We don't want to ask for help with the mental load. Something about saying "can you help me with..." or "thanks for helping me with..." just grates on me. Most likely because it implies that I own the entire task and my partner only has to think about it and participate if asked, directed and given specific instructions. Sometimes when I'm at my breaking point and feeling frustrated about how much of the mental load I carry, I don't want to ask for help and I need a small way to help me get...

What is the mental load like in LGBTQ+ households?Today, Dr. Jazmin Richter joins us to talk through their experience redistributing the mental load as a queer couple in preparation for kids. In this episode we do a deep dive in to how partners can be more supportive to each other, change language around the mental load, and better align their values to create a more equal distribution of labor. Merch Vision Board

"Just ask for help" when it comes to the mental load. Don't be a nag - why women are held to a double standard in the household. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses why women are held to a double standard; being told to ask for help to alleviate the mental load, while being called a nag when they ask if something's gotten done. Men often get a pass to forget; they have a safety net of their partners who remember everything and know how to communicate the details and logistics of all aspects...

Advice on how to change the mental load from a marriage therapist.The effect the mental load has on marriages and how to have the conversation with your spouse. It's (one) of the episodes you all have been waiting for. How do you have the mental load conversation with your spouse and create meaningful change? Licensed therapist, Kristen Sanchez, takes us through the process of: having the conversationexamining your own contributions approaching your partnercreating lasting changethe impact of...

The mental load and weaponized incompetence. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses what weaponized incompetence looks like after women have been gone for a short or extended period of time from their homes. When we leave our home whether to travel for work or for time away for a little bit of self care, it's unfair to come home to a messy house and kids that are completely off schedule. Why is it that when we're out of town our husbands get to parent like they're in survival mode? But when...

Why do millennial moms expect so much more from their husbands when it comes balancing the mental load?This week Angie and Katlynn debrief their episode with their boomer moms about the mental load. The two biggest takeaways from moms week were: They didn't have the language to talk about the mental load like millennial womenThey accepted and were ok with the way things were Which makes us wonder: where did we get the audacity? Merch Vision Board Mentioned in this episode: Joy School...

One fast way to lighten the mental loadThe affect of mommy influencers on our mental loadThere's no shame in the mommy influencer game. At all. It's a respectable way to make a living. But as millennial moms were inundated with information previous generations didn't have; in large part because of influencers. We've done a lot of damage to our mental health in the early days of influencers. We're just starting to see a shift to more "authentic" content and an even smaller percentage of...

Join two millennial moms and their boomer mothers to discuss the mental load.This week Katlynn and Angie host their moms and mother-in-laws to discuss the mental load and get perspective from a different generation. We have our moms here because we thought it’d be a fun way for people to get to know us but also because as we’ve discussed so often on the podcast, the mental load is gendered, it’s generational and there are so many social standards that keep it in place so we think it’s going...

The Mental Load and Prepping to go out of TownThis week's hot take is about the mental load and prepping to go out of town. Those who carry the mental load can't simply pack their suitcase, give a few minor instructions and leave town. When you carry the mental load, in order to leave town you have to download your inherent knowledge and bring your partner up to speed on everything that needs to happen such as: school schedules/summer camp schedulesappointmentsextracurricular activities For...

What transferrable skills does managing the mental load give moms?Today we’re discussing some of the valuable skill sets you get as a mom from balancing the mental load. I think we all feel stuck sometimes and focus a lot on the drain that the mental load causes and a while back, I listened to a podcast that was focused on skills that are unique to moms in the workplace because of motherhood and it felt like this awesome little pick me up, so I thought today’s topic would be a sweet little...

Sacrificing your sanity and being overwhelmed by the mental load at dinner isn't required.Be earth conscious, but don't feel guilty when you have to use paper plates to lighten the mental load every once and a while.As a family of six, the mental load around dinner and chores related to dinner is never ending. And with summer approaching we'll be running the dishwasher multiple times a day. And while it's important to take care of our earth and we pride ourselves on being an earth-conscious...

