"Alfredo caulk." Whew, busy couple weeks, huh? Join Eva, Rave, and Kelly to check in on the Caps' increasingly not-bad play, Ovi's fibula, THE RETURN OF LARS ELLER!, hot witch Sid, Jumbo Joe's jersey retirement, Jonathan Toews' toxins, and, yes, sorry: Mats Zuccarello's balls. This episode was recorded on November 24, 2024.

"Sauna." Kelly, Rave, Eva, and all our favorite guys are settling in to this hockey season. Let's check in! Whomst of our Capitals is fueled by spite? Which hot old man is least likely to leave his cozy nest? Which coach is lie-truthing, and which one is truth-lying? Who is farming our engagement? And what the HELL is the Phenomenotter googling over there?? This episode was recorded on November 10, 2024.

"Sportsbetting dot org dot gov." The Caps were winning games for a minute there and Rave, Eva, and Kelly found it unsettling. Thankfully, the Pens’ suffering, the Canucks’ neuroses, the league’s Halloween costumes, and the anti-5G armor of one particular Toronto Maple Leaf kept us tethered to reality. This episode was recorded on October 27, 2024.

"Who's where??" Eva, Kelly, and Rave are BACK, baby. Get ready for everything that entails: sighing with fond exasperation at the Washington Capitals; forgetting teams and players we've absolutely discussed before; prodding marketing material and astrological charts for signs of depth; and, occasionally, talkin' 'bout hockey. This episode was recorded on October 14, 2024.

Pod's back this week for our EIGHTH season of NHL hockey. Sorry! You're welcome!

"Spiritual divorce." Lord Stanley has chosen his babies of the year, and gosh if your hosts didn't just delight in the adventure to get here. Eva, Rave, and Kelly reflect on the accuracy of our pre-finals tarot reading, celebrate the satisfying plot developments in the narratives of Mssrs. Tkachuck and McDavid, crown their own playoffs Super Freak, gut check changes to the Caps roster (and to CapFriendly's public access), and more in this, our supersized final episode of the '23-'24 NHL...

"Not on OUR part of the internet." Rave, Eva, and Kelly did not necessarily predict this Stanley Cup finals matchup, but one must admit there is something satisfyingly YCDT-coded about its hashtag narratives. Join us as we check in on DILF softball in DC, eulogize our fallen Stars/Rangers, and ask the tarot cards what to expect in the final round. This episode was recorded on June 2, 2024.

"Make my doodle look butch." Kelly, Rave, and Eva are back with Round 2 thoughts as the playoffs continue to dazzle and delight, and, in the case of one team in particular, cause Kelly great mental anguish. Press play for the league's most compelling gay fox-dog, community reffing, NateMac's hostile takeover of Sidney Crosby's summer house, and the unexpected silver lining of the Rangers' success. This episode was recorded on May 19, 2024.

"A pious suitor for my eldest daughter." This is an episode filled with evil laughter, but to be fair to Eva, Kelly, and Rave, there are quite a lot of things worth laughing evilly about as the playoffs move into the second round. Points of interest include Kuzy's perpetual-motion hate machine, the battle of the Florida Mans, and the phrase "Sean Cody's little rascals." This episode was recorded on May 5, 2024.

"The pathos is upped." Check in on the playoffs' first round with Kelly, Eva, and Rave! Lots to contend with so far, including Kuzy gaslighting the Canes with a veneer of respectability, Caps messiness (fond), Canucks messiness (anxious), and sweet Mitchell Marner's exquisite suffering. This episode was recorded on April 27, 2024.

It's the return of a YCDT tradition: Rave, Eva, and Kelly assess the Stanley Cup Playoffs round one matchups to determine the non-hockey games these teams should actually be playing based on their shared auras, histories, and hopes. To hear the rest of this bonus segment, support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat

"Wienerpeg our way to the top." The Caps are teetering on the precipice of doing something SO hilarious. You may listen to this episode after their fate has been sealed - if so, please enjoy this snapshot of Eva, Rave, and Kelly's mental and emotional state in the before times. Also on the ol' outline this week: uncrunchable Nicke, calm collected Cooley, the Yotes' no good very bad ownership, and an ode to scholar-author Lexi LaFleur Brown. This episode was recorded on April 14, 2024.

"He meant what he yelled." Our Washington Capitals remain too stupid to realize that they are dead and Kelly, Rave, and Eva are delighted! What a time we're all having! Topics for discussion include TJ's 1000th, the Pens' existential dread, Kuzy's new nest, Torts' hissy fit, the Larkin-less Red Wings, and a funky little Pittsburgh mystery. This episode was recorded on March 17, 2024.

