Episodes
This is my first round table episode in over a year! On this week's episode, I had two of my favorite couples over to discuss social media and its effects on relationships. We chat through the pressure to seem perfect, posting about break ups, how to drown out the opinions of others and so much more. Listen to the end for a tangent (although an extremely enlightening one) about navigating another layer of complication: when one person in a partnership has ADHD. Follow everyone...
Published 03/31/23
It's okay to be early on in your sexual journey than others. We don't shame around here! If you feel like you need a refresher on sex education, looking for some tips & tricks to be better in bed or are simply just starting out - this is the episode for you!
Get tested for STIs here: https://gettested.cdc.gov/
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Published 03/17/23
On this month's solo episode, I discuss how important emotion regulation has become to me, for myself and for the sake of my relationship. I also talk about how sometimes forbearance is the right choice over open communication and how to keep a spark alive even in a long-term relationship. Give it a listen and let me know what you think!
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To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel
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Published 03/03/23
I had couples & relationships therapist, consent, sex & sexuality writer and educator Yana Tallon-Hicks on the show this week! We discussed how to navigate desire differences in a relationship, understanding the root of your kinks, how your sex life affects the rest of our life and why it's okay to own your vanilla-ness even in this new ultra sex-positive world!
Get Yana's new book "Hot & Unbothered" here! https://yanatallonhicks.com/preorder/
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Published 02/24/23
This month's Q&A is one of those episodes where there's something for everyone. If any of the advice you hear today might resonate with someone you know, send it along for the greater good of humanity! We answer questions such as: What should I do about a friend who's too flirty with my partner? If a guy is too nice, should I worry he'll eventually become a "Wife Guy?" How do I handle an ex who is punishing me simply for ending things? Give this episode a listen to hear the answers to...
Published 02/17/23
I had Adrienne, also known as The Yoni Nutritionist, on the show today for a crash course in vaginal and sexual health. Adrienne is a certified nutritional practitioner who specializes in holistic nutrition & wellness for common, chronic vaginal infections like yeast infections, candida overgrowth, bacterial vaginosis, UTI’s, and STI's. We talk about the medicinal struggle for people with vaginas, the importance of diet and stress and how they may be affecting you more than you realize...
Published 01/20/23
This week I had the incredible Tricia Wise, also known as Safe Slut, on the show. We talked about life with genital herpes, how reiki can help heal sexual traumas and navigating the safe sex conversation. Tricia and I discuss red flags when it comes to talking about STIs and the importance of setting clear boundaries with people. See more from Tricia here! https://www.safeslut.shop/about
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Published 01/13/23
I had award-winning global CamStar, Lindsey Banks, on the show today. Banksie, who is a veteran in the adult industry, has also been on multiple panels, hosted seminars and works as a voice for cam girls, sex workers and Latinx creators in the community. We discuss her career trajectory, incorporating virtual reality into sex work, the emotional side of camming and so much more.
Get more from Banksie here! https://www.banksietv.com/about-me
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Published 12/30/22
For our last Q&A of the year, Gabby and I tackle a ton of listener-submitted questions! We discuss how to work around a penis that's too big, navigating a partner's pronouns around family during the holidays, and why the classic saying "Those who look will find" is so true when it comes to snooping.
Follow Gabby! https://linktr.ee/gabbysibaja
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To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel
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Published 12/23/22
I had the incredible Dr. Tara on the show today to discuss overcoming sexual anxiety. Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, an award-winning researcher, sex and relationship coach, and the host of the Luvbites podcast. We also discuss the idea that dating is a learned skill and the importance of prioritizing pleasure over performance.
Learn more from Dr. Tara here! https://www.luvbites.co/
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Published 12/16/22
This is an episode that starts off as one thing, goes into an entirely different thing and then somehow comes full circle and works relatively cohesively. C'est la vie. I discuss the science behind why unhealthy relationships can be so addicting, our need for validation and how it can be traced back to childhood, the importance of rejecting normalcy, and why it's cool to be a piece of shit.
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Published 12/09/22
Kristofer and I became online friends over the pandemic and after reading his essay "Dad Used To Have Boobs (And They Were Kind Of Big)," I knew I wanted to have him on the show. Kristofer is a comic, screenwriter, and Twitter personality, and today he joined me to discuss his experience dating while trans, our thoughts on the nuance of bisexuality and navigating fetishization on dating apps.
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Published 12/02/22
Gabby is back for this month's listener-submitted Q&A and let me tell you - this is a crazy one. We got more personal than ever while discussing the best b*****b techniques and how to make car sex amazing (I told the story about the time I had spite sex in a berry field). We also answered some more serious questions involving sexual compatibility, being new to queer dating and when to keep fighting in a relationship versus calling it quits.
