Honest Critique
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“The iTune's star rating system is ridiculous. I don't hate it. I listen as an editor from the perspective of a reader/listener and see where improvements can be made to make a work viable. As is, It's not too viable.
I think this could be good, but some major revision and improvements need to happen. The writer has used way too much passive language, words like was and were). The writer has overuse language like 'wanted'. There are also details that do not serve to move the story forward.
Listeners are no different than readers. The writer needs to show us rather than tell us. We also need more energy and character division from the narrator. There needs to be more dialogue and character development in the active rather than the passive. Readers/listeners don't want to be told a story. They want to experience a story. Telling puts readers to sleep and is not memorable while experiencing a story through active language keeps them excited and always wondering what's around the corner.”
TheTCT via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
07/03/14
More reviews of Trudie Lem
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“Follow the adventures of Trudie, space ship captain, detective and erstwhile criminal. Funny and entertaining.”
Sparrowdeplume via Apple Podcasts ·
New Zealand ·
07/11/14
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