal style, and how if we ever get haunted, we want a nicer ghost. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll come and possess you!
Stats/info: 2003, directed by Mathieu Kassovitz, starring Halle Berry,...
Published 05/11/21
New month, new theme. This month we’re watching movies now streaming on Netflix! We kick off this month by watching 2016’s, “The Boy.” Let’s be clear, you’re either going to enjoy this movie or hate it...it all depends on if you enjoy a “man in the wall” storyline. Join us as we discuss the ick factor of the man in the wall, the grocery man, and following strict schedules. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’re on doll babysitting duty!
Stats/info: 2016, directed by William Brent...
Published 05/03/21
This week we watch the remake of 1988’s Child Play, and were very unimpressed. We talk about Chucky and Andy’s dysfunctional relationship, neglectful parenting, suburban watermelon patches, and the moment we would have yeeted a Buddi doll out of the house. We’re #TeamAnnabelle in this fight, for sure. Rate and subscribe or you’ll never have a Buddi doll.
Stats/info: 2019, directed by Lars Klevberg, starring Aubrey Plaza, Gabriel Bateman, Brian Tyree Henry and Mark Hamill
Published 04/27/21
Make it gnarly and they will come. This week we watch 2009’s, “Friday the 13th!” Is it a bummer? Yes. Is it the worst Friday the 13th movie in the franchise? Nah. Join us as we discuss How this movie and Transformers are somehow in the same universe, how Jay boi hates weed, Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, women’s nipples, and baby oil, and how there was a missed opportunity for Jason to be driving a speedboat. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’ll be on camp up keep this summer!
Stats/info:...
Published 04/19/21
2nd week of remake month brings us to a movie we both enjoy - Fright Night! We dissect the Twilight and Minority Report references, rollercoasters of emotions that Colin Farrell makes us feel (Parental Warning), and how Evil Ed is definitely #MisunderstoodEd. We love everyone in this movie, so buckle up for fawning over everyone. Be sure to rate and subscribe or we’ll send Jerry the Vampire after you.
Stats/info: 2011, directed by Craig Gillespie, starring Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell,...
Published 04/11/21
New month, new theme, we bring you...REMAKE MONTH. Kicking it off is 2008’s “Prom Night,” so loosely based on the OG movie that they’re 3rd cousins twice removed and from different planets. Join us as we discuss Idris Elba’s life choices aka being in these shite movies, nondescript black-cap law, and our own prom experiences. Molly has an important PSA so listen up, folks. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll show you a powerpoint presentation of our own prom pictures.
Stats/info:...
Published 04/06/21
Final week in possession month leads us to a very unimpressive movie - Evil Dead remake. We discuss the science of how water + sugar = blood, cat worms making you a zombie demon, how long you have to bury someone before they’re exorcised, and how David just straight up SUCKS. Mostly, we just think this movie was made (at least in part) as a personal revenge fantasy against some teacher called Eric. Be sure to rate and subscribe or we’ll defib you.
Stats/info: 2013 directed by Fede Álvarez,...
Published 03/29/21
Annabelle is back and being treated like the queen she is for week 3 of [doll] possession week. We enjoyed watching 2019’s, “Annabelle Comes Home” where Annabelle gathers all of her demon friends and party it up in the Warren’s home. Join us as we discuss the dangers of having a room full of possessed objects in your house, Annabelle’s need to “lean with it, rock with it,” and the missed opportunity to have a ‘Bye Bye Man’ and Annabelle crossover. Be sure to rate and subscribe or you’ll have...
Published 03/23/21
Week 2 of doll possession month brings us to Annabelle: Creation, the prequel to the not-so-great movie Annabelle. People are failing vibe checks, children are getting yeeted everywhere, demons are transatlantic teleporting, we don’t understand how the demon’s powers work, and Jen is impressed with none of it. Be sure to rate and subscribe or we’ll put your doll conduit in a closet.
Stats/info: 2017, directed by David F. Sandberg, starring Stephanie Sigman, Talitha Bateman, Anthony LaPaglia,...
Published 03/14/21
Hellooooooo March! This month we’re going [doll] possession and opening up the theme is 2007’s, “Dead Silence!” This is essentially Night of the Living Dummy but with a little bit more Scooby-Doo action. Join us as we discuss doll lore, how to handle being sent a ventriloquist dummy, and slight over reactions to being heckled by a 10 year old. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll send Mary Shaw to your house for your tongue.
Stats/info: 2007, directed by James Wan, starring Ryan...
Published 03/08/21
The viewers have spoken! This week we watched The Love Witch, an excellent 1960’s weird and witchy horror tribute. This week we talk white guy face blindness, carrying around piss bottles, and most importantly, what year is it??? Be sure to rate and subscribe or we will send you a witch bottle.
Stats/info: 2016, directed by Anna Biller, starring Samantha Robinson, Gian Keys, Laura Waddell, and Jeffrey Vincent Parise
Published 02/28/21
Welcome to week 3 of horror romance month. This week served up some real lukewarm content with 2014’s, “Life After Beth.” It was one of those movies that didn’t know what it wanted to be and just tried to dang hard. Join us as we discuss mortician practices, zombie law, and the fact that this is a prime cast of actors but it didn’t deliver. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’ll be thrown into a lukewarm liquid of your choosing.
