Description
I write this episode as the rain pelts the airport tarmac outside as I sit here ready to board my plane home from a weekend trip in Charlotte. Before I do that, I’d like to share a few thoughts on being authentic in our speech and living the art of truthfulness.
Grab your cup of coffee and join me.
And oh yeah….quick note… be careful with flying with a hand coffee grinder. You should have seen the look on the TSA employee’s face when, after checking my bag, she pulls out the grinder with a quizzical look, opens it, and then smelled the delicious fresh coffee beans inside. I offered to make her a cup, but alas...she had work to do.
But, I digress...
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Have you ever found yourself biting your lip, holding back what you really wanted to say, but held back for one reason or another?
Telling the truth and being honest in our communication can be as difficult as holding sand in our hands. Squeeze the hand too hard and it hurts. Too light and sand falls swiftly through the fingers.
Like riding a rollercoaster, we’re often raised to keep the limbs of truth inside the ride of life at all times to keep safe from offending family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances.
What are a few examples of when I’ve held back from speaking what I’ve honestly thought?
--- When a family member continues to eat foods that harm her even after being diagnosed with diabetes brought on from obesity and eating too much of these foods
--- When a coworker talks badly about another at the proverbial water cooler
--- When a loved one says a prejudicial slur at the holiday dinner table
And these are just a few times at which I’ve bitten my lip. The practice of telling the truth is something that I continue to work on because so many ancient texts encourage us to speak the truth -- both to ourselves and to others -- throughout our lives.
The yogic texts call this practice of truthfulness, Satya. As Patanjali put it, “To one established in truthfulness, actions and their results will be become subservient.”
In the Abrahamic texts, Jesus of Nazareth said we should speak and live truthfully. In the Book of Ephesians, he is said to say, “each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”
Popular culture also teaches us this as well between the lines of a movie or book, even back to good ol’ Will Shakespeare. Polonius tells his son Laertes in the play Hamlet before he goes off to college: “Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportion’d thought his act.” Of course, for anyone who knows the play well, Polonius needs to listen to a bit of his own advice.
So, how do we speak the truth, live honestly, and be authentic without being ostracized by those we love? (I have no desire to don a robe and live in a cave in the Himalayas and I think you’d prefer not to, as well. It’s a beautiful world we live in and I intend to be an active part of it.)
And to tell you the truth, as a writer I know there’s tremendous value in bending the truth, at least when it comes to helping one to feel the truth. Why? Tim O’ Brien, author of the brilliant metaphysical war story The Things They Carried, perhaps puts it best: “That's what fiction is for. It's for getting at the truth when the truth isn't sufficient for the truth.”
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