Stacey falls in LUV with one Mr. Wesley Ellenburg, the Tom Cruisiest student teacher to ever grace SMS. Charlotte crushes on Bruce Cominsky and then gives him the brushoff but also? There’s a baby goat. And in case you’re unclear, she is CUTE. Esme discusses the psych literature on crushes (and says “fondle” too many times for anyone’s liking) and Anne and Emily have a surfeit of delicious pop culture and feminist nuggets (but none as delicious as “all-natural crispy rancho-style veggie rice nuggets with nacho substitute cheese-food flavor”).