Episodes
Is low sex drive ruining your relationship? All long term couples experience sexual dry spells, whether it's due to stress, hormonal changes, emotional disconnection, or simply being too tired to get frisky at the end of a long day (pro tip: sex does not have to happen at bed time!).  Luckily, it doesn't matter how often you're "doing it" — what matters is that you and your partner know how to navigate periods of low sex drive while keeping your relationship healthy and strong.  It's...
Published 10/09/23
Is it time to have “The Talk?” Getting into couples counseling may be the best choice you ever make for your relationship… but first, you have to talk to your partner about going to couples counseling, and that can be tricky.  This podcast is about how you can approach this conversation in a way that gives you the best shot at getting your relationship the help it needs. I hope you’ll join me! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  
Published 10/02/23
Post traumatic growth is a real phenomenon. After traumatic things happen to us, we don’t stay broken forever. We learn and grow from our most difficult experiences and use them to live more meaningful lives.  But all of that can feel out of reach when you’re in the depths of a traumatic loss. This episode will help you begin to move in the direction of growth and healing, so you can reap the benefits of post traumatic growth.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  
Published 09/25/23
You know that infidelity is survivable… but it doesn’t always feel that way when it’s happening to you. Being cheated on by someone you love and trust is a profoundly painful experience. You need some practical tools to process what happened, heal your heart, and begin moving forward again.  This episode is about the tools that will help you survive infidelity and come out the other side stronger than before. I hope you’ll join me.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  
Published 09/18/23
When you feel like you can’t connect deeply with someone you love, it’s painful. It’s common for people in relationships with emotionally unavailable partners to blame themselves, and believe that if they could just be perfect enough, then their emotionally unavailable partner would magically become responsive and available for the kind of relationship that they want to have.  This mindset makes you feel bad about yourself, and unfortunately, it can push your emotionally unavailable partner...
Published 09/11/23
When you struggle to set boundaries at work, it doesn’t just intrude on your personal life, it makes it harder for you to achieve your vision of career success. Learn how to set healthy limits with coworkers, achieve work-life balance, and deal with a boss that doesn’t respect your boundaries.  All of that and more on this episode of the podcast.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  
Published 09/04/23
Do you feel haunted by the past? Whether you’re struggling with regret, anger, or grief, having unfinished business with the past can keep you feeling stuck. But you can let go of the past and begin moving forward, and this episode will show you how.  I hope you join me for this one, all about how to let go of the past and start looking forward.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  
Published 08/28/23
Long term relationships can get a little stale when you don’t know how to keep love alive over the long haul. It’s very common for couples to believe they’ve fallen out of love when this happens. But a stronger, more fulfilling relationship is possible, and on this episode of the podcast, I’m going to tell you how.  I hope it gives you hope for your relationship and guidance on how to bridge the gap so you can feel in love with your partner again.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby ...
Published 08/21/23
Smart couples recognize that pregnancy is more than a growing-a-baby waiting game. It is a prime opportunity to work through important relationship issues and strengthen your relationship. Having a baby can feel like it’s the Pregnant Lady Show, rather than an experience that you and your partner are working through together. But the journey of pregnancy, and the challenges it offers, are opportunities for growth — for both of you.  Using these moments during pregnancy will help you know...
Published 08/14/23
There’s a sneaky relationship killer lurking in your communication… but you’ve probably never heard of it.  Negative sentiment override happens when you get into the habit of reacting negatively to your partner because of bad past experiences, even when it’s not really called for in the present. It makes it hard to let go of the past and make positive changes for the future, and it can keep you feeling bogged down in unsatisfying relationship patterns.  In this episode, I’m teaching you...
Published 08/07/23
You know that coworker who drives you nuts? Whether you’re dealing with a controlling coworker, a deadweight, or a bully, difficult people in the workplace can drag down your job satisfaction and performance.  So what can you do? This episode is all about how you can deal with the difficult coworker in your life and continue to succeed at work, no matter what.  I hope you’ll tune in! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com   
Published 07/31/23
If you’re going through a breakup, you know that missing your Ex is one of the toughest parts of the heartbreak experience. Even if you know the relationship is ultimately not right for you, it’s normal to look back on the happy memories and feel sad that your Ex can no longer be in your life. You might even question whether breaking up was the right choice, or if you should reach out and try to be friends. This episode will help you understand why you miss your Ex, what it means, and how...
Published 07/24/23
We've all been there: Your partner says something that just inflames you, and you say something you regret later. Or you instinctively defend yourself and withdraw when things get tense, rather than leaning into a healthy and productive courageous conversation. We all know that being able to react vs. respond is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships. But that can be easier said than done in the middle of a heated conflict.  When you’re frustrated, hurt, or...