Stats/info: 2014, Directed by Jeff Baena, starring...
Published 02/23/21
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your zombie lovers/friends. We. Love. This. Movie. We did have some questions though. What’s the timeline? BZ? AZ? BZE? Who else died in Julie’s life? Should we develop a program in case of zombies to just give them each a kiss? Were R’s feelings for Julie real? Where did she get that weed wacker? In any case, make sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’ll never get true love’s kiss.
Stats/info: 2013, written by Jonathan Levine, starring Nicholas Hoult,...
Published 02/14/21
Welcome to February aka Horror Romance month! We’re starting out with 1998’s, “Bride of Chucky!” This one was a real delight. Who doesn’t love a woeful doll couple just trying to work out their relationship problems? Join us as we discuss granting power on multiple occasions, Jennifer Tilly’s iconic look, and Jen adding another actor impression to her repertoire. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll summon the power to curse thee!
Stats/info: 1998, directed by Ronny Yu, starring...
Published 02/07/21
This week watch a movie full of choices, featuring the mother of all choices - Eddie Redmayne’s voice. Honeybee boys? That’s a choice. Human goo? That’s a choice. Roller-skating dog boys? THAT’S A CHOICE. We have a lot of questions, most of them starting with “Why?”. We did not enjoy this one, but at least space looked great! Rate and subscribe or we’ll come give you way too much confusing exposition about space law.
Stats/info: 2015, directed by the Wachowskis, starring Channing Tatum, Mila...
Published 01/25/21
What do you get when you cross the story of Frankenstein, Bill Nighy, and gargoyles? You get pure bad garbage, that’s what you get. This week we watched 2014’2, “I, Frankenstein” and it was the best yet worst kind of trip we’ve taken in a while. Join us as we discuss the High Order of Gargoyles, Gargoyles fashion choices, and the superiority that is Bill Nighy. We take a quick detour into the lore of Pinocchio so...enjoy. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’ll find yourself in the...
Published 01/18/21
This week we watch the cult classic - Repo! The Genetic Opera...which unfortunately means you get to hear Jen sing for a full 45 minutes. We discuss the job description of Repo Man (Repo People? How many are there? How much do you get paid?), if you invite your jilted ex lover to your wedding, and how many secret passageways are in this house (hint, it’s at least 2). Please rate and review or next week there will be more terrible singing.
Stats/info: 2008, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman,...
Published 01/10/21
TW: sexual assault is mentioned in this episode.
New year, new month, new theme! This month we are tackling genetically engineered...stuff...We kick off this month with 2009’s, “Splice!” Ufda. This movie was WEIRD and not really in a good way. Join us as we discuss if Adrien Brody is hot, what the heck they spliced human DNA with, and the gross, gross, turn of events at the end of the movie. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll splice your DNA with a fish...or a dog...or a...
Published 01/03/21
This week we watch After, another terrible movie based on a terrible One Direction fanfiction. We discuss literature we hate, Cruel Intentions rip offs, and try to determine what Chancellors do. Jen impresses everyone with her Lord Voldemort/Hardin Scott impression and we try to figure out if the writer of this fanfiction knows what college is really like. Rate and subscribe or we’ll do more terrible English accents.
Stats/info: 2019, directed by Jenny Gage, starring Josephine Langford and...
Published 12/27/20
Well...that series was a trip. This week we finish off the 50 Shades of Grey series with the third movie, “50 Shades Freed.” I bet you can already guess how many Dorito’s we give it. Join us as we discuss how Ana has a secret passion of being a barber, the piano is back but it’s not post-coital, and how Ana continues to be surprised rich boi Christain owns extravagant things. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll sign out of each episode by saying, “laters baby.”
Stats/info: 2018,...
Published 12/21/20
This week we watch the terrible sequel, 50 Shades Darker, featuring more cringey lines, but at least we got some cringey drama to distract from their cringey relationship. We discuss obvious villains, sexy cooking, and who Boyce Fox is. Does he have a Twilight counterpart? Is he based on a real person? WHY DOES ANNA MENTION HIM A MINIMUM OF 10 TIMES AND WHY DO WE NOT EVER SEE HIM? Rate and subscribe or we’ll make you watch this movie, Clockwork Orange Style.
Stats/info: 2017, directed by...
Published 12/14/20
*singing to the tune of Wham! Last Christmas* “Last Christmas we gave you Twilight but the very next year we gave you fanfic.” Yep, new month, new theme and this month we’re covering fanfic movies! The 50 Shades of Grey trilogy is based on Twilight fanfiction so we’re kicking off the month with 2015’s, “50 Shades of Grey!” Join us as we try and find the similarities to Twilight, discuss toast clause, morning breath, and play rooms (not to be confused by Xbox rooms). If the discussion of...
Published 12/07/20