Chaos...

[loud beating and flogging noises] ahhh! ohhh ouch ohhh nooo! ow! owww! We’re back ahhh stop oh god ow! With a new episode on a film from the twisted mind of Mel Gibson ouch! Joined ahh ohhh ow owwww by returning guests AHHH Jordan and Katherine.  [flogging continues] We talk about ow ouch oh god why have you forsaken me owww the life and career of Mad Mel before diving into a rapid fire round ahh ouch ohhhh of movies we’ve seen recently. Then we get to the film of the week ahhh stop oh...

He has risen again! He being Jesus Christ of course, our lord and saviour and friend of the pod. Alex and Ben are back with Part II of the epic Christ Quadrilogy where they explore weighty themes like religion, resurrection, sin, and salvation.  This week we're covering Martin Scorsese's (and Paul Schrader's) THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST. Joining us are returning guest Jordan Seccareccia and, finally completing the Westelaken Exodia, Lucas. We talk about our experiences with religion and...

I loooove you Jeeeesus Chriiiiist. Jesus Christ I loooove you, yesss I dooooo. Happy April everybody! We here at The Franchisees are good, honest, god-fearing folk and have decided to celebrate the death and resurrection of friend of the pod and future guest, Jesus of Nazareth. We've picked a quartet, a tetralogy, or (much more stupidly) a quadrilogy of Christ films to push together into one big holy franchise. First up is the late Norman Jewison's crunchy hippie Christ classic, JESUS CHRIST...

Ted has risen! Ted 2 unto others as you would have Ted 2 to uh yourself. We're back with the sequel to Seth MacFarlane's lovable children's film TED, the appropriately titled TED 2. Ben was lukewarm on the first Ted film and Alex remembers disliking Ted 2 when he watched it on a plane many years ago... how will the lads feel about Ted 2 now?  Well, it is an improvement! Funnier, sillier, more gags. The main plot is kind of weird and gross but what were you expecting? Anyway, this is a short...

We're back this week with a new franchise, TED. Everyone's favourite Seth MacFarlane project behind Family Guy but ahead of everything else he's done. Since there's a new Ted TV series we thought we'd revisit the lovable foul-mouthed bear and see if he's still funny (or if he ever was in the first place...) We start the episode by discussing the life and work of funnyman Seth MacFarlane. We reminisce about the good old days of Family Guy and how we grew out of it, which jokes worked for us...

The spice continues to flow on our latest episode: DUNE: PART TWO, the epic conclusion to Denis Villeneuve's adaptation of one book. We have a very special guest joining us this week, fellow sandman and spicelover Alex Baigent! This brings us 3/4 of the way to having the entirety of the band Westelaken on the show. Soon we shall collect them all! Before we get into Dune we talk about some other movies: Akira Kurosawa's DREAMS, TROUBLE EVERY DAY, THE LONG DAY CLOSES, THE CROWD, and STARSHIP...

It's DUNE time again, the spice must flow, the podcast must uhhh ummmm be recorded and released. What a wonderful, special episode we have for you. Joining us is major spice-head Aren Bergstrom, a huge Dune fan, cinephile and fellow movie podcaster. We do talk about Dune, don't worry, but first we have an extended riff on hot button film criticism and culture topics: Lights Camera Jackson, They Shoot Pictures Don't They, Film Twitter, Letterboxd, LexG, and so much more.  We also talk about...

Beer is the mind killer, the sleeper has awakened from a drunken nap. And many more Dune-related jokes I’m sure! We’re back with an exciting and relevant franchise: the DUNE films. This week we start by discussing (eventually) David Lynch’s 1984 adaptation. Is it a failure or a secret success… or something in between?  We also touch on Alejandro Jodorowsky’s Dune attempt, MADAME WEB, MY DINNER WITH ANDRE, INSOMNIA, and also a glimpse into the hell that is YOU, ME AND DUPREE. We of course...

Listen up you rat f***s, Ben has now seen all 26 of cinema god Martin Scorsese's fiction feature films. He and Alex have cooked you up a nice-a bonus episode, just like our mother's used to make. It's long, epic even... just like one of Marty's pictures. We talk about every Martin Scorsese film here, from MEAN STREETS to TAXI DRIVER to GOODFELLAS to HUGO to THE IRISH MAN, every single one of them gets discussed on this beautiful very special very official and definitive look at the great...

