Preparing for maternity leave and the start of the mental load.Career coach to help moms navigate a career and children.Women deal with a lot of emotions and roadblocks going into and coming back from maternity leave. How do we better prepare ourselves, our workplaces and our partners so the mental load at home and at work isn’t as bad? We had a great episode a couple weeks ago with Sarah Reeves about how to help shape the workplace into one that is more supportive for caregivers, so today’s...

How do countries outside America support families and therefore lighten the mental load?What do nordic countries do to support families: Baby boxes with important newborn items to set families up for successPaid parental leave In Norway, parental leave is paid at full pay for the first 44 weeks or at 80% if parents opt to take 54 weeks. To encourage both parents to play their part, fathers must take at least six weeks' parental leave or risk the family losing payments for the same period.Free...

The mental load of meal planning.Why families struggle with meals and how it creates invisible labor for women.Meal planning, it's a bitch, right? In this week's hot take, Angie, discusses how her family of six has tackled meal planning. And, if we do say so ourselves, it's kinda genius. Instead of meticulously planning out each meal and the ingredients or making everything on the weekend to simply reheat on the weeknights, they've picked a theme for each night, so the guess work is less and...

Maternity Leave and the mental loadMaternity Leave isn't a vacation. In fact, it's where the mental load really starts and becomes one-sided. Today we discuss how Employee Resource Groups can help support and lighten the load for not just moms, but all caregivers, joined by Sarah Reeves. Sarah is a girl mom to Ella 8, Norah 5, Husband Aaron of 13 years. She's the Director of Product Management at one of the largest internet companies to date. After her first child, she co-founded a global...

Acts of service as a love languageAnecdotally I have noticed that every woman in a heterosexual relationship will say that her love language is acts of service. Ask her husband what her love language is and he'll say "definitely acts of service". But I think this is b******t. What if, women are using acts of service as a love language as a cover for asking our partners to pick up more of the mental load? I find it statistically impossible that every woman lists acts of service as their love...

Telling moms to practice self-care is not an answer to the mental load.What is the issue?  Telling moms to practice more self-care is a b******t cop out.  Self care is defined as the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being. The term “self-care” actually has roots in the civil rights and women’s rights movements of the 1960s and ’70s. (There’s a frequently shared quote by Black...

Motherly's State of Motherhood and the Mental LoadJoin us and special guest, Kate Anderson, Chief of Staff at Motherly to discuss their annual State of Motherhood report. The largest body of research regarding motherhood and issues impacting families. Kate Anderson is a leader in generating change and gender equality within the startup space. As a Chief of Staff at Motherly, a wellbeing destination empowering mothers to thrive with expert content, innovative product solutions, and supportive...

What effect do the holidays have on the mental load for women?The holidays are often some of the most stressful time of year, financially, emotionally and physically for many families. Creating the holiday magic often falls to the already full plate of the mom, so what can we do to have a hot-mess-less holiday season? Angies hot take covers: Caring for your spouse during the holiday season so it can be magical for them tooCreating a joint budgetShopping together How to teach your kids to...

How our partner's anger impacts the mental load for women and affects our kidsWhat is the issue?  We are part of a generation that wasn’t raised to think about kids’ feelings. Our parents didn’t ignore us, but they also weren’t as keyed in on emotional and social well-being as we are today. A big part of the mental load is that we’re the emotional backstop for everyone in the family and when both parents aren’t parenting from a place of emotional well being, it creates a disconnect that...

How routines help the mental loadIn our house, there's two versions of the mental load argument. Version 1 was "you just need to ask for help" now we're on to what I like to call 2.0 of the argument: "we just need a better routine". This statement sounds more progressive. It's action-oriented and inclusive. I said "we!". But here's the thing, routines aren't the entire solution. They don't absolve your partner from being an equal participant in whatever task needs to get done that you're...

How does this affect mom's careers? Those who are able to put in more time, more travel, be available at all kinds of hours, etc. are more likely to get the big clients, the promotions, the career awards.But it’s not just about the time or physical availability; the mental load also affects mom’s careers because it makes it harder to focus and do deep work.  “When a man expects his partner to ask him to do things, he’s viewing her as the manager of household chores. The problem is that...