Published 07/17/23
Are you in an enmeshed relationship? If you and your partner are so connected that you take on each other’s problems, feelings, and needs as your own, the answer might be yes.  When you’re enmeshed with your partner, you might lose sight of your own needs for love, safety care, and connection. So how can you create a healthier connection? That’s what this episode is all about! I’m talking about what enmeshed relationships look like, why they’re problematic, and how you can bring your...
Published 07/10/23
Do you feel like you and your partner get stuck in a power struggle where you feel one way, they feel another, and you just cannot compromise?  Today's episode brings real-world relationship advice to help you communicate differently, so that you can break through the gridlock and get back on the same page. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com
Published 07/03/23
When someone we love, trust, and rely on betrays us, it creates a deep, painful wound that doesn’t always heal on its own. Betrayal trauma, or “relationship trauma,” is real, and it can linger on for months or even years without the right care, just like other kinds of trauma.  Even though relationship trauma is very common, it isn’t always recognized by our culture, or even by the people who are suffering from it. I hope this episode helps shift that for you. When you acknowledge the...
Published 06/26/23
Making a career transition can be a daunting task, especially if you’ve spent years building your expertise in a particular field only to discover you don’t love your work.  How can you know what career would actually feel more satisfying? If you already know where you'd like to go, how can you begin getting there? If you are ready for a career change, this episode will give you some pointers on where to begin. It’s a conversation between myself and my colleague Susan H., M.A., LPCC, a...
Published 06/19/23
Getting into couples counseling is a fantastic idea... but you have to know how to engage with the process in order to have a good experience. Unfortunately, it's very easy to make one or more of the super common mistakes that can sabotage couples counseling.  I hope this episode helps you avoid that outcome, and get the help for your relationship you need and deserve. My guest is Jenna P., a marriage counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her...
Published 06/12/23
Wondering how you can help someone get help? You have the power to have a positive impact on the lives of the people you care about, and this episode will show you how. We all will be a concerned friend or family member at some point in our lives. And while none of us has the power to rescue others, fight their battles, or override their choices, we do have an important role to play in the lives of the people we care about: holding up a mirror that reflects what we see, with compassion and...
Published 06/05/23
Many people who are unhappy with their working lives are looking for answers. They see other people getting ahead and loving their work, and they wonder why they feel so stuck and unsatisfied. I can tell you that the missing ingredient is never some mysterious quality that makes some people shinier and more successful than others — although I know it can look that way from the outside. More often, the difference is pretty basic: Some people are skilled at professional development planning,...
Published 05/29/23
Knowing how to deal with regret helps you build a life that is authentic, ethical, and meaningful. Without regret, you wouldn’t have good information about who you are, what you need, and where you have opportunities to grow.  But if you don’t know how to deal with regret in a healthy way, it’s easy to become trapped in a vortex of guilt and shame that makes you feel hopeless, defeated, or irredeemably flawed. But it’s possible to create something positive out of regret, by transforming it...
Published 05/22/23
Was that just a nasty fight? Or a sign that your relationship is failing?  As a longtime marriage counselor, I know that it can be hard to spot the difference. Some forms of conflict are healthy and even beneficial for relationships, while others are a signal that your emotional bond is on the rocks. You can prevent a breakup or divorce and keep your connection healthy and strong by learning what a failing relationship really looks like — and what you should be doing right now if your...
Published 05/15/23
We all hear “you have to love yourself first.” But what if you don't know how to love yourself?  This episode is all about authentic self love: What it really means, why having compassion and care for yourself matters so much, and how to love yourself even if (and especially if) you don't always feel like it. You are worthy of love and respect, and today's podcast will help you build your relationship... with yourself. With love and gratitude for the gift that is YOU,  xoxo, Dr. Lisa...
Published 05/08/23
Any kind of loss hurts, but the pain is prolonged when you don't know how to get closure and move forward. Unfortunately, closure isn’t something that anyone else can give to you. It’s also not something that just happens. It's an active process that creates healing, and restores your wellbeing. On this episode of the podcast, I’m talking about how you can do that. No matter what kind of loss you're currently dealing with, I hope the ideas I'm sharing today help you take the next step on...
Published 05/01/23
There are few things more frustrating than trying to figure out how to deal with a defensive partner. You just want them to understand how you feel and what you need, but they’re too busy defending themselves to truly listen.  Unfortunately, defensive reactions can make it difficult to have constructive conversations. Without good communication, the systems for resolving problems in relationships begin to break down — and that’s when your relationship gets in serious trouble. The good news:...
Published 04/24/23