Martin Scorsese baby. The god! We're back with his 1986 cool guy classic, THE COLOR OF MONEY. Paul Newman is back as Fast Eddie Felcher, older and wiser (?), not playing pool but anymore but still hustling. He meets a young, hot shot hot shit pool prodigy Tom Cruise and takes him and his streetwise girlfriend under his wing. Can Fast Eddie show the kid the ropes? Can the kid tame his impulse to showoff? Will Eddie ever get back in the game? Is pool a legitimate sport? All these questions...

We're back and squeezing in a short "franchise" before DUNE unto others as we'd have DUNE unto ourselves. We chose something good for a bit of a change of pace: THE HUSTLER.  Directed by Robert Rossen (who joins the Elia Kazan club of Communist name namers who also made some great films), THE HUSTLER is a film about having that grindset, the money mindset, of #winning 24/7 365... or is it? ...is it in fact... the opposite?? Alex and Ben talk about pool, Communism, On Cinema at the Cinema,...

Jurassic World Dominion NO COLON You don't have to watch this movie! You could go outside! You don't have to have seen this movie to enjoy this podcast, we don't even talk about it until an hour in! Don't do this to yourself, you're better than that! I'm serious, don't bother! Do some chores, call your mom, get a start on your taxes for god's sake.  Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @thefranchisees and email us at [email protected] Join us next week for something good for a...

We're back to discuss the 2nd film in the JURASSIC WORLD series, JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM. It's a real doozy so thank god we're joined by our special guest Rob McLay, a musician and passionate dinosaur rights advocate. Rob raises an important question: we agree dinosaurs should be granted rights... but should they also receive the right to vote? Join us for an in-depth political discussion that brings new meaning to the phrase "vote blue no matter who"... Also discussed are a few other...

oh this is a big special extra long and rambling episode for you real Fanchisees out there, we love you and if you listen to this whole episode you will be rewarded with the knowledge of the name of the street Jordan B. Peterson lives on. we promise that next year we will figure out a better format for this but until then: listen or die!

It's Jurassic's World, we're just living in it. That doesn't really make sense I guess. But maybe there was a time when rebooting the Jurassic franchise didn't make sense either... makes you think. I'm sure glad they decided to make more swell dino movies for us that don't suck! We discuss legacy sequels and Chris Pratt and Colin Trevorrow and all sorts of other stuff. Ben thinks this movie is "not so bad", especially when knowing where this rebooted trilogy ends up. Alex thinks it's "pretty...

Ben eats a bagel, the boys respond to legitimate fan mail, and discuss the stirring final chapter of the Jurassic Park  trilogy. 

Something Survived... that's right, The Franchisees are back with the dino-tastic sequel to Jurassic Park. There's little debate around whether this second entry is "dino-tastic"... but is it any good? Does Sammy Fabelman recapture some of the magic of the original We offer up some lukewarm takes! Before we eventually talk about The Lost World: Jurassic Park we also catch up on what we've been watching, including lengthy bits about new release films Saltburn and Ferrari.  Join us next week...

We're back! New year, new us. Looking to the future, and the future's gonna be bright. That's why we chose to go back 65 million years to bring you some gargantuan dino content. Our first franchise of 2024: Jurassic Park/World. It brings me immeasurable displeasure to include /World... I really don't want to watch any of those three films again but this is the ebb and flow, the hills and valleys of being a bipolar podcast producer.  This franchise starts off with the best, truly one of the...

Last episode of the year! Happy New Year! Hypergremlinization! See you on the other side!

Bah! Humbug!

'Twas the night before Christmas if you listen to this immediately or maybe next year on December 24th it could become a tradition for you why not? We're coming to you from the North Pole with a special Christmas-themed double bill: the Gremlins franchise! We've recorded two short and sloppy episodes for you this holiday season, may you enjoy them in good cheer. Joe Dante. Sammy Fabelman. Howie Mandel as Gizmo. These three brilliant minds come together to deliver both an iconic 80s Christmas...

I’m making chocolate of course! We’re back to check in with the latest screen version of the beloved character Willy Wonka. What’s he been up to? What was he like before the first film? And before that? And before that? And before that? What was he like as a little sperm? All our questions are finally answered. Friend of the pod and famous Fanchisee Jordan joins us to discuss the film and also share his Top Ten Films of 2023!  This is a long and fun episode where we don’t talk about the...

What a f*****g drag! This week we revisited a real piece of crap, Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Does Burton's pure imagination combined with a delicious performance by Joni Dripp result in a confection you'll go crazy for? I certainly hope not! Revisiting this a week after rediscovering the joy of the original did not do it any favours. Next week we'll be seeing the new Wonka film fittingly titled: Wonka. As skeptical as we are of the early praise the film has received,...