Questionable value in retrospect due in part to form
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“The ending is problematic. Coby seemed to panic and make a hasty, weak decision. Sounded to me he finally allowed himself to see the reality of Ashlynn’s poor treatment of him, since the podcast only ever looked at his poor treatment of Ashlynn. And the ongoing hating on Coby and loving on Ashlynn is a dynamic that disturbed me throughout and has taken a troubling turn as everyone now seems to deify Ashlynn and demonize Coby. As if only Coby had issues and did harmful things to the relationship. Even the title BAE puts Coby in the “you’re the entire problem” category and Ashlynn in the “you’re entirely a victim” category. Thus, the unspoken message I often heard was that if only Coby could get his act together everything would be perfect. That’s how it came across.
But what kind of woman marries and stays with someone like Coby? If you listened carefully, you’d sometimes hear how Ashlynn cared only about appearances initially and was defensive, adversarial, had to win fights and couldn’t admit wrongs, only had eyes to see the negatives in Coby, etc. That sounds to me like a relationship where she had her own independent role in creating an environment where Gottmans four horsemen of the apocalypse reigned. And the unhealthy focus on the female being a victim only and above reproach is not helpful, especially in a dynamic where more than one human is involved. No healthy boundaried woman is connecting (or is it trauma bonding?) with that kind of man, so you have to ask what pathology she brought to the relationship, and whether she was pathalogically invested in having a scapegoat she could treat with contempt and scorn to avoid looking at herself. If you listened carefully to Brannons final recap, he hinted there might be something to Cobys indirect allegation that Ashlynn often invited the four horsemen into the relationship. I found it interesting both seemed scared to speak directly about Ashlynn but had no problem being direct about Cobys problems. Such actions spoke louder than words … and spoke of Ashlynn being a controlling, critical and combative person. Thats the elephant in the podcast. But sure, the guy who openly spoke of his embarrassing actions was a total phony and fraud”
No_Why via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
04/12/22
More reviews of The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
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“On Friday I listened to How and Why an Addict Breaks Boundaries, 30 minutes later my spouse informed me that he made a life decision and didn’t consult me on it. At first I was just annoyed, but as time went on, my annoyance turned to anger and I found myself in trauma. It took some time and...”Read full review »
1brownp via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
06/03/18
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“Each of these podcasts have been powerful to me in my trauma recovery. The episodes about sex fast and sex advice I would be weary of if you’re easily triggered by these things, though it’s good information—though if you’re Catholic with knowledge of Theology of the Body you’ll find the “sex...”Read full review »
Sarhokie via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
01/25/18
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“Everything Brannon, Ashlynn, and Coby have to say is valuable. There is so much wisdom in their words. For so long, my spouse convinced me that everybody thought I was crazy, and I believed him. I believed I was going crazy. I’ve learned I’m not going crazy, I’m going normal. (Not healthy, but...”Read full review »
Imazay via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
01/15/18
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