No topic is off-limits for the upcoming return of our Omnibus Questions, as we demonstrate in this episode by tackling such issues as pre-Reformation papal indulgences. And if you were to guess which host brought up that little historical nugget, you'd be wrong! Possible questions: who would win in a street fight, J.G. Fichte or Nietzsche? Do sheep poop? Who is the best member of Team Avatar? (Fichte, yes, and Appa, respectively)  02:17 AYURIS: It's a Wonderful World (Frédéric Guérard, La...

While we have little experience with Ed Sullivan's TV offerings, his legacy is a fascinating one. While he capitulated to pressure during the Red Scare, he did show remarkable courage in platforming African American performers despite opposition from his sponsors. Quite surprising is that the illness that eventually killed him was kept a secret from him by his family, a practise that was already frowned on in the United States by the seventies but is still widespread in many parts of the...

It is said that both politics and religion are not good conversational fodder among people you don't know well (and perhaps not even for people with whom you are close), but sadly those are among Mark's favourite topics. The sun having been devoured may cause the astronomers to be delighted, but Mark knows a portent when he sees one, and he is confident some kind of sacrifice to appease violent spirits is in order. Walker escalates things by invoking the divine right of kings, the...

I never really understood the term "undead." I mean, it's a binary, right? If it's not dead it must be alive, at least in the context of things that could or were once alive. The negation never seemed to be doing enough work to imply what it was intended to imply. That is, until Walker and Mark got sick. They're not dead, but going straight to "alive" seems a rather hopeful exaggeration. Undead seems appropriate for now. 01:47 AYURIS: Carnegie (Xavier Georges, Quined Games, 2022) Games...

We haul ourselves off of our deathbeds to deliver this episode unto you. Prospects for our recovery seem dim, but we would sooner die than deprive you of that which is most sacred--namely content. Of course, illness may yet claim us, but we are far too stoic and noble to complain. 01:49 AYURIS: Stroganov (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 04:46 -Hissy Fit (Levi Robertson and Chris Stone, Stone Age Distractions, 2023) 06:53 -Finished! (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele,...

We present to you a specially chemically-enhanced episode. Walker has been doping specifically in preparation, eschewing any sustenance other than military-grade lozenges. Mark will be performing his hosting duties while fully immersed in a tank of benzocaine oral painkiller. It is a good thing that the International Olympic Committee has no sway here in SVWAG studios, or we would likely get disqualified for the podcast luge event. Games Played Last Week: 01:30 -Raising Robots (Brett Sobol...

For reasons both personal and highly arbitrary, the SVWAG style guide (authored by gibbons, of course) does not countenance using the word "teach" as a noun, with the possible exception as a casual nickname for a teacher. Thus a game does not, in our parlance, have a "teach" except insofar as you call the person explaining the rules to you "teach". As in, "yo, teach, thanks for doing this thankless job, you make our hobby possible, I'm certainly not going to give you a hard time for any minor...

Before shouting about toys professionally, Mark taught ethics at a health sciences university. He discussed matters of life and death, of cutting edge controversial technologies, of war and politics, and matters of fundamental rights and duties. He has learned two lessons from those experiences: never ever talk about animal rights with a pit bull owner, and his views on Mass Effect are vastly more controversial than any of his other views. In this episode, he is at least smart enough to stay...

Walker was all like "there's this card effect in Successors" and Mark was all like "nuh-uh" but Walker was like "yeah, fer sure" and Mark goes "no way" and Walker says "way" and that's a 100% accurate transcript. 01:53 AYURIS: Dice Realms (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2022) Games Played Last Week: 04:07 -Lorenzo il Magnifico (Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, and Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations, 2016) 10:55 -Leonardo da Vinci's Codex Leicester (Changhyun Baek, Flaminia Brasini,...

The theory of the atom first posited by the pre-Socratic philosopher Democritus in roughly the 4th Century BCE. None of his actual writings have survived. The great thing about the pre-Socratics is that so few of their works are available, you can spend about ten minutes (or less!) and have read as much of their stuff as have the world's leading experts.  Games Played Last Week: 01:53 -Kingdom Rush: Elemental Uprising (Alara Cameron, Helana Hope, and Sen-Foong Lim, Lucky Duck Games,...

Every man wants to be a macho, macho man To have the kind of body always in demand Jogging in the mornings, go man go Work outs in the health spa, muscles glow You can best believe that he's a macho man Ready to get down with, anyone he can You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk His western shirts and leather, always look so boss Funky with his body, he's a king Call him Mister Ego, dig his chains You can best believe that he's a macho man He likes to be the leader, he never dresses...

Let us, following in Andy Schwarz's example, highlight the fine work of Nancy Skinner, a California state senator whose "Fair Pay to Play Act" granted college athletes in California the right to profit from their name, image, and likeness. This forced the NCAA to allow such changes more broadly. It hasn't been perfect, but let's acknowledge one thing: if someone's gonna be making millions off your name and face, maybe--just maybe!--you should be able to get a cut.  Games Played Last...