How the mental load takes over women's livesHow not to lose yourself in motherhood"I resent the fact that you (dads) get to maintain your individuality, while I do not." The Mental Load often takes over women's lives leaving us feeling unfulfilled and like we lost ourselves in motherhood. It's a form of identity theft that nobody warns us about. When you become a mom, everyone starts to view you as "{insert kid's name} mom" while dads don't become {insert kid's name} dad". Men get to retain...

The mental load and mother's dayFor men: Why moms care so much about Mother's DayJoin Katlynn from the Mental Load Podcast in this Mother's Day hot take. Attention dads! Mother's Day for moms isn't necessarily about how big you celebrate it. It really comes down to being recognized for work that we feel is usually ignored. The holiday's usually fall into the mental load category because there's invisible labor that goes into planning them: - coordinating - planning the logistics - buying the...

Preparing for maternity leave and the start of the mental load.Career coach to help moms navigate a career and children.Women deal with a lot of emotions and roadblocks going into and coming back from maternity leave. How do we better prepare ourselves, our workplaces and our partners so the mental load at home and at work isn’t as bad? We had a great episode a couple weeks ago with Sarah Reeves about how to help shape the workplace into one that is more supportive for caregivers, so today’s...

How do countries outside America support families and therefore lighten the mental load?What do nordic countries do to support families: Baby boxes with important newborn items to set families up for successPaid parental leave In Norway, parental leave is paid at full pay for the first 44 weeks or at 80% if parents opt to take 54 weeks. To encourage both parents to play their part, fathers must take at least six weeks' parental leave or risk the family losing payments for the same period.Free...

The mental load of meal planning.Why families struggle with meals and how it creates invisible labor for women.Meal planning, it's a bitch, right? In this week's hot take, Angie, discusses how her family of six has tackled meal planning. And, if we do say so ourselves, it's kinda genius. Instead of meticulously planning out each meal and the ingredients or making everything on the weekend to simply reheat on the weeknights, they've picked a theme for each night, so the guess work is less and...

Maternity Leave and the mental loadMaternity Leave isn't a vacation. In fact, it's where the mental load really starts and becomes one-sided. Today we discuss how Employee Resource Groups can help support and lighten the load for not just moms, but all caregivers, joined by Sarah Reeves. Sarah is a girl mom to Ella 8, Norah 5, Husband Aaron of 13 years. She's the Director of Product Management at one of the largest internet companies to date. After her first child, she co-founded a global...

Acts of service as a love languageAnecdotally I have noticed that every woman in a heterosexual relationship will say that her love language is acts of service. Ask her husband what her love language is and he'll say "definitely acts of service". But I think this is b******t. What if, women are using acts of service as a love language as a cover for asking our partners to pick up more of the mental load? I find it statistically impossible that every woman lists acts of service as their love...

Telling moms to practice self-care is not an answer to the mental load.What is the issue?  Telling moms to practice more self-care is a b******t cop out.  Self care is defined as the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being. The term “self-care” actually has roots in the civil rights and women’s rights movements of the 1960s and ’70s. (There’s a frequently shared quote by Black...

Motherly's State of Motherhood and the Mental LoadJoin us and special guest, Kate Anderson, Chief of Staff at Motherly to discuss their annual State of Motherhood report. The largest body of research regarding motherhood and issues impacting families. Kate Anderson is a leader in generating change and gender equality within the startup space. As a Chief of Staff at Motherly, a wellbeing destination empowering mothers to thrive with expert content, innovative product solutions, and supportive...

What effect do the holidays have on the mental load for women?The holidays are often some of the most stressful time of year, financially, emotionally and physically for many families. Creating the holiday magic often falls to the already full plate of the mom, so what can we do to have a hot-mess-less holiday season? Angies hot take covers: Caring for your spouse during the holiday season so it can be magical for them tooCreating a joint budgetShopping together How to teach your kids to...

How our partner's anger impacts the mental load for women and affects our kidsWhat is the issue?  We are part of a generation that wasn’t raised to think about kids’ feelings. Our parents didn’t ignore us, but they also weren’t as keyed in on emotional and social well-being as we are today. A big part of the mental load is that we’re the emotional backstop for everyone in the family and when both parents aren’t parenting from a place of emotional well being, it creates a disconnect that...