Questionable value in retrospect due in part to form
The ending is problematic. Coby seemed to panic and make a hasty, weak decision. Sounded to me he finally allowed himself to see the reality of Ashlynn’s poor treatment of him, since the podcast only ever looked at his poor treatment of Ashlynn. And the ongoing hating on Coby and loving on Ashlynn is a dynamic that disturbed me throughout and has taken a troubling turn as everyone now seems to deify Ashlynn and demonize Coby. As if only Coby had issues and did harmful things to the relationship. Even the title BAE puts Coby in the “you’re the entire problem” category and Ashlynn in the “you’re entirely a victim” category. Thus, the unspoken message I often heard was that if only Coby could get his act together everything would be perfect. That’s how it came across. But what kind of woman marries and stays with someone like Coby? If you listened carefully, you’d sometimes hear how Ashlynn cared only about appearances initially and was defensive, adversarial, had to win fights and couldn’t admit wrongs, only had eyes to see the negatives in Coby, etc. That sounds to me like a relationship where she had her own independent role in creating an environment where Gottmans four horsemen of the apocalypse reigned. And the unhealthy focus on the female being a victim only and above reproach is not helpful, especially in a dynamic where more than one human is involved. No healthy boundaried woman is connecting (or is it trauma bonding?) with that kind of man, so you have to ask what pathology she brought to the relationship, and whether she was pathalogically invested in having a scapegoat she could treat with contempt and scorn to avoid looking at herself. If you listened carefully to Brannons final recap, he hinted there might be something to Cobys indirect allegation that Ashlynn often invited the four horsemen into the relationship. I found it interesting both seemed scared to speak directly about Ashlynn but had no problem being direct about Cobys problems. Such actions spoke louder than words … and spoke of Ashlynn being a controlling, critical and combative person. Thats the elephant in the podcast. But sure, the guy who openly spoke of his embarrassing actions was a total phony and fraud
No_Why via Apple Podcasts · United States of America · 04/12/22
More reviews of The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
I am glad that Coby was called out that this is HIS issue, (ie-the threatening of divorce when it did not match result) but I am so appalled that this behavior is not named as ABUSIVE. Ashlynn has already put up with this man cheating on her and now she is supposed to hang in there when he has...Read full review »
firefly-letyourlightshine via Apple Podcasts · United States of America · 08/21/18
This podcast is so helpful for anyone struggling with porn or sex addiction. The three perspectives give you a glimpse of the whole picture. Also the content provides important tools for healing. I recommend it to anyone who is married not just sex addicts, but its seriously helpful for anyone.
Puddingkingdom34277 via Apple Podcasts · United States of America · 03/04/17
I’ve been in a bubble for too long, this podcast has been so incredibly helpful to me, thank you so very much. It’s so difficult identifying truth with an addict and even harder taking care of yourself. This has brought much clarity thank you
hoey7 via Apple Podcasts · United States of America · 05/29/18
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