In this third and final episode from our Conference Special, podcast host Serena Gay talks to childhood abuse survivor Rosie Jefferies about breaking the circle of abuse to become a good parent. Rosie is also the Managing Director of the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) and spoke most movingly at the conference with colleague Sarah Dillon  about their personal surivival stories during the National Conference day in Solihull. A key element to success not just for abuse...

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference focused on a huge variety of issues that challenge parents and social workers nationwide. Everyone had a chance to explore solutions for their own personal difficulties and challenges and in this episode, we focus on the schools discussions and on the dilemmas faced by Kinship Carers and Special Guardians.  In this edition, Serena Gay talks to Daniel Thrower, CEO of the Wensum Trust and to Sair Penna , Director of...

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference attracted parents and professionals from around the country. It was an emotional day. Well, it would be wouldn't it because so much to do with fostering and adopting children from trauma involves raw emotion. Billed as "your roadmap of strategies through to sanity", reflected  the difficulties that come with parenting traumatised children as well as the need for self-care to build the resilience required to keep going....

In this last episode of Series 2,  expert Sarah Dillon explains how and why trauma has such a profound and negative effect on the relationship children have with food.  Their behaviours with it might include: hoarding stealing hiding eating all the time refusing food only eating certain types of food gorging on sugar or sugar productsAll of these have a perfectly good explanation which reflect the upsetting experiences of a child's early years. Not only are all these behaviours typical of...

When small children display signs of sexualised behaviour, foster and adoptive parents find it repugnant. As NATP expert Jane Mitchell explains, they are rightly furious with those responsible for the abuse their child must have suffered in an earlier existence. In this episode, Jane sets out an array of simple but effective  strategies that help to reset a child's understanding of what is appropriate behaviour between children and adults.  But she advises learning to differentiate...

In this episode, Sarah Dillon tells us why traumatized children run away or abscond from loving and caring foster and adoptive families.  She understands this problem in depth both as a professional and because she was once a runner herself.  Sarah tells us children run away for fear-based reasons which do not reflect badly on their foster or adoptive parents. They may not seriously intend staying away but it is likely that they are trying to make sense of unprocessed trauma. Her advice is...

A child in a state of dissociation can be a strange and disturbing thing to witness. In this week's edition, Jessica Jackson - whose own small son has a tendency to dissociate - talks us through why this happens and above all, what to do when it does. Dissociating can best be described as mentally leaving the room. If you are parenting a traumatized child you may be aware that they seem to go into a trance and be completely unaware of what is happening around them. This could well be...

Your first reaction to the sight of your child smeared in its own poo could well be shock and revulsion. But understanding why they do strange things with their faeces or when they urinate on the carpet is key to finding a solution. You might be surprised to learn that this is one of the issues most asked-about on our Facebook page. This episode's guest, Sarah Dillon, the COECT's Therapeutic Lead, has helped many parents and children overcome wee and poo issues using therapeutic...

Little else could be more destructive to a family unit than a child who is violent and aggressive towards their adoptive or foster parents. In this week's episode,  our expert guest, Jane Mitchell,  tells us that children can show superhuman strength when their fears are adrenaline-fuelled. The result can be harm to the parents and costly damage to the family home. As Jane explains, this behaviour is a symptom of the child's sense of overwhelm triggered by traumatic memories. They're...

This week COECT's CEO Sarah Naish talks from personal experience about the strain placed on a relationship when a couple adopts or fosters traumatized children. Parents can quickly experience isolation within the relationship itself. This is especially the case if one becomes the main carer and the other is not around enough to witness the difficulties that arise. About 1 in 3 relationships fail in such families unless help is sought. As Sarah says, raising traumatized children can test...

Remember the child in your school class who was the fidgety one? Or the one who always had their hand up but was ignored by the teacher because they made apparently stupid remarks?  Or the one that seemed to know exactly what was going on everywhere else but was paying no attention at all to the lesson?  You wouldn’t have known it at the time, but this could have been a sign of a traumatized child experiencing extreme stress.  Making the transition from home to school or from Key Stage 1...

If your child is from a traumatized background you may be asking yourself why they are seem so super sensitive to everything. Why are they so watchful and guarded? What are they afraid of? Why do they seem to focus on matters of peripheral importance when they should be concentrating on their lessons or simply on going to sleep? Why can't they just relax? Our expert guest this week, Glynis Hough, makes a welcome return to explain what is happening in a child's mind to make it...

It is often really difficult for the professionals involved to know if a group of traumatized siblings should be kept together or separated once they've been removed from their birth families.  There are so many factors to weigh in the balance such as: Do the siblings depend on each other and have they formed an unbreakable bond? Or is there intense rivalry and jealousy between them?Have the boys been encouraged to think they are more important than the girls? Will learned patterns of...

Raising a traumatised child to adulthood is fraught with challenges. But if you get Jane Mitchell's Super Strategies in place from the very start, you'll find them a great support. They form a template that help you face up all the problems that come your way in a consistent, predictable and reliable way that ultimately help your child feel safe. Above all they help your child to learn that they matter to you.  We're talking about Super Strategies such as: PausingBeing Playful Showing...

In the first edition of Series 2, you'll hear plenty of therapeutic parenting strategies for coping with the inevitable loneliness and isolation experienced by the parents of traumatised children. COECT's CEO Sarah Naish talks about her own challenging experience bringing up five siblings from a traumatised background on her own after the break-up of her marriage. She tells us how other mums distanced themselves from her family because of her adopted children's difficult behaviour. Sarah...

Therapeutic foster parenting is about proactive not reactive techniques

Help your child overcome the damage inflicted by toxic relationships

This social worker has to remain anonymous for professional reasons but her advice is and insights are invaluable

The first father interview on the series discusses compassion fatigue, secondary trauma and the grieving process

Sleep will improve in time but consistency is key

Rosie's personal journey from the dark into the light

Strategies to help you cope and to understand what your traumatised child is going through

Overcoming the mismatch of expectations between a child and its prospective adoptive parents

Why traumatised children suffer a lack of self worth