The Mental Load: Why saying "Just ask for Help" is wrongOn this hot take, Katlynn discusses why men in relationships should not say "you just need to ask for help". This makes women feel: undervaluedunappreciatedtaken for granted The reality is that you chose to do this life together, so saying that she just needs to ask for help makes the mental load her problem, indicates that the things she thinks about are her job only and let's her know you don't think of them as mutual chores to share.