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Published 11/25/22
For our last Q&A of the year, Gabby and I tackle a ton of listener-submitted questions! We discuss how to work around a penis that's too big, navigating a partner's pronouns around family during the holidays, and why the classic saying "Those who look will find" is so true when it comes to snooping.
Follow Gabby! https://linktr.ee/gabbysibaja
Follow Raya:
Instagram: @rayacarmona
Twitter: @rayacarmona
TikTok: @rayacarmona
To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel
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Published 11/18/22
I had professional dominatrix Lucy Sweetkill on the show today to walk us through life as a dominatrix with over 10 years of experience. From how she got started to the power dynamics around dungeons, this episode feels like a crash course on the world of professional BDSM. Lucy also explains the art of mindful domination, boundary setting and healing trauma through kink.
Follow Raya:
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Twitter: @rayacarmona
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To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's...
Published 11/11/22
This was one of the most fun episodes I've ever recorded on the show. I invited my ex (and now very good friend) Chris to join me for a very candid conversation about our previous relationship. We broke up many years ago, and although it was quite a serious relationship, looking back with the hindsight and maturity that time has given us was so interesting. We also discuss the nuance to being friends with someone you were once in a partnership with, and why it doesn't always work out as well...
Published 11/04/22
My good friend Cici joins me today to chat about all things sex work. Cici has spent time as a dancer, an escort and an OnlyFans creator, so we discuss the pros and cons of doing one type of sex work versus another. We also talk through the difficulties that can arise behind the scenes in the world of stripping as well as how our work on OnlyFans has actually helped us create better boundaries in real life.
Follow Cici on Instagram at instagram.com/spicycowgal
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Published 10/28/22
Gabby joins the show for our first monthly Q&A of the season and we've got some wild listener-submitted questions. How unethical is it to m********e to an ex's nudes? Does watching gay porn make me gay? How do I ask for better sex without upsetting my partner? We answer all of that and more on today's episode!
Follow Gabby on Instagram at instagram.com/gabbysibaja
Follow Raya:
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Twitter: @rayacarmona
TikTok: @rayacarmona
To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's...
Published 10/21/22
Of all the STIs, why does herpes carry such a heavy stigma? When did it become the sexual boogeyman? Suzanna Brusikiewicz is determined to change that. In 2021, she came out publicly about having HSV2 and has been working ever since to spread awareness as well as unconditional love and self-acceptance. Alongside her work as a sensual guide, Suz works to help people reclaim their sensuality and let go of society's judgements.
See more from Suzanna here: https://www.suzbub.com/
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Published 10/14/22
No one knows marketing and media more than this week’s guest and my good friend Kristi. We met during our time working at Playboy, so we kick off the episode by discussing the #1 question we used to get: Where is line between objectification and sexual empowerment? We also talk about the harmful effects of porn & romcoms, the times we let media dictate our sex lives and the importance of intimacy coordinators on set.
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Published 10/07/22
It's my first episode of the new season! Solo episodes are hard for me. I suffer from serious imposter syndrome. As you can see from the title of the episode, this is basically a stream of consciousness in regards to the pressure I (and most people) put on ourselves - whether that's in relationships, the bedroom, or just life in general. I talk about accepting every version of myself and the pressure to perform on social media. We get deep.
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Published 09/30/22
This week, Raya is joined by LA-based comedian and podcast host Yamini Nambimadom. Yamini takes Raya through her almost year-long relationship that started during the pandemic and has been entirely had via Zoom, texting & FaceTime. They also chat about how quarantine has helped people learn to be more honest, set boundaries, and possibly may even lead to safer sex. Listen to Yamini's podcast here. Do you have suggestions for any future topics? Drop Raya an email at
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Published 05/13/21
This week, Raya is joined by Portia - the founder & creator of Froetic Sexology. Portia and Raya discuss the ways in which they were taught about sex as well as how it can be improved for generations going forward. Portia explains how to bring mindfulness and meditation practices into sexual experiences, and how it can lead to even better orgasms. Portia and Raya also dive deep into the importance of looking at sex as a co-creative experience versus a performance, which they find many...
Published 04/22/21
This week, Raya is joined by Charles & Shelley Wininger. Over the past 20 years, Charley, 71 years old, and Shelley, 69 years old, have found MDMA to act as a kind of romantic glue for them. They've used it intentionally to enhance and deepen their bond, with its positive effects on their marriage accumulating over time. They explain that they’ve done MDMA carefully and responsibly together over 70 times. We chat through how the drug has rejuvenated them both emotionally and sexually as...
Published 04/08/21
For the season 3 premiere of Was That Good For You?, Raya chats with porn collage artist Lisa Be and photographer Rina Mov to discuss what it means to be a "nasty woman." They debate the best time to start being open about bodily functions with a new partner as well as the standards women are held to when it comes to those things. They also discuss why men are uncomfortable around women who openly like sex and even swap stories of the times they've had to get "nasty" in front of their sexual...
Published 04/01/21