SWM 144 - Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life. This led into a larger discussion about why women tend to have more hangups about sex than men do.  I shared my...

I feel like I have some explaining to do.  A couple of weeks ago, I shared that lately, Christina and I have started having sex a lot more than usual.  We had more sexual encounters last month than there were days in the month.  We’re at about 30 for this month already.  This has led to some questions by some people.  I wrote a large thread in our supporter’s forum to try and answer them all and thought it might be helpful here.  Because it goes beyond just an “ask me anything” sort of post. ...

August 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: ExhibitionismNo sex in 4 monthsShould I disclose previous porn struggles to fianceeOther resourcesWhat qualifies as mutual masturbationNeed rougher sex to orgasmHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Dealing with differing sex drives in marriage (page)MarriedDance.com (store)RomanticBlessings.com (store - US...

Agust 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Wife trades chores for sexHow to handle no sex due to birthWater-based lube that doesn’t cause UTIsGuy’s relationships always end in affairsPost-childbirth and penis size preferencesWife is a gatekeeperHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Sliquid H20 Lube (product)How does breast or penis size affect sex...

July 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Wife’s love dependent on moodWhy don’t you direct people to God?Can’t seem to manage other positionsWife rejects exploration and being seenNervous about sex outdoorsCrossdressing rehashHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Responsive vs Spontaneous Desire - The Lion Within Us (podcast)Your definition of gross...

SWM 139 - Why won't my spouse do x? I would do it for them. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Recently, I’ve noticed a question popping up all over the place. It’s come up in our supporter forum, coaching sessions, emails, comments in our latest survey, and more. This question points to a fundamental tension in many marriages - at the root of it is a self-centric desire. The desire for our spouse to serve our own needs and expectations. Whether it's about sex or more...

SWM 138 - BDSM Survey Results. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities didn’t think what they were doing qualified, others who...

SWM 137 - Why we don't spank our children. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Last week, Gary Thomas posted an article on his substack on the topic of discipline vs. punishment—not taking a stance but rather offering it up as a controversial conversation starter. Reading it made me curious about something—does your view of hell change your parenting approach? After all, if God is our example, and you believe that hell is eternal punishment, does that then lend to a more...

June 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Wife thinks she has to be mean to our childrenGolden showers (again)Wife can’t decide if she loves me or notJust because you’re experienced, doesn’t mean you’re qualifiedHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: SWM 029 - Fantasy affairs, anal sex, golden showers, work during sex and low drivesBDSM SurveyFollow us on...

SWM 135 - It's good to try new things. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point.  Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers.  When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made.  “It’s good to try new things.”  They didn’t have to eat it all but had to try it—a decent try, not a touch to...

May 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: How often should a healthy man need sex?Clitoral piercingHow do we start talking about sex without hurt feelings?Is it good to m********e to stay in a sexless marriageProfessional nude photos with a male photographerNewly married wife only interested in the same sexual routineBecoming a Christian didn't fix my same-sex...

SWM 133 - Loving your spouse where they are. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. I often give beginner homework to my coaching clients. A few of them will likely read this and think, “He was talking about me.” You’re not wrong, but you’re also not alone. I give it out frequently because it helps combat some fundamental problems I see in many marriages: resentment, unmet expectations, and continued disappointment. Whatever caused the resentment doesn’t matter. If you want...

SWM 132 - Breast implants and body image issues. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. This episode I'm answer a question I received back in February that I forgot to answer. Here's the question: Hi! To start, I just wanted to say thank you so much for what you do! Your podcast has been immensely eye-opening and helpful! Now, to my question. I am in my 30s, and my husband and I have been together for 15 years. There was porn use by my husband that nearly tore us apart, but...

SWM 131 - Tips to fight more effectively in your marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Last week, I shared a list of ideas our Couple’s Night group had that helped build a resilient marriage. At the end of the call, we still had some time and started discussing fighting more effectively. Again, the group came up with some excellent ideas I want to share today. Because fights will happen, I might even say they should happen.  When I come across a couple that...

SWM 130 - Building Resiliency in Marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. On the first Tuesday of every month, Chris from TheLionWithin.us and I co-host "Couple's Night."  Couples from our communities get together to talk about marriage. We discuss struggles, share ideas, tips, and a lot of funny stories. It's an absolute blast This Tuesday, we got together and talked about resiliency in marriage. There were about six couples in the Zoom call, and I thought they all...

April 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Can Christians be swingers?Chastity devicesSex and orgasm headachesWife only wants one oral sex position, which he hatesWorried about staminaTrying to spice things upHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Becoming more sexually engaged (course)System Jo flavoured lube (shop)Our Sexploration List (resource)Our...

SWM 128 - Marriages require recalibration. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. There’s an old quip about how men get married expecting their wives to stay the same, and women get married expecting to be able to change their men, and neither gets what they want. It’s funny because often, there’s an element of truth to this, which frustrates both spouses. Of course, it doesn’t apply to every marriage, and sometimes the dynamic is reversed, but what is expected of every...

March 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Why am I not interested in sexy any more after having a baby?How do I get my wife to rest without guilt?Why does my wife dismiss my advice when she asks for it?How do I get my wife engaged in sexual growth?Are men infatuated with their ejaculate?Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Where did my sex drive go?Follow...

SWM 126 - Unspoken nuances of understanding. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Marriage is a cosmic tapestry, a constellation of souls woven into the fabric of time, where vows echo in the heart's language, shaping a journey of shared whispers and laughter. It's a dance of compromise and compassion, a symphony where individual melodies blend into a shared harmony, with time sculpting the narrative of a joint odyssey. Amidst life's tempests, love's resilience is tested,...

SWM 125 - Rethinking Duty Sex. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. I've had a lot of conversations with couples as well as husbands and wives individually lately about what often gets called "duty sex" or "pity sex." For those who don't know, duty/pity sex is when one spouse gives in to sex, not because they desire it themselves, but because their spouse does. They might have sex for many reasons, including feeling obligated, pressured, guilty, to keep the peace or to...

SWM 124 - My daughter's speech - A vaccine against the epidemic of transgenderism. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Today I've got something a bit different than the usual fare. Last year, for our 100th episode, I had my eldest daughter present her 4H speech as I felt it fit the scope of this blog. This year, she wrote a part 2. She won at her local club, and placed second at districts. So, we thought we'd record a version for the podcast again. Rather than give...

January and February 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: The monthly masturbation challengeHow do I make anal sex enjoyable for her?Periods and vacations and sexAging and orgasm strugglesHow do I know if I’m in right?Does fantasizing about my husband make it a shared experience?Condoms for handjobsResources for newlywed virginsHere are the links I mentioned during the...

SWM 122 - How to make your spouse more attractive to you. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. If you look online, you can find tons of videos, articles, podcasts, products and more about how to make yourself more attractive to your spouse or potential partners. I mean, it's everywhere. You can also find resources to help you make your spouse more attractive by changing them. What you don't see much of, though, are resources to help you change your mindset to make them...

SWM 121 - Why marriage should be hard work. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. I made a post on social media some time ago saying, “Marriage is hard, divorce is hard, choose your hard,” and someone asked me if I then disagreed with some other bloggers and podcasters who say that marriage is and should be easy.  This post expands on what I wrote in response to that question. There is a trend these days to water down Christianity and make it easy.  In the times of the...