The Mental Load: Why saying "Just ask for Help" is wrongOn this hot take, Katlynn discusses why men in relationships should not say "you just need to ask for help". This makes women feel: undervaluedunappreciatedtaken for granted The reality is that you chose to do this life together, so saying that she just needs to ask for help makes the mental load her problem, indicates that the things she thinks about are her job only and let's her know you don't think of them as mutual chores to share.

How the Patriarchy Affects the Mental LoadThis isn't a "f**k the patriarchy/white straight men suck" episode. This is an acknowledgment and discussion of facts. The facts are, that the patriarchy exists; by nature, it oppresses women and people of color; and it needs to be reformed. (which would then make it something new altogether) Society and institutions are made to evolve as they learn and I think we've learned enough about the patriarchy to make it clear that a lot needs to change. And,...

Shorter episodes and weekly hot takes are coming later this fall! The Mental Load will drop new season every summer and winter. This gives Angie and Katlynn time to research and create quality content during the off-season. Thanks to everyone who's supported us so far on this journey, we're excited to bring you some amazing guests and conversations soon.

Millennial women are getting divorced at higher rates and the reason is because of the mental load. The reality is women are not attracted to men we have to mother. We’re taught when we’re looking for relationships to look for someone we can take of. But that shit doesn’t change once you get married. Today we're joined by Felicia Kashevaroff. Owner of Tend Task and a divorced mom. We dive in deep to what it's like balancing the mental load as a single mom and how the mental load contributes...

What is the dad privilege?The dad privilege, maternal gatekeeping and the mental load.What is dad privilege? The internet says: it’s when dads are treated like heroes and get praised for doing the same shit that moms do every f*****g day. Dads get praised for just showing up. “Aw, you planned dinners for the whole week!” “Aw, you brought your kids to the birthday party!” “Aw, you gave the baby a bath!” -_- We also say: it’s the ability to just do things in their lives without considering the...

What are we teaching young boys and young girls about the mental load?What do our kids learn from watching their moms carry the mental load? One goal of this podcast is to break a generational cycle.  What are we worried our sons are learning when we bear the mental load? "A popular squabble in my household stems from the fact that I bear the bulk of the mental load. My spouse—who’s a very involved and participatory partner—is still the guy that will make a plan to go to the playground with...

Advice to fix the mental loadHow women can lighten the mental loadWelcome, Melissa Bloom, energy coach! The most popular question we get is "how do I fix the imbalance? how do I get rid of or at least lighten the mental load?" It's a challenging issue because it has so many different facets to it. Enter, Melissa. As an energy coach, Melissa works with all kinds of clients to find balance and feel joy in their lives. The mental load, as we all know, takes a heavy toll on women personally and...

How does gender programming affect the mental load?All of this to say that women are taught from an early age that our worth and value comes from the house we keep and the kids we raise. Dads are taught that their job is done as soon as they’ve provided shelter and money for the family.  What this looks like in Women:  Programmed to think self worth comes from the house we keep and the kids we raiseAre taught to be the caretakers (therefore we prioritize this within our do to list)Nice vs...

Advice on how to change the mental load from a marriage therapist.The effect the mental load has on marriages and how to have the conversation with your spouse. It's (one) of the episodes you all have been waiting for. How do you have the mental load conversation with your spouse and create meaningful change? Licensed therapist, Kristen Sanchez, takes us through the process of: having the conversationexamining your own contributions approaching your partnercreating lasting changethe impact...

What is the mental load?How does the mental load affect women?Is the mental load a real thing? And if it is, what is its impact on women? The mental load is all the “invisible work” that needs to be done to keep daily life going This includes cognitive and emotional needs as well. Cognitive labor involves thinking of all the practical needs and logistics and emotional labor involves managing and regulating everyone’s emotions to create the most successful outcome for everyone.  Four...

What is the impact of the mental load on women's careers?Invisible labor for women at work How did we get here? The mental load has been a generational issue but it didn't become obvious to everyone until Covid where women suddenly found themselves working from home, parenting 24/7 and teaching their children. While men picked up more duties around the house, it was not enough to radically shift the load around; the invisible labor still stayed with women. What’s going on? Women are expected...