It has been many a year since our early days, our salad days when we were younger and dumb and didn't know what we were doing. Much has changed, in that we are now older and dumb and don't know what we're doing. But the inexorable march of time has at least offered many new offerings in the broad tent of dexterity games, and so it is past time that we focus on one of our preferred genus of toy. 01:26 AYURIS: Golem (Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, & Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations,...

A pretty solid rule of thumb is that if you've been disappointed in a kind of game, try David Thompson's version of it and see how delightful it can be. Hidden movement got you down? Sniper Elite is the cure. Abstract chunky tiled fighty thing didn't please? War Chest might please. Mediocre skirmish cramping your style? For What Remains is ready to serve. It's a good thing he has styles of games he hasn't explored, lest he just obsolete the remainder of the games industry. Give him time....

As ever, and with no clue what a lang syne is (much less an auld-y type configuration), we embrace the new year by commemorating the old. We would venture that the new year only truly begins once SVWAG has given its imprimatur on the best game published in the preceding year. The Julian Calendar was abandoned in favour of the Gregorian, and it is evident that the Gregorian should be abandoned in favour of the SVWAGgering Calendar.  Games Played Last Week: 01:34 -Kutná Hora: The City of...

Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, claimed that you never step in the same river twice; for it is not the same river and you are not the same person. Such as it is with games! They are reprinted and thus reborn, all along some blurred spectrum of redesign spanning from carbon copy all the way to entirely new design. Let us not forget Heraclitus' student Cratylus, who evidently thought Heraclitus some kind of squish, insofar as he is credited with countering that you cannot step into...

"This here's a jam for all the gamers Tryin' to do what those rulebooks offer Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous Take too long, opponents get jealous Ok, smarty, go to a party Games are on the menu for everybody You wanna play a game that's more complexer But you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter A game is laid out, one not played out The options unfold and your mind just spins out They say you should take your turn or get removed So come on, gamer, and just bust a...

Just before Mark is de-platformed, he would like to remind the SVWAG audience of two very important facts. First, he is but a man shouting into a can, and just because he doesn't like the thing you like doesn't make either less worthy of respect, dignity, and chocolate. He is willing to accept the possibility that he's Playing It Wrong and/or Doesn't Get It and/or needs to Git Gud and/or is just insufficiently evolved. Second, a reminder that complaints are to be directed to...

A review of So Very Wrong About Games, not actually by Werner Herzog: "To listen to SVWAG is to court madness. One host is beholden to the delusion that if he utters sufficient words in a short period of time he may stave off his inevitable death, whereas the other grapples with the false consciousness of refusing to acknowledge life's meaninglessness. Collectively their banter serves as a cruel rebuke to evolution, a bitter mockery of humanity's purported superiority over a nature they...

Dexterity games, dismissed by many in the board game world as children's toys (whereas, by contrast, we laud them as children's toys), can offer a unique window into the player's soul. A fine dexterity game is a crucible in which one's true character emerges. Are you an assertive, grandiose table-hog capable of great feats but undone by hubris? Are you a small-minded, plodding dilettante lacking in ambition or imagination? Junk Art can reveal all! Games Played Last Week: 02:11 -Age of...

There's no time no time at all we must get to the games there's been so many all the time one after another hurry hurry we must get to all of the games 01:26 AYURIS: Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 03:07 -Septima (Robin Hegedűs, Mindclash Games, 2023) 10:42 -White Castle (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos, Devir Games, 2023) 16:25 -Paku Paku (Antoine Bauza, Ravensburger, 2017) 20:45 -Nekojima (David Carmona & Karen Nguyen, Unfriendly Games,...

The shift from Beckett references to low-grade puns might strike one as jarring, but it is important to note that both hosts have essentially been twelve going on sixty for most of their lives. If it's not juvenile and/or obscure, it is difficult for the hosts to process--they become disoriented and frightened. In such circumstances, a nice Star Control II reference will probably calm them down. Hey, there's one of those in this episode, too! Games Played Last Week: 01:52 -Great Western...

One has to be careful in buffet situations. There are so many options, and you are pulled in so many different directions. You must differentiate the false urgency from the genuinely pressing, and it is a test of your evaluation and timing skills to successfully navigate your priorities. What to do, and when? How much of what? If you fail to make the wise choices, you might not get through the dessert.  Games Played Last Week: 02:20 -IKI: Akebono (Koota Yamada, Sorry We Are French,...

"'Well, I remember it as though it were an episode ago' Said Walker the Host as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter May have nestled its way into his mighty throat Many a poor design had met its demise while staring point-blank down The cavernous barrel of this awesome critical machine Truly a wonder of nature, this urban gamer Walker the Host had many a story to tell And it was a frequent occasion such as this that he did ... 'Say Bigney, do you wanna play games with me? Say,...