"Who to the core." Much occurred while this pod was fighting off illness, so Rave, Kelly, and Eva roll up their sleeves to tackle an agenda that includes the half-life of cocaine, Ted's big fail, Auston's golf...pod?, the Tampa yakuza, and the brief but appreciated heroism of Anthony Manthony. And in the distance, the trade deadline looms... This episode was recorded on March 3, 2024.

"We have sparkling water money on the line." There's a lot about this year's All Star weekend for Eva, Kelly, and Rave to analyze, including Brock Boeser's "Favorite Boy" award, Kuch's boos, Michael Buble's drug experience, and...those player portraits. You know the ones. Also: Ovi's got his groove back; odes to discontinued jerseys; and an update from Kelly's Canucks corner. This episode was recorded on February 11, 2024.

"The Amazing...Unlawful Confinement." Did you know that like our Washington Capitals, YCDT has a fun little freak tunnel of our own? Kelly, Eva, and Rave are having a grand ol' time in there. Coaching trends are getting analyzed, forcibly-separated bonded pairs are being mourned, improvements to the All Star Game are being suggested (AGAIN. FOREVER). Come hang in the freak tunnel with us!! This episode was recorded on January 18, 2024.

"It's bad pedagogy." It's a new year! But like the Washington Capitals, this pod is back on its traditional and beloved b******t. And we've lots to discuss, including Ethan Bear, the Pens-Caps nursing home derby, leech fears, the return of Dima, hot mic vendettas, broken jaws, classiness, and whether or not we want Dylan Strome to face Connor McDavid at the ASG in front of god and everyone so we can study his micro-expressions in gif form. (Opinion is, in fact, divided.) This episode was...

"No more Kuzy sauce in the pasta room." The Caps are frolicking through this season with a buoyancy that Eva, Rave, and Kelly cannot help but be charmed by: Kuzy sauce? Tom trick? Dallas slut-ery?? C'mon, we're only human. Also on the agenda: hunting for Bear, Jacob Trouba's artistic explorations, Chicago and Detroit warring for Eva's heart, Rod's angry Bod, the Flyers renaissance, and MONEY MONEY MONEY. And WAGs. This episode was recorded on December 10, 2023.

"Put a bag over your birdcage." Critical questions for Kelly, Rave, and Eva this week: Who's the Selling Sunset and who's the Prison Break? Who's the Patrik Laine and who's the Taylor Hall? Who's getting his biceps squeezed on Swedish TV and who's remaking his struggling professional organization in his image? And do you think Sid & Ovi saved hockey or are you WRONG? This episode was recorded on November 26, 2023.

"All my life to game." On the emotional scale of Canadian hockey teams, how are YOU doing? Because Nicklas Bäckström is "stepping away from the game" so Rave, Kelly, and Eva aren't great!! At least we have Capitals' Halloween costumes, a Sharks win, and Sabres Speed Dating to soothe us. This episode was recorded on November 12, 2023.

"He does not. Give. One. Hell." Eva, Kelly, and Rave are shocked - SHOCKED! To discover there's GAMBLING going on in this hockey establishment! This week they're checking in on the latest from Ottawa, observing the Dylan Strome of it all in Washington and the Connor Bedard-ing in Chicago, bidding a fond farewell to Jumbo Joe, and scolding the league YET AGAIN for writing dry-erase checks it can't cash. This episode was recorded on October 29, 2023.

"That gyre is gonna f*ckin' widen, baby." The NHL banned rainbow stick tape celebrations of LGBTQ+ support, but as usual, the joke's on the league because this pod's gay little hands are all over this sport and will be forever. Kelly, Rave, and Eva weigh in on that nonsense, plus a fun and flirty week of good, bad, and unimportant hockey from the Pens, Canucks, and Caps, respectively. This episode was recorded on October 15, 2023.

"There's something delightful about a rat boy forcing your hand." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are sooooo back, and with quite a summer to recap, from Kuzy's unfiltered interview to Mark Badcop's blessedly brief time as CBJ coach and the return of both spite-fueled Nicke and noted Sidney Crosby fan Evgeni Malkin. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2023.

"They're both sans serif." That's a wrap on the '22-'23 NHL season! While our preferred goobers may not have won, Kelly, Eva, and Rave have room in their hearts for some Vegas narratives, too. Plus: Checking in on terrible coaches, fractured locker rooms, Kyle, and our babiest baby's new baby on board. This episode was recorded on June 18, 2023.